Feeling blue about my choices.

lovely&bones

Hey ladies. I need to vent.

This is going to be a very long story but I have no idea how to shorten it without leaving out important details.

My best friend and I have known each other since we were 14, well, we're almost 24 now and we've had our fair share of rough times. I was diagnosed with skin cancer in August 2009 and she wasn't really there for me. I was so angry, upset and hurt that we sort of had a falling out... well, after I finished chemotherapy in October 2010, we made up again but I didn't really feel as close to her as I did before all of this happened. 

I understand that some people can't handle such emotional situations, so I forgave her and I'm glad that I did because we are back to where we were... 

Well, when we were on off-terms, I had to pick my bridal party. 

I chose my cousin as my MOH (which I don't regret)

My FI's sister (don't regret)

An amazing friend that has been there for everything (don't regret)

Another friend that I don't regret.

And here's my problem.

I also picked 2 other ladies that I'm feeling uneasy about.

One of them has 2 children and the other one works (but only 30 hours a week) 

They haven't done anything for me and when I found dresses on sale at JCPenney for $20 for them to wear (casual wedding) they made ME pay for them and they haven't paid me back. (Which isn't a big deal money wise, but it's not necessarily supposed to be my job to buy their dresses)

Also, they aren't even attempting to come to my bridal shower or bach party. And one of them said she's probably going to miss rehearsal because she doesn't want to have to find a baby sitter for the children. The other one said she might have to come to rehearsal before everyone else is there and leave before we actually DO the rehearsal because she's a bartender and Friday is her busy day.

If they're so busy and can't make these huge days, should I just tell them that I'd love to have them in the wedding but I need maids that are going to be more accessible? 

I really don't care that they won't be there for the shower & bach party but they aren't making an effort to be at the rehearsal and THAT'S a huge deal to me. 

I already paid for their dresses so it's not money out of their pocket. 

And my best friend, the one I talked about in the beginning, has accepted that we were on a falling out when I chose and didn't expect to be in the wedding but now I want her in the wedding. She works 60 hours a week and has actually be there 100 times more than the other two that don't have a job & have a job but only works a little over part time.

I'm sorry that was so long and please don't judge me (and think I'm shallow or harsh)

I really am torn.

Please help