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Flower "Girl" Options

So the FI and I don't have any particular girls in our life that would be suitable as a flower girl - except his sisters who are a little older (think pre-teen or teenager). I really do not want to "remove" this role from my wedding - and while I'm fully aware that you can replace it with something similar (I do not intend to "just pick someone," so don't worry about that) I'm just trying to get some ideas of what we can do.

If we have one of his little sisters serve as the "Flower Girl," how can we make it seem a little more 'adult' and less like a childs role?

We also considered having our nephews give flowers to our mothers and stepmother (between the two of us we have three nephews who are all around the same age) but weren't sure how that would go over.

Anyone have any clever ideas on how to keep the "flower girl" role alive without having a decked out kindergardener with a basket of petals?
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Re: Flower "Girl" Options

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    Why is it so important to you to have a flower girl?  I'm just curious, I haven't seen a real-life wedding with a flower girl in a while.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    It's tradition? I just like it? :)

    FI and I both come from rather "traditional" southern families and for us it would just be strange to not have a flower girl. I know you don't "need" one but it's just something that, to me, makes a wedding a wedding, so I would like to incorporate it in some way. I know not having a small child being the flower girl is still changing things, but the idea is still there.
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    My SIL had her bridesmaids drop petals in lieu of a flower girl.  They joked that they were "flower maidens" or something similar.
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    Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
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    I think you'd need to ask them how they'd feel.  When I was in my early teens, I was way too mature to be a flower girl - and I wouldn't care if that's what the bride wanted.
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
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    You could just list everyone in the program under the heading, "Wedding Party," that way a teen girl could still drop petals but wouldn't be labeled a "Flower Girl." (And if you're not having a program, there's no need to give that person a title in the first place.)

    Giving roses to the mothers is also a nice idea.

    They could carry something else down the aisle ... a Bible, a small floral arrangement for the altar area, the rings on a pillow or in a box, etc.
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    For me, she would be a flower girl regardless of what you called her.  If she's dropping flowers on the aisle as she walks, she's a flower girl.  I would think that most teens girls the position of flower girl would be rather mortifying.

    IMO, if you don't have anyone of flower girl age then don't have one.  Just because you come from "traditional" families does not mean that you must follow every.single.tradition.

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    Yeah, I would have felt pretty embarrassed to be dropping flower petals down an aisle after about age eight or so, no matter what title I was given.  Some girls might be cool with doing it at an older age, but it varies. 

    It can't hurt to ask the girls if they're okay with doing it, but don't be surprised if they say they'd rather not.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    I actually wasn't thinking of dropping petals at all if it was an older girl - but again something more similar to giving someone a flower or something. I totally agree that they might feel too "mature" to do it, which is why I wanted to spruce it up. I love the bible idea!

    And we actually aren't sticking to "every single" tradition - I'm actually getting away from quite a few of them so I thought that it would be nice to at least keep the "wedding party" in tact. Thanks again for the suggestions, everyone! :)
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    My flower girl will be preteen, 11, for the wedding, a bit older than traditional, but its been her dream for years to be the flower girl for her dad's wedding.
    I also figured the ring bearer and flower girl tradition was pretty much over, The only wedding Ive been to that had them was one of those pretty pretty princess weddings, I always associated them with the other meaningless traditions that we can easily get rid of since its really just about asthetics, but it was actually important to Fi to have both, he wanted the whole wedding package lol asthetics can have a sentimental meaning and thats not always bad. :)

    But unless the girl wants to be a flower girl, just make them bridesmaids, it will make them feel better, at that age most kids want to feel more grown up, tell them you want them involved and ask their ideas and what they want to do, it shows you respect them more than a random tradition, that you like them as individuals.
    I kind of like the nephews giving flowers thing, if you are very close to the nephews and want them involved because you love them. Otherwise it just makes them props, which is not at all romantic lol


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    What about morphing it a bit.  Have one of the older girls walk with the little boys who are throwing petels.  The boys would probabaly have a blast and I provided the teen girls aren't the "too cool for school" type I'm sure they would be into it.
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