Who do I ask?

sandalgal

I'm having some problems thinking about bridesmaids - I just got engaged a few weeks ago and my fiance already has his wedding party picked out. I have my maid of honor - my sister but I am having a problem picking 3 more. Two years ago, I moved away from all my friends to take care of my father and during that time I didn't have much time to make friends and so on where I live now and now that I am getting married - I feel odd asking some of my friends who live so far away to be in the wedding like I might be imposing on them. Should I feel this way or am I just over thinking it? I am sure my friends would love to be in it but I am afraid my choices are going to say no because I am so far away.

Any opinions?

stina93446

First off, congrats on your new engagement.

About your question, you should ask whoever is dearest and closest to you. Regardless of location, if you have a friend in NYC and a friend in Hawaii and you can't imagine getting married without them there, those are the correct people to ask. Who would you call at 3AM to bury a dead body? Your sister is a great choice for MOH.

And BTW, you don't need to have even sides. It's perfectly ok to have uneven sides. So let him have his 3-4 gm. If you only have a MOH, you're still not breaking any rules.

jaimed99

Before you become all engrossed in numbers, just know that you don't need uneven sides, so just because your FI has 4 on his side, doesn't automatically mean that you need 4 on yours. Choose the people that you want. A good gauge that I've heard is choose the people you'd be calling at 3am if you had an emergency or to bail you out of jail

Also, distance doesn't matter...all they have to do is show up. They are not obligated to help plan your wedding, or plan any sort of pre-wedding parties (ie bach/shower) unless they choose to...so don't choose your BP because of that.

sandalgal

Thanks I guess I am just getting all bent out of shape for nothing, I know didn't know that it didn't have to be even! That's good to know - makes it a bit easier

bablingbrooke

First, if you're very newly engaged, don't ask anyone yet.  Wait until you have dates firmly set, and that only happens once you've confirmed and put down deposits for your venues.  DH and I had four different wedding dates at four different times because it was hard to get the ceremony and reception venues at the same time as the officiant.  It's really hard for someone to commit to something when they don't know when or where it is.  Even with lots of notice, sometimes things are out of their control. 

Second, knee-jerk reaction: Who do you want standing next to you when you say your vows? THAT is who your WP should be.

Glad you've embraced the uneven sides doctrine.  You won't regret it