Please help!!

brennan1331

My fiancee and I set our wedding date for two years from now.  I have a ton of friends and currently asked 4 people to stand and I would like to have two more but my fiancee doesn't have many friends that he is close with.  He has a best man and one groomsman picked out and that is it.  I feel like it would be weird to have a ton of girls standing and one guy and a best man.  I don't know what to do and when I bring it up to him we just end up fighting about it.  Please help!!

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_please-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1b2c0f65-a3dd-4451-b3a6-c425b4dd0a94Post:bd319145-7200-463b-9a73-f3115f715daf">Please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiancee and I set our wedding date for two years from now.  I have a ton of friends and currently asked 4 people to stand and I would like to have two more but my fiancee doesn't have many friends that he is close with.  He has a best man and one groomsman picked out and that is it.  I feel like it would be weird to have a ton of girls standing and one guy and a best man.  I don't know what to do and when I bring it up to him we just end up fighting about it.  Please help!!
Posted by brennan1331[/QUOTE]

<div>If your wedding is 2 years away, you need to put this on the back burner.  You shouldn't ask anyone more than a year in advance.</div><div>
</div><div>When the time comes, he picks his side and you pick yours.  Numbers do not matter.  You can have 12 and he can have 2.  It doesn't matter.</div>

em01092

Ditto PP. You having 12 BMs and your FI having 2 GMs might look odd to some, sure, but what is more important: the way your WP looks to everyone else, or including all of those who are nearest and dearest to you? Just giving you some perspective.

If anyone says anything about your uneven sides, which they probably wouldn't, just say friends were more important to you than numbers. It's crazy that people assume the B&G are going to have the exact same number of close friends. 

LoisLane007

I'll tell ya a quick story.

When DH and I got engaged, I had three best girls, my blood sister, and two "sisters." I jumped the gun and asked all three girls. I honestly regret asking one of them because we started to drift apart over 18 months. I also became good friends with two other girls whom I would have liked to have asked to be BMs as well. I didn't ask, because DH and I have a good group of friends and we wanted to include a lot of people, but set it on 3 BM, 3 GM, 1 FG, and 1 RB.

Since the wedding, that same BM and I have separated even more.

Ps
DON'T set bridal party numbers!!!! It's crazy and I still can't figure out why we did that.

brennan1331

Well we are doing a destination wedding and my maid of honor is going to be my sister and I asked 3 of my best friends whom i've known since 1st grade and we have always been close so I am not worried that we will drift apart (yet I understand that things can still happen).  I just notified them right away because they would need to save up money (which they are all for the DW) and I would love them to be apart of my wedding because they have always been my support system.  Thanks for the input from everyone though!  I just thought it was weird to have uneven numbers because what it will look like walking down the isle and I don't want him to feel bad either because he doesn't have that huge male support system on his side.

sweetcanadian1979

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_please-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1b2c0f65-a3dd-4451-b3a6-c425b4dd0a94Post:6e5d8678-369b-4a0a-8e56-90b7cfc5a873">Re: Please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Well we are doing a destination wedding and my maid of honor is going to be my sister and<strong> I asked 3 of my best friends whom i've known since 1st grade and we have always been close so I am not worried that we will drift apart (yet I understand that things can still happen).</strong>  I just notified them right away because they would need to save up money (which they are all for the DW) and I would love them to be apart of my wedding because they have always been my support system.  Thanks for the input from everyone though!  I just thought it was weird to have uneven numbers because what it will look like walking down the isle and I don't want him to feel bad either because he doesn't have that huge male support system on his side.
Posted by brennan1331[/QUOTE]

It can & does happen. I just ended a 15 year friendship with my best friend. I thought we would be friends for ever. We had NEVER had a fight before. She told me what to do constantly with the wedding, made every single thing about her. When she asked me to plan a weekend in the city & the 3.5 star hotel suite wasn't up to her standards that she told me 2 weeks before she would get her own room at one of the fancy hotels 20 minutes away i had enough.
 
I nicely explained how upset i was that nothing i ever did was good enough for her (especially for something she asked for) & she went off the rocker, started stalking me on tk & sending posts to my other bridesmaids (not about them, just to give them my tk info, i keep it private) & when confronted by them about her motives she wouldn't respond.

So ya things can change pretty fast. I knew she had mental health issues, but i never held them against her, i did not know how bad things could get.

It is too early, does he have any brothers, counsins etc? I would still wait for a year or 1.5 years before deciding anything.