Is it too soon to ask people to be in our bridal party?

chaycesmomma · March 2010

I recently got engaged, November 7, 2009, and am not planning on getting married until December 2011. Is it too early to ask people to be in our bridal party??

stina93446 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_soon-ask-people-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:162f770f-7075-46b1-937e-b42f4c6b5ef5Post:0b5392d6-0d9b-4ff9-8d4a-e07ce1237c0f">Is it too soon to ask people to be in our bridal party?</a>:
[QUOTE]I recently got engaged, November 7, 2009, and am not planning on getting married until December 2011. Is it too early to ask people to be in our bridal party??
Posted by chaycesmomma[/QUOTE]
Yes, for the love of god, please wait until at least a year out from the wedding. There are tons of ladies that show up on this board asking how to kick their bms out of the wedding because their relationships have changed. Kicking people out of the BP is a friendship ending move. If anyone asks you "who's in your bp?" just say "it's too early to make decisions. Have you tried this bean dip?"<div>
</div><div>Please, again, wait! Wait until at least December 2010.</div>

mbcdefg · March 2010

There's no need to ask them this early ... girls only need about 4-6 months to get dresses, and guys need maybe 2 months for tuxes. Even people who are out of the country (or if your wedding is a destination wedding) don't need more than a year's notice to make travel plans.

So, yes, I would wait. Maybe ask around Christmas 2010.

I would especially wait if you have not yet booked your ceremony and reception sites. Even if you have, I would still wait, since the size and formality of your wedding could very well change during the next 21 months. You don't want to ask 8 bridesmaids now and then decide this summer than you want a more intimate wedding.

bablingbrooke · March 2010

There is no need to ask this early. So wait. Scroll down and on the first page alone you will see posts like:

-We asked the BM 2 years out, we have over a year to go and we haven't heard from him in 6 months. Can we kick him out?

-My MOH and I have grown really distant since I asked her, how can I replace her?

You don't want to be in this position. There is nothing for the WP to do yet. It isn't realistic to expect them to be excited for that long. If people are asking, just say "we haven't decided yet." Then in Dec. 2010 or later start asking. You may think now that nothing will ever change, but lots of people have thought that and then found themselves in the unenviable position of wanting to boot a BM/GM and it isn't a place you want to be.

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

Yep, it's too early. Wait until about 9 months before your wedding, so about this time next year.

SarahPLiz · March 2010

Way too early. You have no need for a BP at this point. Please read some of the other posts on this board and you will see that people and relationships change over the course of a year, yes, even your BFFs may not be BFFs next year.

bablingbrooke · March 2010

I don't know how old you are, but all this rings especially true if you're still in college now or only a year or so out. Relationships with college friends change a LOT once you hit the real world.

FutureMrsBoucher · March 2010

Ditto what everyone else has said. I asked my BFF/roommate, and it's been a nightmare. I love her to death, but I cannot talk wedding with her AT ALL and she won't cooperate when it comes to picking BM dresses. There have been a number of times that I wished that I hadn't asked her. Please don't pick yet, wait.

stina93446 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_soon-ask-people-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:162f770f-7075-46b1-937e-b42f4c6b5ef5Post:8bdffd68-ff0a-4289-a659-c201c86e06ae">Re: Is it too soon to ask people to be in our bridal party?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know how old you are, but all this rings especially true if you're still in college now or only a year or so out. Relationships with college friends change a LOT once you hit the real world.
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

OMG is this EVER true! My roomies from college were in my mind for bms in my wedding way back then. We had a falling out. So glad I didn't ask them.

aerinpegadrak · March 2010

I asked my BMs about a year and a half out. My relationships with them haven't changed, but the wedding plans sure have, and now I feel a little silly with 11 total attendants in a 40-guest wedding.

There's no good reason to ask now, and a million good reasons to wait. You'll be very glad you did.

jagore08 · March 2010

OP, I was just curious if you looked at any other threads on this board? There is at least 5 on the first page that answers this question.

beckster5551 · March 2010

I would say wait. I asked all of mine about a year out but we had to push back the wedding date a year and right now my MOH and one BM is not talking to me. I would wait until the 9 month mark.