Asking FI's sister- Yikes!

jeanacorina

Hey everybody! FI and I have pretty much always known who would be in our WP. My cousin is my maid of honor, my sister will be a bridesmaid. His best friend will be his best man, and his brother will be a groomsman. Our mutual friend will be officiating (and that was about 10 minutes of laughter when we asked him-- then we said "No, but really, will you?" and he said "Oh! You're serious! Okay, yeah!" lol)Then, I have a brother and he has a sister. We're going to include them, too... but it seems that each of us is jittery over asking the other's sibling to be part of our WP. I know we could do mixed-gender, but we don't care to. I feel like this might be a good way to get to know his sister, anyway.But... how do I lead into that conversation? We've spoken a few times and she's been fairly polite to me. It's not like she a complete stranger, but I don't know her THAT well. I keep wanting to send an email or a text, but I feel like that's too impersonal. I don't want FI to ask his sister to be on my side, because I really DO want to ask... just not sure how to break the ice. What would you do?

mbcdefg

When's your wedding? If it's more than 10 months away, I'd wait a little while. When the time comes, I would visit her (or call if you live far away) and say, "FSIL, FI and I would both love it if you would like to participate in our wedding. Would you like to be a bridesmaid?" If she accepts, then be sure to ask her for her dress budget before you start looking for BM dresses, so that there's no problems later on. And if you expect more from your BMs than to get the dress and participate in the ceremony, then at least be upfront with her about your expecations before things get rolling, so that she knows what you want from her (and can decline if she feels like it's too much).

bablingbrooke

Why not get to know her a little better before you ask her? Ask her out for coffee or dinner or something. Then once you feel a little more comfortable around her, ask her.

ffmaid

Just call her up and ask she will very likely be thrilled and flattered. No production needed just call and say hi well you know I am getting married to your brother and looking forward to your being my sister in law and want you to be a bridesmaid . Will you please be a bridesmaid in our wedding?" Not too hard at all

jeanacorina

Our wedding is in June, so it's about time to get this bridesmaid ball rolling. :)Thanks for the suggestions. I do feel a little better now. I have never called her before, usually we see each other when we visit FI's family (she lives with her parents) or occasionally we'll stop in when we drive by where she works.I really do think she and I can be very good friends, but there's a weird vibe between her and her mom when I'm around... like I'm a third wheel. I pretty much just brush it off and don't force things, and hope that the vibe will go away as they get to know me. But either FSIL or FMIL is very nice without the other around. They're very close to each other... so maybe they think I want to butt in.Well, that doesn't have a lot to do with the subject at hand, I guess I just needed a little vent. I'm nervous about FI's family because they're a lot different than mine and I worry that how I say things (like asking FSIL to be my bridesmaid) will be misunderstood or dissected and they'll think I'm a crazy person because I said xyz instead of zyx (it's happened).But I do like the idea of FI and I taking her out to lunch or something one day. Maybe we'll do that. That seems casual enough.

jeannigirl

You and FI taking her to lunch is pretty casual then the dinner hr. Just do that and ask her. Set something up with her.