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Junior bridesmaids?

My mom wants me to include my two teenage cousins in the wedding day somehow. I am totally fine with it, but not sure what exactly to do with them. Junior bridesmaids right?  I want to make sure they feel included, but also want my regular bridesmaids and I have enough space on the wedding day to not feel like we have to play babysitter.

My mom wants me to ask them to get ready with us, but I'm going to want some quality  time with my regular bridesmaids to give them their thank you gifts and do girl gab.  If we start getting ready at 1pm, and the junior bms arrive at 2pm for an hour of prep before photos is that ok?

Then, is it ok to ask them to act as greeters for the ceremony?  I figure they want to feel active and included, and this is a good task for them (basically, handing out programs and favors when folks arrive).  Any reason this isn't ok?

And one more thing... should I ask them to wear a particular dress or color?  I don't care and don't want to pressure them, and the wedding is somewhat casual outdoor affair, but do you think that would make them feel more "special"?  How should I take into account their personal styles?  I'm thinking something nice (but cheap!) from Delias could work?

Thanks!

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Re: Junior bridesmaids?

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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    A "junior bridesmaid" is the exact same thing as a "bridesmaid" - they both wear a specific dress, walk down the aisle, stand/sit together for the ceremony, and pose for the formal photos. So if you're planning on having these girls do those things, then they'd be Bridesmaids. There's essentially no point to the "junior" label other than pointing out that these girls are young, which really is not necessary. (Some people like the title, but it's not like labeling them as such makes them any different from the adult bridesmaids or implies that they attended the bachelorette or something.)

    I don't think there's a logistical problem with asking them to arrive later than the adults, but if you're calling them bridesmaids then that runs the risks of hurting their feelings. "I want you to be my bridesmaids, but I don't want to hang out with you like I do with my other bridesmaids." I understand your reasoning (I wouldn't really have wanted to hang around kids on my wedding day either), but if they're teenagers then they're probably old enough to realize that you're  separating your bridal party into Adults and Little Girls, and they might feel hurt or left out by that.

    As for passing out programs and favors - again, that depends on whether they see it as a thrill to be involved, or as a baby job you're giving them to get them out of your hair/separate them from the other bridesmaids. Most people here will argue that putting someone to work is not honoring them, but I think you can sometimes get away with this with young kids. But if they're teens, then they're probably on the border of "Oh cool, I get to do something!" versus "Why am I being treated like a baby?"

    If you're asking them to be bridesmaids, then talk to their parents first and get an idea of what you want to dress them in and what they can afford to spend on their outfits, and go from there. You don't have to have your bridesmaids in specific outfits, so it's your call. But I would not ask them to buy specific outfits unless they'll be actual bridesmaids.

    I think you really need to hammer out what you'll be asking from them or allowing them to do, before you ask them to participate. I wouldn't feel right about asking them to be "bridesmaids" unless you're actually going to treat them as such ... I don't think slapping the "junior" title on there makes it O.K. to have them be "sort-of bridesmaids but not really," know what I mean? I would either have them be full-fledged bridesmaids like the other girls, or think of something else. Maybe they can do a reading, bring up Communion, or pass out programs if they're cool with that. Otherwise they can just be guests.
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    That is an incredibly helpful response.  Thanks!
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    NP ... for what it's worth, I have two teenage cousins and I couldn't really picture them wanting to do anything like that. We get along well but I'm not close enough to them to have asked them to be bridesmaids, and I think they wouldn't be interested in handing out programs or anything like that (but they're 16 and 18, so maybe girls under about 14 would enjoy it?). 

    They seemed to just enjoy getting to come to the wedding in pretty dresses and dancing. I sent them each their own invitation (didn't put them on their parents' invitation), and the 16 year-old wrote on her reply card that she was so excited to have gotten her "very own invite" for a change, which I thought was cute. I also gave them their own place cards. At that age, personally, I think I would've just appreciated being treated as an adult rather than a little girl.
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    i have 2 teenage (sisters) cousins who i am SUPER close with. they were my JR BMs (they are in the front row of the group pics in my married bio) our dads (brothers) are SUPER close....always have been....and i couldnt have imagined them NOT being in my wedding!

    they wore the same dress that was very similar to the older girls. they had the same bouquets as the older girls, but smaller. and they stood during the ceremony and walked back up the aisle alone.
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