When to hand out BM gifts?

daniellemarie13

I live across the country from our wedding location, and my BMs are coming in from several different states. We aren't doing a big 'pamper day' or anything where we will all be together at once. So...when do I hand out BM gifts? I thought about at the rehearsal, but our rehearsal dinner is HUGE, about 80 guests. So wouldn't that be a little awkward? Or is it supposed to be done after the rehearsal dinner? Or the morning of the wedding? What is the usual on when to hand out the gifts?

aerinpegadrak

I gave ours out at the rehearsal dinner, even though pretty much all of our guests were in attendance.  It's not that big a deal, I find it's usually expected that there will be gift-giving, and only people with a direct role in the wedding will get one.

If you'd rather make it a private thing, you can really do it whenever you find a moment, either individually or as a group.  There aren't really any rules to it, it's whatever's convenient for all involved.

Robyn5298

I'm in a similar boat!  My bridesmaids are all on the East Coast and I'm flying in from California so there's limited time I'll be in town before the wedding.   

I am having a bachelorette party but other girls will be there in addition to my bridesmaids and I don't want them to feel left out.

I plan on giving them the gifts the morning of the wedding as we get ready in the hotel room together.  I figured that was the most private and special time to give the presents, and that way they can leave their gifts safely in the room and not have to bring them to the wedding.

I don't think there is a "usual" on this one - I think its what works best for you.

duckie1905

We did ours at the rehearsal dinner as well because it was really the only time pre-wedding when we were all together.  We didn't all get our hair/makeup done and some BMs I didn't see until I got to the church.

Basically, whenever is convenient is the time I would go for.

emilyinchile

I don't think anyone not in the WP would be offended to see only WP members getting gifts at the RD - it's pretty traditional. However, if that makes you uncomfortable, do it whenever makes sense in your schedule, whether that's after the RD or the morning of the wedding.

mbcdefg

If they're things that the BMs would need to pack up and take home with them, you could always mail the packages to their houses. That way, you don't have to give them our in front of rehearsal dinner guests (although I'll ditto Emily, I doubt regular guests would be offended that the BMs are getting something and they are not), and the BMs don't have to worry about transporting anything home.

Either mail a few weeks before the wedding, or immediately after the wedding (give them heartfelt notes of thanks at the wedding, and promise them that their gifts are coming). If you don't have time to go to the post office right after the wedding before you go on your honeymoon, maybe you could leave the addressed packages with, say, your parents if they live nearby, and they can drop them in the mail the next day and maybe they will get to their destinations just as the BMs are arriving back home.

mysticl

Every RD I've been to involved handing out fo the WP gifts.  It's the one time besides the wedding that you have them all together.  Everyone there understands the point of the gifts and isn't going to be offended.