To Name or Not To Name (MOH & BM)

WishingBride2010

Ok I  need some advice from my fellow wedded-to-be's.

FIrst off, I just got engaged last night!!!!!!  My fiance and I were discussing the wedding party options tonight and he asked me if it was "proper" to not choose a MOH and Best Man.  Since I have no clue what the etiquette rules say, I'm reaching out for your help.  Is this ok to do?  We would have bridesmaids and groomsmen but do we have to choose someone to be at the "top" of our lists?

gottahavashorti

It's fine not to have a MOH or BM.

jagore08

I think it's perfectly fine to not have a MOH or BM.  DH didn't have a BM because his four friends are really close with him and he couldn't choose just one.  When it came time to give toats, all of the groomsmen ended up surprising us and all do a toast together.

banana468

It's fine not to have a MOH or BM.  A friend of mine did this exact thing. 

mbcdefg

That's fine.

It's also fine to have a Best Man but no MOH ... it's also fine to have a MOH but no Best Man.

And if you *just* got engaged (congrats!), then I would wait a while to pick a wedding party anyway. Worry about getting your ceremony and reception venues booked (and therefore having a concrete date set), and then pick a wedding party about 10 months away from your wedding.

mrsamyjones

First off...do NOT ask any of your bridal party before you are at least only 6 months away from your wedding...Trust me on this one...you can play around with the idea in your head, but keep it there until you're closer to the wedding. There are so many things that can happen between now and then...if you dont believe me, just read the hundreds of posts on the Wedding Party or Ettiquette boards on girls trying to "fire" or alter their wedding party because they asked too soon and things happend.

Back to your question...it's fine to not have a MOH or a Best man...really the only distinction that a MOH or BM have is that they usually are the ones that sign as witnesses on your marriage certificate

laurening

FI is having a best man, but I'm not having a MOH. I have three very good friends who are all equally important to me so I don't want to even try and pick a MOH.

liashke

FI is having a Best Man, but I'm not having a MOH.  Not a problem.   I can't pick among my four and I think it sounds silly to have all or mostly MOHs, so they all get to be BMs.

kaitm22

My fiance and I are not having them either. He didnt want to choose between his brothers, and my friend that I would have picked will be studying abroad so that wont be happening. I would just make sure that you make it clear that you are not having these particular roles otherwise people may try to push their way in to them, as is happening in our bridal party.