Bickering Bridesmaids

kdougan1

I originally chose my 3 bridesmaids 4 years ago when my FI and I first got engaged. They are my closest friends from high school and we've known each other for 12 years. However, between the time I asked them and now, two of them have had a falling out with the other. I moved away for college and was not around when this fight took place and I'm not really sure what it is even about. Now though the one bridesmaid has asked to throw my bridal shower without talking to the other two, which got those two upset because they had started planning without asking me or the other bridesmaid. Now I'm in the middle of a feud (that I don't understand) over a bridal shower that I don't even want. How should I handle this situation? I'm tempted to boot them all and just not have bridesmaids.

SSaltzman87

Let them work it out. This is something you shouldn't get caught in. They should be the adults here and work out their differences.

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bickering-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1501decb-d783-4078-9abb-bb436ebeaa96Post:202ff177-6e7c-4ce2-97d0-05c1172ef55d">Re: Bickering Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]Let them work it out. This is something you shouldn't get caught in. They should be the adults here and work out their differences.
Posted by SSaltzman87[/QUOTE]

Exactement.

Robyn5298

This is really unfortunate - the girls never should have got you involved to begin with.  Its not your place to organize your own shower or play peacemaker with your bridesmaids. 

Try to stay neutral as much as possible with them.  If anyone comes to you complaining about the others say something like "I'm sorry you're having difficulties with one another, but I'm sure you understand that I can't take sides."

Hopefully they'll come to their senses and start behaving like adults.  But if that doesn't happen, at least you'll come out smelling like roses because you took the high road.  This is easier said than done, so good luck!

suz62984

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bickering-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1501decb-d783-4078-9abb-bb436ebeaa96Post:557be5d9-6122-4c91-a283-7edb57c32777">Bickering Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]I originally chose my 3 bridesmaids 4 years ago when my FI and I first got engaged. They are my closest friends from high school and we've known each other for 12 years. However, between the time I asked them and now, two of them have had a falling out with the other. I moved away for college and was not around when this fight took place and I'm not really sure what it is even about. Now though the one bridesmaid has asked to throw my bridal shower without talking to the other two, which got those two upset because they had started planning without asking me or the other bridesmaid. Now I'm in the middle of a feud (that I don't understand) over a bridal shower that I don't even want. How should I handle this situation? I'm tempted to boot them all and just not have bridesmaids.
Posted by kdougan1[/QUOTE]

frogurt814

If you really don't want a shower, you are well within your rights to decline the offer.

gottahavashorti

You've been engaged for 4 years and left for college during that time - is this ongoing 18 yr olds' drama that they haven't let go of yet?

If you don't want a shower, decline both showers.  If you do want a shower, accept both.  They can plan independently and decline invitations to the one the other hosts.

[Deleted User]

I thought my engagement was way too long.  You win.  

I agree with pp let them figure it out.  

StephO516

yea, this is definitly the reason you wait to pick your WP, hell I have only been engaged for about 5 months and was drama within week 2 of the engagement. Between a girl not likeing another girl who would be on the guest list, to one of those girls EXPECTING to be in the WP and talking crap, i lost it. Neither of these girls is in the WP and in fact one of them just got herself off the guest list because of her petty crap.

I agree with the others, don't get involved and let them work it out. If you want the showers, accept them but otherwise you are not required! If they are really true friends of yours they will at least put aside the pettiness for your big day because you are important to them. but definitely stay out of it at all costs, you have enough stressful stuff going on

lalap69

They're adults.  Let them work it out themselves.  If they try to involve you, say "I really don't want to get into the middle of this.  I trust you to work it out."

lenergyrlah

Why can't you attend both showers?  Are they planning them for the same day/time?

bablingbrooke

Hold up, you got engaged 4 years ago and asked your BMs then?  Someone's a little trigger-happy.

They're all adults, they can act like it for the day.  They don't have to be friends with each other, they just have to be friends to you, which means keeping the drama to a minimum for the day.

Friends out in lurker land, THIS is why you don't ask your BMs as soon as you get engaged.