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Wedding Party

Anyone had friends upset not to be bridesmaids?

So it seems like a lot of people have a similar problem to me approaching but I was just wondering if anyone has actually gone through it yet...I am only having 1 group of friends as bridesmaids and I am thinking that a few of my other girlfriends would've liked to be bridesmaids (but maybe not..) Anyways, just wondering if anyone has experienced a friend who was upset about not being a part of the bridal party and how it all went down.

Re: Anyone had friends upset not to be bridesmaids?

  • If they were they didn't say anything. I asked the "usual suspects" so I'd be really surprised if anyone was upset.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • BTW, even if they ARE upset, you don't sit them down and say "here's why you aren't a BM." Just say you picked who you picked, sorry they're hurt, and tell them how much you look forward to seeing them AT the wedding.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • Thanks! That is some really good advice! My mom kept telling me I needed to talk to one of my friends that is not a bridesmaid and tell her why she isn't but I kept thinking, "how awful!" (for me and for her). So thanks, your advice makes me feel better about my approach to it.
  • My BMs are the friends I've been friends with the longest - all more than 15 yrs. I refer to them collectively as "the girls." They don't live in town with me, and as a result haven't done any of the wedding-related shopping I've been doing recently. Instead, a couple local girls with whom I've become really close over the last year have been dress shopping, gone to the bridal show, want to do makeup trials with me, etc. They've offered and I've accepted - I didn't recruit them. They do give me a hard time about the fact that they're doing this stuff with me but they aren't "the girls" and "aren't even bridesmaids!" I just tell them that I love them, appreciate them, and am really lucky they're willing to help me out so much. So, I think they may be a little upset. I don't know that there's anything I can do about it, but I'll probably get them both little thank you gifts to show my appreciation and make sure to mention them when we do toasts at the welcome dinner or reception.
  • I have a "friend" who is BSC. I told her point blank I was keeping the WP "strictly family" to "avoid hurting anybody else's feelings by leaving them out". Translation: I did not want to ask my other friends and make HER feel bad when I did not ask her too.She tried to invite herself along for gown shopping, and when I finally told her I picked a dress for my BMs, she then kept trying to talk me into taking her "shopping around" because I might "change my mind". All of which, I kept politely responding that I really wasn't in need of her assistance. At one point she actually texted me to tell me that she CALLED David's Bridal and set up and appointment so she could go "try things on" for me to help "give me ideas". Again, all AFTER I picked out and ORDERED my dresses.When she finally backed off the dress issue, she then came up with the brilliant idea of offering to "babysit" FI the night before the wedding and the day of leading up to the ceremony, and have him stay at her house (With her husband) and everything.I basically kept coming here for advice, bean dipped the crap out of her whenever the wedding was brought up, and for the most part avoid her in general right now. The wedding's in 3 months, she's invited (Her husband actually is a good, sane friend of ours, so its not like I can totally cut her out of my life), so if it gets ugly, I'm sure I will be back here again for further instructions.The one thing I just kept saying, and it IS perfectly acceptable to say to anybody is "Well, we just couldn't ask EVERYBODY". Its simple, its the truth, and honestly, unless your friends are total jerks, they aren't going to press the issue from there. And if they do press it, just keep repeating that you simply could not ask everybody.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • I had a friend the other day tell me that she can't wait to be a part of my wedding. Funny thing is, she's not. She's a great friend and i want her AT my wedding, just not IN my wedding. You know, you can't choose everyone and you just have to pick those people you know will be there for you, smile and do  what ever you need to make YOUR day the best it can be!! If your friends become upset, let them and just try to explain it the best you can!! If they're not going to be understanding well that's their problem NOT YOURS!! :) Do what you want, it's YOUR wedding!! :) Good luck!!
  • bean dipped the crap out of her whenever the wedding was brought upThis made me LOL!

  • Ziti- it was the only way, lol.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
    image

    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • I have a friend I suspected might be upset - we're not horribly close but she seemed to hint a few times that she wanted to be a BM. I toyed with the idea of asking her to prevent hurting her feelings, but in the end I decided that that wasn't the right reason to ask her. This was about 4 months ago. To my knowledge, she's not upset with me at all about this. If she is, she's hiding it well.
    image
  • I had a "friend" tell me and FI that if she wasn't in the wedding, or MOH for that matter, that I would be walking down the aisle in a wheeelchair. Nice, huh?
  • I had a "friend" tell me and FI that if she wasn't in the wedding, or MOH for that matter, that I would be walking down the aisle in a wheeelchair And she wonders why you didn't ask her...
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • And she wonders why you didn't ask her... I know. Crazy. We haven't had many conversations after that one.
  • No bad reactions yet I have been in the position of "not being picked" the bride only picked college friends/sorority sisters...her high school friends were a little upset but never said anything to her face -- it actually worked out better that way b/c we still went to the bachelorette party & the bridal shower, but not all the drama/$$ of being in the actual wedding.
    Photobucket
  • Thanks, these have all been really interesting. My situation is kind of like the pp. Except I chose college friends (since I am closer to them and they are less drama for me) and I am worried about my high school friends being upset but...it was hard to pick and obviously I still want them there and to be involved. Glad I am not the only one to experience this...
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