how would you feel

daphny32

one of my bms....a very close college friend, recently hooked up with someone a couple of months ago. ever since they have been attatched at the hip and im happy for her but i feel that she is not focused... her priorities are all messed up. she is not taking care of her responsibilities as a friend or a family member according to her mother. a month before my wedding she sends me a TEXT MESSAGE telling me she hasnt been working much and will not be able to attend the wedding at all...she didnt apologize or anything. i later found out another friend forced her to tell me because she was trying to delay telling me for whatever reason. Her dress was already ordered and is waiting for her to get alterations done and pick up, but she apparently has no money to do that. i simply text her back and said OK....after that i have not heard from her....a couple of days ago she started to call me and leave me messages stating that she wants to speak with me about the wedding. other members of the bridal party think i should speak to her. it seems that she may apparently be trying to make it now...i get married in 8 days...i have so many other things to do and be worried about. i am not ready to talk to her or deal with this situation..what would you do?

btw excuse any spelling or grammer mistakes im just really a mess at this poing

stina93446

You should call her. Gettin info second hand is only going to give you shaky information. 

duckie1905

You should call her before falling apart.  Her mother may not know everything or have incorrect info.  Don't assume anything until you hear it from her directly.

emilyinchile

How would I feel? I'd be hurt and upset that one of my best friends told me via text that she was dropping out of my wedding, of course. But what would I do? I'd call her! Because maybe she's realized it was a mistake, or maybe she still doesn't feel like she can be in the wedding but wants to explain herself better, or one of about a million other maybes that you'll never know unless you talk to her.

If she's a good enough friend to be a BM, I wouldn't miss out on the chance to hear what's going on with her, especially if you are genuinely concerned about how she's been acting in general lately.

MyNameIsNot

I would call her.  Honestly, I'd be worried about a friend if she was behaving this way.  

I sure wouldn't ignore her and throw out a good friendship over this.  

daphny32

megan that was refreshing! thank you....every one keeps saying to call but im just not ready...

emilyinchile

8 people tell you to treat her as a friend first and a BM second and actually call to find out if she's ok (which, based on her recent behavior, she might not be), 1 person says "screw her, it's your day!" and you go with that ONE person's advice?

Look, I had an 8.8 earthquake happen the week before my wedding, so I get pre-wedding stress. You don't have it. You have "I'm so busy, and my friend is making my life a bit more difficult, woe is me." CALL HER.