Wedding Party

Was asked to be a bridesmaid for the first engagement?

My cousin first got engaged about five years ago and she asked me to be one of three bridesmaids and I was thrilled.  However, the wedding was called off.  Two years ago I got married and I asked her to be a bridesmaid and she wanted to be, but at the last minute she couldn't due to work.  Now she is engaged again and has not asked me to be a maid.  I live on the west coast and she lives on the east coast, I feel like it is a lot of money to go to the wedding when I have not been asked to be a bridesmaid.  It also hurts my feelings that she hasn't said a word to me personally about not being one, just indirectly referred to her "two" bridesmaids.  She has also asked me to help throw her a shower for our family on the west coast.  I really want to go to the wedding, but I think I would be upset and hurt about not being a BM while I was there, should I say something to her?  She is the bride and I want her wedding to be amazing and I don't want to cause drama, I just wish she had said something to me as to WHY she isn't having me as a bridesmaid this time?
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