My 15 year old sister as MOH...Other people picking up the slack.

adriennevazquez

So I finally picked my WP after debating on making my EXTENDED family happy or myself happy.  They all thought I should pick my cousins and family members even though I dont ever see or talk to any of them.  Luckily my immediate family is on my side.

Anyways, my wedding party consists of my little sister as my MOH and three old friends of mine.  Here's my perdicament.  My sister is only 15 years old and although I cannot think of anyone better to be my MOH, I have to be realistic in understanding there are things she just cant help me with.  I am having a little get together next weekend to break the news to the BM's that they're in the wedding.  How do I explain to them that they need to take over most of the MOH duties?  Should I assign one of them to be a "second" MOH?  Should I let it go and just pick up the slack myself?

Thanks!

 

anne.azano

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_15-year-old-sister-mohother-people-picking-up-slack?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:07aedc4e-1830-4b56-a0d5-1f927f38733dPost:542bc884-b5f8-4405-8e47-2bcde886abb3">Re: My 15 year old sister as MOH...Other people picking up the slack.</a>:
[QUOTE]I dont see anything wrong with inviting my girlfriends out for a fun night on the town...I dont really get how thats a problem.  I can totally understand if I were asking them for something BUT Im not asking them to pay for anything.  In a sence it would be just like any other night out with the girls except its a couple of weeks before my wedding day.  I'm not going to make a big deal about it being about me...If they do then thats their perogative.  To me its an excuse for all of us to get together and have an amazing time.  Its just like any other celebration, friend's raise, new baby, engagement,  whatever happy moments life throws at you.  Just a fun night to celebrate.  What world do we live in that we cant even invite people to have fun and celebrate with us anymore.  NOT PAYING, NOT OBLIGATED, NOT ALL ABOUT ME...Just go out and have fun.  No title attached. (BACHELORETTE PARTY)
Posted by adriennevazquez[/QUOTE]

<div>I have to say I agree with you.  My sisters are organising mine, so it isn't something I've had to worry about, but I had no idea it was this horrible unpardonable sin to throw your own bachelorette before I started lurking on the knot.  And I bet that the vast majority of my friends wouldn't know either because only a few of them are married.  So, if your friends don't step up, I don't think its a problem to have a night out with your girls before you get married.... I'd just keep in low-key, forget the limo, the hotel, and anything expensive.  Invite them over for cosmos and a sleepover rom-com night, give each other at-home facials and manicures, or go to your local bar for drinks, whatever.  I can't see how anyone would begrudge you that.  I know I wouldn't think twice about etiquette if a friend invited me to something like that before she was getting married.  If I wasn't being asked to buy a present or shell out for a hotel or a stripper, I wouldn't care who organised it.  I would only care that I was out having fun with my friends, which is really what matters, isn't it?  </div><div>
</div><div>But, in all likelihood, none of this will matter in the slightest, because your friends will probably realize that your fifteen year old sister will not be able to do this on her own, and will organise something for you.  So, I'd cross that bridge when you get there and not worry about it for now.</div>

KabFrr

I was my sister's MOH when I was 16. I definitely worked on the plans for her parties and stuff, but my mom took care of the shower. All her friends were still in college or recently graduated, and had no money for it. Now that I'm getting married, it's the same situation, only my sister is old enough to do more for me

ebebe

My sister is my MOH - she is 13 now and will be turning 15 right before the wedding.  My mother and FMIL are planning on throwing me a bridal shower and I'm pretty sure all my BM's are going to throw me a bachelorette party since they've mentioned it.  However - never in a million years would I assume or expect that they were going to do this.  These are GIFTS to me, from the people that love me because they love me and want to celebrate me... which I am so grateful for.

As far as throwing your own bachelorette party - I personally agree that it's tacky to do this.  However, if you want to invite all your girls over or out or whatever in THEIR honor for being so helpful to you as you planned the wedding, I think that is nice.  I would not though, think it was nice if you planned it in honor of YOURSELF and I doubt your girls would either.  So I guess the bottom line is, if you're going to throw a party with your girls before the wedding, you should do it to celebrate your girls, not yourself.

Oh and for the girl with all the numbers as her name - you are just looking for an argument.  But the truth of the matter is, none of what you are saying makes sense.

nicole1125

Wow The claws are out.....I dont know what kind of friends everyone has but if my girls didnt seem to plan a night out before my wedding and I said "lets go get drinks on fri to celebrate my last night out as a single lady". I doubt any of them would think it was rude at all. I  think they would come and have a good fun time. Im sure your girls will plan it tho, but I dont see anything wrong with you planning a night if they dont. Of course I wouldnt go somewhere crazy or stay somewhere and expect them to pay but a fun not-pricey dinner and drinks is fine. GL and do what you feel is right, this is a once in a life time event and you should exprience it all!

jaclyndoherty

OP I dont think you are in the wrong for thinking ahead to your bach. party and bridal shower. I was 19 when I was in my sister's wedding and I was broke and in college. My mom took care of everything I should have. My mom is the one throwing my a wedding shower now. Someone will do it for you. Plus once you even attempt to plan your bach. party I am sure (well I hope) that one of your friends with take control and tell you to sit back and relax.

kallenlc

I was in a good friend's wedding with basically the same situation. Her younger sis (I think she was 16 or 17 at the time) was the MOH. While a lot of the posts are right about you not asking or expecting parties from your BM/MOH, it is traditional for the MOH & BM to host or throw certain events. I'm from the south & that's just how we do things:) Luckily, if your friends are of the same mindset as you then you won't have to explain anything. When my friend got married, each one of the BM took a different event knowing that her sis couldn't host one on her own. One of us hosted the kitchen shower, two others hosted the house/misc shower, & I hosted the lingerie shower. All of us planned the bachelorette party. It worked out perfectly. Good luck to you:)

banana468

I think some people are confused on what is and isn't appropriate.  Thank you to some of the regs for clearing that up!