Simple really *is* best.

CTGirl30

So I have just begun asking my friends to be in the BP and asked the first person last night. After literally weeks of pondering how I should do it and making myself crazy with ideas of going back through old photo albums / scanning old pictures / creating a mini photobook / writing a poem / doing something "creative" I decided simplest is best. (This coincides with my new mantra of eliminating all crazy-making ideas / plans etc from my wedding-planning process and elminating unecessary sources of potential stress).We were out to dinner  - just the two of us - and I just asked her. Plain and simple. There was plenty of excitement and hugging that ensued, regardless.Everyone was right on here - the honor / sentiment is really in the asking itself - you do not need to stress yourself over additional details like cards / treasure hunts / photo collages / skywritten messages. ;-) (Ok, being a little dramatic on the last one there, but you get my point).

meggs2311

Wow, I didn't realize that you were supposed to make a production about everything wedding.  I am just asking people privately.  Although my BM know who they are already since my FI and I have been together for 7.5 years and will be together for 8.5 before we get married.  Once I got engaged things just started rolling and the WP was pretty set anyway.

CTGirl30

Some brides think you need to make a production out of everything. You don't. If you want to do more elaborate things like make cards or whatever, then that's great, too (not knocking anyone's choices if they decide to do that). However, it was all making me a little too stressy and I had to remind myself that I didn't need to go all crazy tyring to come up with ideas when all I had to do was ask my friends in a heartfelt manner and it would still be just as special. Takes the (unnecessary) pressure off.

bablingbrooke

CT, if you approach everything about your wedding this way, you're in for smooth sailing Whodathunk the advice on here might be right one in awhile?

trix1223

CT-thanks for your post. It's nice to hear that someone has figured out what several of us say over and over and over might just be right! I'm glad you had a great experience with your friend. And ditto brooke: keep this approach in mind when planning your wedding, and you'll be scratching you head saying "Where exactly IS that stress that everyone keeps moaning about?"

bablingbrooke

DH and I abided by the One Day Rule, which I think you'll find equally helpful: If something won't matter One Day after the wedding, we didn't get to stress over it and, in most cases, let someone else plan it. So glad we did that! Nothing that the wedding industrial complex thinks you need to stress about is worth it. 90% of the wedding was planned by our parents, who paid for it so we gave them free reign. The only regret we have is that we didn't hand over the other 10% for them to plan. It's great--you're basically a guest at your own wedding. And if something doesn't go exactly according to plan, you have no idea. For all I know the cake was a total disaster and looked nothing like it was supposed to, but having just seen the final product I thought it looked great. Neither of us focused on the details and just focused on having fun. By extension, all our guests had fun too

Julia O'Brien

woah, people actually ask their BP like that? I just flat out asked them.

ffmaid

OP- sounds great ! Congrats on being a good friend Although who doesn;t like sky written BM messages

jeannigirl

I'm all about not stressing on stuff. I am looking at Venues right now and been talking with photographers. I have had Vendors/Venues tell me that I need to book with them has their calendar is filling fast. It could be true but 90% of it is just to get you to book with them and give them a deposit. I look at it this way that I'm not going to feel pressured to book someone until I get a chance to talk with several different photographers in a face to face.

megk8oz

Yay! Somebody who actually gets what its supposed to be about!FI and I "semi-failed" on asking our BP. We're both very casual and so are our nearest and dearest. I have 2 sisters and a brother, FI has a sister and 2 really close friends that are practically brothers to him (They are our entire BP).  I came onto this board and at first felt like such a jerk that we didn't do anything cute or even take people to dinner ... or even really ASK for that matter.FI's sister was the only one who really got "asked". And pretty much one night when we were hanging out w/her, we were talking about the wedding, and we just at one point said "Speaking of the wedding,we honestly would love it if you would be in our BP". And she said "Of course" got all giddy with us. And that was that.Everybody else, pretty much once we got engaged, it was very "You know we're asking you", and they all pretty much said "Duh!" ... and then it was a done deal. No actual asking occured.So while you still at least asked, its nice to see that I didn't totally screw up because I didn't throw a party or make little gift boxes or give cards or something.

megan1381

Finally some down to earth people! If you have to go through all the dramatics to ask someone, are they REALLY that close to you? The only one I actually flat out asked was my FSIL. She cried, and alot of hugging occured. But, as I told her, I want to build our relationship because she will be my sister soon. We were not close friends when FI and I got engaged, just aquaintences. Now, she is like true family to me, the way it ought to be.