Wedding Party

Well, I know somebody who will hate us

So I just had lunch with a good friend of mine. Love this girl to death, actually would have probably asked her to be a BM if I didn't go the "family only" route to avoid hurting feelings (She's been one of my "bff's" since I was 12). She recently got engaged and with my wedding getting closer, she LOVES "talking shop".So we were talking about BMs and things like that. She said she knows she's already picking her and her FI's sister, and she already has friends in mind (But she has not asked anybody yet) ... but the wedding is at least 2 years away at this point. So I started off by saying "Seriously, you have plenty of time to pick people, and you only need like 4-6 months to get dresses, so don't ask anybody until you're closer to that point in time". And she seemed to "get" that. And I also said that one of the really awesome perks to "keeping it small", is it's a lot easier to coordinate schedules if you wanna get people together to buy the dress or something.So she says "Yeah, you're right ... I already know I'm going to have problems, cuz you know I'm going to just ask so many people ... but it's ok, if they don't show up at something, they're just getting kicked out then. I don't need to deal with that".In an attempt to "regroup". I tried to say "Well, you know, it shouldn't be too hard, just don't ask people to do a lot. Like, with my girls, I've been very 'just get the dress and show up wearing it' ... it's made my life so much easier. I'd be ripping my hair out if I tried to micro-manage".Then she says "Oh, you know me, I'm not real demanding (actually, she REALLY isn't, she genuinely is a sweet, laid-back person) ... but everybody that's in it BETTER be prepared to spend money to take dance lessons, because my BP is going to do the "Thriller" dance ... my wedding isn't going to be 'sappy' it's going to be fun!"So, since I didn't want to touch that with a 10 foot pole, I just said "Just make sure when you guys get deeper into the planning that you come to TK for help. They may not always tell you what you want to hear, but they give great advice!"

If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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"Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar

Re: Well, I know somebody who will hate us

  • Send her here. We'll straighten her out.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • I think you handled that very diplomatically.
  • she seriously needs US, and to be told to stop watching Bridezillas.  One only hopes that as she gets closer to her wedding, she will be set straight.  Quickly, send her here.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • Like, its just weird to hear her say things like that because she really normally is laid-back about things ... so it's really bizarre. Although, the guy she's marrying I could totally peg as a groomzilla, so this might be stemming from her already preparing to deal with what HE'S going to say on certain matters (I really wouldn't be shocked if Thriller or the "if they don't show up, they're out" were his ideas).She really is a sweet person ... but I know that she's going to hate what people have to say to her here.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • lol that makes me think of my FI. He said he wanted the entire bridal party to do the thriller dance. I told him he had to ask every single person and if any of them didn't agree, he couldn't do. They all agreed...I was shocked. Then I told him he had to plan out teaching them it (since none of us know it) including calling everyone to get a schedule, then learning it himself, and teaching it....he quickly dropped the idea.
  • so she hasnt asked anyone yet? If she asks you will you to be a bm will you say yes?
  • Ugh, wedding party dances.  Now, at my sister's wedding, the groomsmen all dressed up as the Village People and danced to the YMCA.  It was entertaining as hell, but our reaction wasn't so much "Wow, they're such great dancers!" as "Wow, the groomsmen are making complete azzes of themselves for our amusement!"  Somehow, I doubt this is what most brides are going for.You should tell your friend that the weddings that are the most fun are the truly spontaneous ones, not the ones with a lot of choreographed "fun" moments.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • Lissa, I'm really not sure if she will ask me. Again, we've been really good friends for a really long time, but in the past few years, there was (Still kind of is) a lot of tension between her FI, me, and my FI. Right before FI and I got engaged there was a bit of a falling out, and there was a long period of time when none of us spoke. But then after a while, she and I managed to work things out so we could still maintain a goof friendship and sorta just leave the guys out of it.Anyway, as I said (And she will be one of the first people to admit this), her FI is very likely to be a groomzilla (He's one of those anal-retentive perfectionists) ... and I could easily see him making a rule that the BP MUST be somebody that they BOTH are incredibly close with. I've since gotten to a place where FI and I are civil with him, they both were invited to our wedding, we were both invited to their e-party, but we are by no means on "great" terms. I would not be surprised if he outright told her she wasn't allowed to ask me to be a BM.If she does ask me ... I would probably say yes, even knowing that it will be a headache. I do love my friend (She may change her mind about "Thriller" in the next 2 years ... the wedding may be even farther off than that, they really aren't "concrete" on a timeline yet), and while we constantly discuss what BMs are NOT on this board, the one thing we do keep coming back to is that they ARE people that stand up for the bride on her wedding day because they love her. And I am one of those people.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • Aerin, I totally hate the choreographed BP dances. My mom, ever since "they did it on Oprah" has been pushing for me to get the BP together to teach them the "I Gotta Feeling" dance. I keep explaining to her, that aside from my brother and ONE sister (Not even both of them) NOBODY in my BP would want to do it ... and if they DID do it, they wouldn't be happy about it. That's not to say people in my BP aren't "fun" (Well, actually, my older sister ISN'T fun, but not the point, lol), they just don't think being in my wedding constitutes undergoing dance training.In an attempt to get my mom to shut up on the matter, I've already offered to just make the song the first "open dance" of the night. I keep trying to tell her "This way EVERYBODY can be on the dance floor for it". She slowly seems to be coming around ... which if she doesn't, oh well, I've got better things to do at this point than round everybody up to teach them a dance they don't want to do just so my MOM is happy at my reception (I'm pretty sure none of the other guests will give a duck's butt if we do this).

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • but it's ok, if they don't show up at something, they're just getting kicked out then. I don't need to deal with that".I think she must have watched the Bridezillas episode from like 2 weeks ago....because the bride on that did the same exact thing!
  • Oh yeah, and my wedding will be fun because I'm letting my girlfriends be themselves and am not trying to dictate what they do and do not do!
  • My brother was in a wedding where they did the YMCA thing. I didn't go, but I saw the pictures. Maybe it's fun for some people, but I wouldn't want to do it. I don't even like dancing in general, let alone a choreographed group dance. Besides, couldn't someone just learn "Thriller" from watching the video? I wouldn't want to pay for dance lessons. I'm glad you're trying to tastefully let her know not to go overboard.I mean, I'm not planning on a "sappy" wedding either. I don't think anyone really tries to go that route.
    Night swimming in the ocean= pretty sweet reception!
  • my wedding will be fun because I'm letting my girlfriends be themselves and am not trying to dictate what they do and do not do! ^^This is exactly why our wedding WAS fun. The GM decided to have some fun by "borrowing" the DJ's sounds system (with his permission) to lead some traditional Lebanese group dances--think the last part of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" when everyone is dancing in a circle. It got literally *every* person, including my 90 year old grandmother, on the floor dancing. It was AWESOME. We had layers of circles going and eventually the GM lifted me and DH up in chairs and danced us around the middle of the innermost circle. Do you think anything that awesome would have happened had we ordered them to do "Thriller" or "YMCA"?
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • The Thriller dance might actually be a deal breaker for me... I mean, many brides drop that idea before their actual wedding, anyway. And, honestly, I can't imagine any of my friends forcing me to get up in front of people and dance. Especially since I can barely walk on flat surfaces without tripping.Your friend does know that she can have a fun wedding without forcing her friends to learn a choreographed dance, right?Dont' get me wrong, if the entire WP is cool with that, go for it. But I wouldn't want to be forced to learn it.
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  • I'm hoping she drops the idea (Again, MORE than enough time to do so). My BSC friend got married 2 summers ago and I was in the wedding, and she was hell-bent on the BMs (Not even the GMs, JUST the BMs) learning the Soulja Boy dance (Which I did not learn, because, NO). About 2 days before the wedding when she realized there was no time left and her MOH was the only one who bothered to learn the dance, she dropped the issues and just left the song on the playlist.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
    image

    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • i want to know who is the idiot that came up with the idea of choreographed dances at weddings... and who is the moronic friend that convinced them it was a good idea.
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