Wedding Party
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Do the wedding party bring dates to the rehearsal dinner?

My FW and I have VERY big wedding parties, 6 each, and both also have very large immidiate families.  WITHOUT bringing dates the dinner would be 27 people when you include our Ushers, and our families.  With dates it baloons to 38.  Tiffanee adn I are paying for everything our selves, and we're on quite a budget, and 11 more people will be quite a big increase in spending for us.  Is it wrong to not invite guests to the rehearsal dinner?

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Re: Do the wedding party bring dates to the rehearsal dinner?

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    Yes, if they are in a serious relationship/engaged/married, they should be invited with their date.  Also, if they are OOT and bringing a date to the wedding, their date should be invited so they aren't stuck in a hotel room entertaining themselves in a strange place.

    I understand the problem--we will have big wedding parties and my FI has a huge family, so we're grilling out at my parents.  We might have some beer or wine, but we're not planning on spending very much on this at all.  It is possible to have a RD on the cheap.  You could also check into local pizza places--my MOH did that for hers, and it was fun and not incredibly expensive to get their party room and a bunch of pizza and lasagna. 
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    You should allow your WP to bring their dates to the RD. It's just plain polite and etiquette says they should be invited. I agree with stagemanager, you can do something very simple and still make people happy.
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    tldhtldh member
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    Pick a less expensive venue.  You have to invite significant others.  If it's a single person who is not in a relationship, I wouldn't worry about it, unless there are only a couple of people in your WP who would fall into that category.  There's nothing worse than being the lone single person surrounded by couples.
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    If someone is in a serious relationship (or if you invited them with a date to the wedding), they need to be allowed to bring that person to the rehearsal dinner. 

    What about OOT guests?  What are their dates supposed to do while they're at your rehearsal dinner?
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    Very wrong to not include guests. These people are putting in a lot of money and time to your wedding. You need to invite their guests. It is very rude and bad etiquette not to do so. Personally I probably would decline the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner invitation if my husband was not invited.

    If you were in a wedding and invited to dinner but your wife was not, how would you feel about that?

    Maybe there is somewhere else you can cut back to afford everyone.
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    edited July 2010
    Ditto PPs.  You ned to invite the SOs of your wedding party.  We had around 40-45 people at our RD.

    EDIT:  By ned, I obviously meant need. :)
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    Okay, cool.  I just wanted to make sure.  I counted the OOT people (only OOT people are family who were counted already) 
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    Yes, you need to invite them. It would be very rude not to.
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    You can definitely do it for cheap.  Our rehearsal lunch had about 35 people, it cost right around $200 because we got the food from an Italian fast food joint and just picked up some 2-liters of soda at Vons.  The night before the wedding, we got about $90 worth of pizza and beer for 25 people.  It doesn't have to be fancy, but you do need to invite the dates.
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    The in-laws bought us Qdoba catering!  Yummy!  We had about 50 people at ours.
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    Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
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    Thanks for asking this question, I hadn't thought of it but before now and I'm glad I read these responses :-)
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