Man of Honor or groomsman?

Perkyanda

My wedding is still a long way off, but my fiance and I have been thinking some about the size of the wedding parties we want, and who to include. My brother will definitely be a part of our wedding party, but we're having trouble deciding whether he'll be a groomsman or my Man of Honor, rather than my having a Maid of Honor. My brother and I are very close, and I feel that I don't have a "best friend" among the girls I'm interested in having in my wedding party-- I don't know whether I'd choose my closest law school friend, undergrad friend, or high school friend as a maid of honor, and having my brother stand on my side would make things easier. Also, my fiance's brother is going to be his best man, so that slot's been taken. My fiance also has no sisters for me to worry about placing. I want my brother to be comfortable in the wedding party-- he said it doesn't matter to him which side he stands on, but I don't know what sort of things the maid of honor usually plans, and I don't want to put him in the place of trying to organize a shower, or a bachlorette party. Is anyone here planning on having/considering a Man of Honor rather than a Maid of Honor? Suggestions?

bablingbrooke

I didn't have one but I know of many people here who did. Why not ask him? He may be happy to do it. You never know until you ask!

bablingbrooke

Also keep in mind MOH doesn't come w/ duties for him to do.

mbcdefg

We asked my brother to be a part of our wedding party. I would've gladly had him on my side, but FI wanted to ask him to be a groomsman. So like you said, just ask him what he wants to do ... and if he honestly doesn't care, then IMO I think he's best suited on your side. A MOH isn't obligated to host a shower or bachelorette for you, so that doesn't mean that as your Honor Attendant he's automatically shouldered with that duty (because it's a gift to you, not something you're owed). If the other BMs or people not in the wedding party want to throw these parties for you, I'm sure they'll approach him and offer to do it. If your brother outright asks you about these parties, give him the other BMs' contact info and invite him to talk it out with them.

Leah&Christian09

I know you said you were, but it is a really good idea to wait until about 9 months before the wedding before you start asking anyone to be in your WP. Relationships change, people drift apart. If you're just starting your career, there will probably be people that come into your life and quickly become close friends, and there will be people that drift apart. You'll save a lot of headache if you wait to ask. Anyway, I think having your brother as your MOH is a great idea. Your MOH should be your closest friend, and if he's it, that's great. As far as planning, WP only plans events or helps with the wedding if they volunteer to. One or some of your other BMs will probably offer to do your shower or b-party.

leeshab1982

I think having your brother on your side as your MOH would be fine.  I wouldn't worry about showers or parties or anything like that.  I'm sure that'll all come together between all of the people in your wedding party and family.