Wedding Party

cinderella+red

I've been engaged for a little while and have thought for a while about my wedding party --- I have two close friends from college that I always said would be bridesmaids and my FSIL will be in the party also.  For a while I thought it would be these three and I would choose one of the college gals to be the MOH.  Both college friends live 3+ hours away (one 2 states away - the other on the entire other side of the country) and will certainly stand by me on the day of and be a thoughtful ear when I call them - ....but I started to realize that I felt the bridal party wasn't complete.  I started to think about who I am close to and who I could picture being part of the festivities....and I realized that one of my closest friends at this stage in life would be the perfect MOH.  I can talk to her about anything, of all the people above she I and actually see eachother the most, she is someone that I can see  being a part of my life for the long haul, she is an excellent advice giver.......

BUT - I originally didn't include her in the list because she has a <1 year old baby and her husband is definately going to be the Best Man.........

I figured it was too much to ask of them as a family - committment wise and monetarily (no we are not planning a massively expensive wedding - but no matter what there are costs involved).

Is it inconsiderate of us to ask both to be in the wedding?  Should I stick to our original plan of the three girls I first mentioned?

mbcdefg

Ask her. Let HER decide whether or not she wants to do it.

It's very considerate of you to have her finances in mind, but it's not right for you to just make the decision on her behalf. That's basically suggesting that you don't trust her to make the right decision for her family.

Her only mandatory expense is the dress, and you'll be picking something that fits into her (and everyone else's) budget. If she wants to do more (throw parties, help you with planning, etc.), she will figure out a way to make it work. If all she can do is get the dress and show up to the wedding day, then your job is to graciouslly accept that and be thankful.

Soon2BeMrsTing

If your wedding really is a year away, then I would wait another three or four months before asking WP members to be in the wedding.

But, yes, if you would like this friend to be your MOH, then ask her and let her decide. 

MeagMcNamara

One of my BM's husband is our BM.  They have two children (who are not in the wedding party).   I asked her knowing that a) she has two children and would be likely pregnant during the ceremony.  She thought about it and agreed.  Your friend is an adult and can make up her own mind.  Just be open that you understand if she said no due to logistics.

And yes, she will be six months pregnant in August.  But I planned for this with my BM's dresses and it worked out beautifully.

cinderella+red

Thanks for the advice ladies!!