Do you think this is more common 'now-a-days?"

julndan

Hello Brides to be! May I ask you something? Do you feel it is more common for bridesmaids to back out nowadays AFTER saying yes? Or should I take it personally???

LarissaAnn

Depends on the circs, but I'd bet with the current economy it may very well be more common now - lost jobs, wanting to maintain savings, fear over job insecurity even if they haven't lost them, life expenses that suddenly arise, medical issues, whatever. Life happens and no one sees it coming.

bablingbrooke

Depends on the circumstances. What happened to you? In general, if it's one it could be other reasons. If it's more than one it's very possibly something you did. But that's a generalization and I don't know the facts.

julndan

2 girls-same reasons b/c of pregnancy or (young) children [plural] I understand but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed.......has anyone felt the same?

bablingbrooke

I don't blame you a bit for being disappointed. It's a totally natural reaction. Be upset/mad/disappointed for a couple days then move on. There's nothing else you can really do. One of the girls I asked to be BM had to decline because her husband was coming back from Iraq the same month as our wedding and she didn't want to have to back out at the last minute. I of course understood, but I was definitely bummed for awhile. So you're not alone.

julndan

Thanks, BB. Glad to know I am not alone

LarissaAnn

Yeah, I had one who declined because she had a mom with lots of health issues and her money situation wasn't great. I took it in stride, had one fewer bridesmaid than H had groomsmen, and she came as a guest. We're still very close friends and I love her to bits.

tidetravel

Well, its better that they assess the situation and are honest and up front with you, rather than avoiding you or giving you excuses.  The fact is they may have wanted to be a BM, and had that initial "Of course!" reaction, and then realized later that it just wasn't feasable.  I would be disappointed, but don't take it personally.  (Unless there's some underlying REASON for you to feel guilty - I am assuming you are a nice, normal bride who didn't put any lofty expectations on her BMs and cause them to reconsider the position).  These are the people that you love and care about.  They'll still be there at the wedding as guests, and will be able to celebrate with you then.