Overseas MOH?

sunflowerbride5

Hi all,Looking for some advice on a long-distance MOH. My little sister is my MOH, she is currently overseas in the military and will be until our wedding. We have always talked about being a part of each other' wedding so are bummed to be so far apart during this time! I know that she had planned on throwing me a bachelorette until she found out her overseas station. That's not possible now, but I'd still like to have one (for the experience, not the gifts!). I've gathered from reading on here that it would be extremely rude to ask my other bridesmaids to throw one, and that it be equally tacky to throw one for myself. Should I just wait for another BM or friend to ask if I'd like one, or skip altogether? My sister thought she might ask the other BM if they would plan in her place, but I'm not sure if that would be rude too? Anyone else in a similar situation?

SarahPLiz

It would be ok for your sister to ask one of the other BM for assistance in planning long distance, but it is not ok for you to ask anyone for a b-party. My MOHs are my sisters, who live in different states and might as well be overseas for the purpose of planning stuff. However, my friends here in town, who are not even in the WP, have offerred to thow my b-party. So in short, if no one offers, then you don't get one.

banana468

The other poster is right. Instead, it's fine to plan a girls' night out. Just don't call itvanythind wedding related.

bablingbrooke

When you get closer to the wedding, plans will emerge. My MOH didn't have anything to do w/ my bach party, the other BMs threw it. But like normal people, they started planning it about 3 months before the wedding and it was held the weekend before. Over a year is a bit early to worry about it. Don't assume it won't happen for you. Odds are the other BMs will do it since your MOH is overseas. But for now, say nothing and stop worrying.

MrsHoward11

I would mention it to your second girl. only thing is that is supposed to be the MOH job so the second girl might feel slighted since she did it and didn't get the title. You might want to have 2 MOH's. That's what my BFF is doing. Her Fiance's BM is in the military and can't bee here for the plans so His brother is throwing his bachelor party and will be the second BM.

tidetravel

If grown adults are petty enough to not throw you a party because it wasn't in their "job description" then you need to seriously reconsider your friends. Don't "promote" another MOH just so you can have a b-party.

mbcdefg

Let them work it out amongst themselves. Your MOH can get in touch with the other BMs if she wants. Don't get involved and definitely don't "promote" someone else. It's not the MOH's job to throw a bachelorette or shower. In some circles it's traditional for her to do so, but anyone who would like to throw you a party can do so. And if that's no one, then you don't get those parties. But if a BM or a friend not in the wedding wants to throw you a party, she can certainly do so.

[Deleted User]

If grown adults are petty enough to not throw you a party because it wasn't in their "job description" then you need to seriously reconsider your friends. Don't "promote" another MOH just so you can have a b-party. Agree with this 100%. Just have a girls night as Banana suggested, no need for penis glasses and necklaces to have a good time, I would rather skip that part myself. PS gifts? I don't really consider it a gift giving event. Hmmmm.

sunflowerbride5

Thanks for the advice! I'm sure it will work itself out by next June, and it probably is a little early to worry - I'm just a planner and like to have things figured out! I probably wouldn't have another MOH because I want that special title to be reserved for my sister, whether she can be here or not. As for gifts, all the ones I've gone to have involved giving some kind of sexy lingerie or something naughty for the 'honeymoon' - not sure if that's the norm or just my circle of friends! Most of it is pretty cheesy stuff I could do without

lyndausvi

I hosted a B-party once and I was not even in the WP. Point is anyone can throw you a b-party.  I would *hope* the other BM and/or friends know your sister is overseas and 'take over' the planning. I know I would if I was in your WP or just a friend.

MrsHoward11

totally agree Lyn! I'd hope they'd step up and do it! Totally understand that you want your sis to have the title. You've still got a few months. I've heard of gifts at B-parties. We got my bff a lot of really dirty gifts.