I need some advice on what to do about a bridesmaid!

Mannajo27

So my wedding is coming up in July- and there has been a lot of family drama going on. When I was thinking about who I want to be my bridesmaid I kept in mind that family is really important. So I decided that I would ask my step sister to be a bridesmaid. We aren't really close- but we used to be. Now there is drama going on in the family, my mom and stepdad are having issues and they don't know if they are going to stay together. My step sister also moved away and is way different than she was a year ago and we don't really talk anymore. I'm wondering should I keep her as a bridesmaid? It is possible that my mom could get divorced and if that happens that would be weird to have her as a bridesmaid. I just need some advice!

Manwaithiel

You've asked her to be a bridesmaid. She's a bridesmaid. She's still family, so it's not like this is a friend that sort of just fades out of your life and you can just let the WP part of it go after that.

When it gets a little closer to your wedding (after New Year's) ask her for a budget on her dress. If she doesn't want to participate still, then she will let you know.

trix1223

Have you asked her to be a BM?  If you have, then she is.

But it sounds like you're basing this decision on maybe's and what if's.  Your mom and stepdad may indeed separate.  They may also work out their differences and this will be a non-issue.

Bottom line:  Take your mom and stepdad's issues out of the picture:  If you haven't already asked your SS, would you ask her if there weren't any issues with your mom and stepdad?  If the answer's yes, ask her.  If the answer's no:  don't ask.

ETA:  Sorry for the reading FAIL.  You've already asked her.  She's a BM and you don't kick her out based on someone else's drama:  even if it is your parents.

mbcdefg

If she wants to drop out, she will tell you (or she'll just ignore you and not buy the dress).

Otherwise, keep things as they are. You can't kick her out based on a "what if." It'd even be pretty mean to kick her out if your folks DO get divorced, if she says she still wants to be a BM. Their divorce doesn't automatically mean that the two of you can no longer have any kind of relationship.

gottahavashorti

Let her decide independently whether she is still in the wedding - don't bring it up with her.

DH's dad and step-mom are no longer together.  SMIL and her daughters are still very much part of our family, because that is how everyone involved decided to go about handling the change in family dynamics.  We never would have dreamed of not inviting them to the wedding.  All were OOT and only one of DH's step-sisters made it, but she and FIL were happily hanging out together at the reception, after party, and following the after party.

Basically, it's only as awkward as the parties involved make it, and you can't remove your step-sister from the WP because of a change in her father's relationship.

jaimed99

What's that line from Clueless? "You divorce wives, you don't divorce children."

Even if your mom and stepdad were to split up, that doesn't mean that step-siblings just disappear. My mom and her ex-husband have been divorced for a couple of years...I still talk to my stepsisters on occasion, but then again we were never really close...I am quite a bit older than they are and they are party girls and I am not

Keep her as a BM. It's not her fault...and for all you know, they may not split...so you're sort of going on a maybe here, right?