Bridesmaid Pashminas

klensing

Hi Ladies!

I was wondering if anybody had suggetions on where to get apple green pashmina scarves for my bridesmaids.

Thanks!

amber2123

http://www.scarfworld.com/online_store/light_weight_pashmina_apple_green.cfm

http://www.shoestation.com/Pashmina/Pashmina-SILKY-SOLID-SCARF-IS0015-Apple-Green/PAMPAAMKPMCJLMHI/3165-6074/Product

http://www.nywholesalescarves.com/solid-pashmina-ii-c-316/apple-green-pashimina-8151-p-1991?zenid=rk2mimufani542jsp41bhctag3

marissa_claire

Please tell me you're not getting them because your wedding colors are apple green...

filaw

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-pashminas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:0f800496-11ce-4dac-bf9b-3dc4aac3caaaPost:fb90b22a-1e93-4526-9856-4822d8c42412">Re: Bridesmaid Pashminas</a>:
[QUOTE]Please tell me you're not getting them because your wedding colors are apple green...
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]

<div>Why not.  There's nothing wrong with providing matching shawls/sweaters/etc for the bridesmaids.  In fact, I wish I had thought of it.</div>

marissa_claire

It's only okay if she's making it part of their attire and not part of their gift.  It should definitely not be their gift.  And if she is making it part of their attire, then she needs to pay for it or keep it as part of the total budget they gave her.  

Brycedance

I actually like the idea of giving Pashminas as a bridesmaids gift - its something that certainly can be used again and that isn't expected.  I may do the same in Ivory or light gray - thanks for the idea

marissa_claire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-pashminas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:0f800496-11ce-4dac-bf9b-3dc4aac3caaaPost:2470e5e7-eab7-4159-ab33-d477203408e2">Re: Bridesmaid Pashminas</a>:
[QUOTE]I actually like the idea of giving Pashminas as a bridesmaids gift - its something that certainly can be used again and that isn't expected.  I may do the same in Ivory or light gray - thanks for the idea :)
Posted by Brycedance[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah not sure people are getting the basic idea. </div><div>
</div><div>It is NOT okay to get your bridesmaids something with the intent of them wearing it on the wedding day and call it their gift.  Their thank you gift should be something that has nothing to do with the wedding.  If you want to get them that, fine, but don't call it their gift.  Don't act like you're being super generous when you're giving them something to fill out your vision.  The bridesmaid gift should be say "thank you for spending money and taking time off work and dealing with headaches to be here." </div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

banana468

Marissa is correct.

Giving pashminas if your BMs are the pashmina type is fine.  But they need to be things that you would think of giving your BMs to use after the wedding.  So if your BM isn't an apple green girl then an apple green pashmina isn't a gift to her.

It's fine to give pashminas as accessories that they'll wear.  They just can't be the BMs' gift if you require that they use it for the wedding.

aerinpegadrak

I bought our groomswoman a pashmina off eBay.  I ordered it too late for it to arrive in time for the wedding, so she wore my grandmother's rabbit fur stole instead. 

It wasn't part of her gift, though.  I wanted her in a white wrap to coordinate with the groomsmen, so I bought one.  Her gift was an entirely separate consideration.

cldete3

@Marissa
Whether you are right or not....I think you may have jumped to a conclusion assuming it was going to be part of the gift.  And the way you made your statement came off a bit rude....just saying.

Side note...apparently in every wedding I have been in the bride was incorrect in her gift giving because I have received several wedding related gifts that of course were usable for other occasions as well.  And I was very much appreciative and thankful for those gifts at the time and too this day. 

banana468

cldete, please understand that from an etiquette perspective a gift should never have strings attached.

It's one thing if the gift COULD be used during the wedding.  It's another if the gift is given with the provision that it BE used during the wedding.  Then it ceases being a gift and becomes a bride-purchased wedding attire item.

marissa_claire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-pashminas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:0f800496-11ce-4dac-bf9b-3dc4aac3caaaPost:4fd9f8e1-e359-4d4d-8e9b-f2f284d97038">Re: Bridesmaid Pashminas</a>:
[QUOTE]@Marissa Whether you are right or not....I think you may have jumped to a conclusion assuming it was going to be part of the gift.  And the way you made your statement came off a bit rude....just saying. Side note...apparently in every wedding I have been in the bride was incorrect in her gift giving because I have received several wedding related gifts that of course were usable for other occasions as well.  And I was very much appreciative and thankful for those gifts at the time and too this day. 
Posted by cldete3[/QUOTE]

<div>I gave both scenarios above.  I gave her the 411 on if she is making it a gift and if she's just making it part of their attire. </div><div>
</div><div>Lurk a little more.  Some things come off harsher in words than they would if we were having a face to face conversation.  And I explained further rationale behind it because often time newbies come back and say "I don't see what the big deal is."  </div>

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-pashminas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:0f800496-11ce-4dac-bf9b-3dc4aac3caaaPost:4fd9f8e1-e359-4d4d-8e9b-f2f284d97038">Re: Bridesmaid Pashminas</a>:
[QUOTE] Side note...apparently in every wedding I have been in the bride was incorrect in her gift giving because I have received several wedding related gifts that of course were usable for other occasions as well.  And I was very much appreciative and thankful for those gifts at the time and too this day. 
Posted by cldete3[/QUOTE]
1.  Yes, the brides were wrong to give BMs things to be used at the wedding and call them gifts.  Giving a BM something to wear or use during YOUR wedding isn't a gift to them, it's a gift to YOU.  Go ahead and give them pashminas, jewelry, whatever to make them matchy-matchy if that's your style, but it's not really a gift to them so you should give them something for their gift that has nothing to do with the wedding.<div>
</div><div>2.  It would be wrong for a BM to not be appreciative of the gift under any circumstances.  But these are your nearest and dearest who have committed a great deal of time and money to YOUR wedding.  The least you can do is give them the best gift you can under the circumstances.  It doesn't have to be expensive or extravagant, but it does need to be given with their interests in mind, just like any other time you give them a gift.</div>

cldete3

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-pashminas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:0f800496-11ce-4dac-bf9b-3dc4aac3caaaPost:840d948e-ee07-4c97-846a-5f4e0896634b">Re: Bridesmaid Pashminas</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid Pashminas : I gave both scenarios above.  I gave her the 411 on if she is making it a gift and if she's just making it part of their attire.  Lurk a little more.  Some things come off harsher in words than they would if we were having a face to face conversation.  And I explained further rationale behind it because often time newbies come back and say "I don't see what the big deal is."  
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]
 
And now you are being rude towards me because I am new to the boards? Wow!  I thought the purpose of community message boards was to be able to openly discuss ideas and to ask questions of those going through the same situations as themselves.  You may be a holder of the wedding etiquette handbook but you may need to do some research on how to respect others!

bablingbrooke

I think what marie was saying is that every message board has its own tone.  That goes for this board and any other you see on the internet.  It's a very basic netiquette to sort of lurk (read but not post) for awhile before asking a question or giving advice to 1) see the tone, 2) see if others have asked your question already, and 3) get a feel for the other people on it.  This is true both on and off TK. 

I think she was just saying that the tone can be a bit surprising at first (read: blunt) but that the advice is helpful.  Like any other message board about any other topic on any other site, it is kind of rude to come to one and insult the long-term posters and lecture them for their tone and the way they have been posting since long before you came.  I don't barge into your house and insult the things I don't like, you don't do that to me.  Same basic principle.

banana468

Cldete, I honestly don't think anyone is being rude here.

People are just having an open and frank discussion on what is and isn't appropriate.  Please understand that asking you to lurk a bit more will help you gain an understanding of the tone of international boards and how many respond.

Within that saying, "You need to do some research on how to respect others" isn't necessary.  People are explaining why things are being said.  Please don't take it personally.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-pashminas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:0f800496-11ce-4dac-bf9b-3dc4aac3caaaPost:e0a9c864-8080-4b1b-8dd8-0eb3e4426c58">Re: Bridesmaid Pashminas</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid Pashminas :   And now you are being rude towards me because I am new to the boards? Wow!  I thought the purpose of community message boards was to be able to openly discuss ideas and to ask questions of those going through the same situations as themselves.  You may be a holder of the wedding etiquette handbook but you may need to do some research on how to respect others!
Posted by cldete3[/QUOTE]

Marissa isn't being rude - she's explaining.  Again, things sometimes come off a little more harshly in written word than it would be when spoken.

Unforunately (or fortunately) this message board is also a community, meaning there are people who have been here a long time and chat with each other and there are others who simply flit in and out wanting some answers.

The "lurk a little more" and "newbie" comments are just meant to introduce you to the idea that many people have been here awhile and know the ropes.  Much like starting a new job, you wouldn't just walk in and start expecting things to be done the way you think it should be - you have to learn how things are actually are.

Some people will tell you the girls here offers answers that are blunt, but I'm sure most will tell you that the advice is straightforward, honest, and incredibly helpful.  Don't let the wrapping distract you from the substance.

With that said, do indeed stick around!  The more the merrier!

cldete3

I didn't come here with the intentions to stir things up. I do dislike the "tone" of this message board so I won't be back.  Happy planning and best wishes to everyone!

bablingbrooke

Sorry you feel that way!  I think if you gave it a chance you'd quite like it.  Most people do.  Come back if you change your mind.

aerinpegadrak

Sorry, cldete, the only one being rude here is you.

AdeleDazeem

oh, mother fleeping god... http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2011-weddings_mean-girls

filaw

I too found marissa's initial comment unhelpful.  From my experience here, *I* was able to assume that she was probably objecting the bride wanting to find pashmina's for her bridesmaids because she was afraid that they would be part of the "gift" for them and the only gift for them.

However, no where did Marissa say in her first point that she was assuming this and that this is what she was hoping the bride was not planning to do.  So there was no way for the OP to understand where the objection is coming from.  If one reads the post at face value, it sounds like she thinks the bride shouldn't buy pashminas, or that she thinks the color apple green is somehow objectionable.  It doesn't say, just checking, this isn't intended as *the* gift for them, is it?  Please be sure to give them some nice personal present that is not wedding themed as well.  Which would have given the OP the info she needed to understand the post.  

frogurt814

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-pashminas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:0f800496-11ce-4dac-bf9b-3dc4aac3caaaPost:5e212884-9b22-4a4c-9e91-5bb5916c24ad">Re: Bridesmaid Pashminas</a>:
[QUOTE]oh, mother fleeping god... <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2011-weddings_mean-girls" rel="nofollow">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2011-weddings_mean-girls</a>
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]
I guess she deleted pretty quickly?

tiffthompson08

I'm using pashminas for decorations as well as favors. I googled "Wholesale Pashminas" and found some for as little as four dollars apiece in every color you can imagine. If you're buying lots, I'd go that route. 

As for the rest of you ladies, I don't think it's good etiquette to argue on someone else's question board when all she wanted was simple advice. For shame. 

mbcdefg

I got green pashminas for my BMs from a store called Le Chateau. I got them other, personal gifts ... the pashminas were more of a "favor" so they didn't need to get their own wraps for my wedding.

Street vendors in NYC sell them for about $5, so IDK if you have a big city near you that does this.

It's really ridiculous that this thread turned into all this.

klensing

I had no idea all this was going on!  A little clarification.  Yes, I was figuring that the pashminas would be a SMALL portion of the overall budget for their gifts (hence me trying to find inexpensive pashminas online so they would be just a tiny part).  I am also giving them all slate gray, handmade clutches from Etsy in hopes that they will use it the day of the wedding, but choosing that color so they can use it again as a token of appreciation.  Either way, both of those things amount to about 1/4 of what I was planning on spending on their gifts.  I would give any one of them the same thing for a birthday (some of them have given me pashminas in varities of colors as a gift before actually).  However, I am still planning on using the majority of their gift budget to buy them something personal UNwedding related!  Thanks to those of you who came to my defense, thanks to those of you trying to clarify the etiquette issues attached, and thanks to the original person that simply posted places to find them!  All very much appreciated.  I ended up ordering them off of Amazon so I can return them if I don't like the color/material.

filaw

I'm glad you found what you needed.  Hope they work out!

banana468

BTW, I forgot to mention that I found some on Overstock.