sisters in wedding NOT as BMs?

CandiceJoy18

What else could I have my 2 older sisters do in my wedding, other than be bridesmaids?  This is going to be my second wedding and they were both BMs in the first one.  I'm trying to make this one more about what I want and less abotu what's expected of me.  I'm having only 1 - 3 girls in my bridal party depending on how my relationship with each of them goes between now and the wedding.  I don't want to have friends as BMs just b/c I'm "suppose to."

So the question is, what can my sisters do?  They are both 30 yrs old if that helps.

mbcdefg

First, a friendly tip ... take your last name out of your signature line. For safety's sake. There have been a lot of whackos on these message boards (and remember that EVERYONE on earth can access this website, not just well-meaning brides) who've screwed with people in real life because they found out their last names.

Second - they can be readers, singers/performers, bring up Communion or participate in another religious ritual, sign the license as the official witnesses, escort special relatives to their seats as ushers, or just wear corsages and be honored guests (and maybe be seated in the processional).

CTGirl30

Ditto mbcdefg on pretty much everything she said - esp on removing your last name as a matter of personal safety - you never know what whackjobs are reading public forums, you know?

My 2 FSILs will be involved as readers. Definately a nice way to have a special person be included without havign to do the whole BM thing.

trix1223

Guests?  If you don't want your sisters in the WP, you could ask each of them to do a reading, or you could let them come as guests.  There are a number of posts below about this topic.

Please don't give them some lame, make-work job.  They'll know it's a lame make-work job.

And if I were you, I'd change my account.  I now know that your name is Candice Joy Hill and that you're in North Carolina.  It's pretty easy to find out more about you now.   Better safe than sorry.

emilyinchile

I don't think they need to do anything. They're big girls, they should be old enough to accept that your WP is your decision. If you'd like to include them, PPs have good advice - personal attendant and guest book attendant are two particularly craptastic jobs that people sometimes try to pass off as "honors," so avoid those.

bablingbrooke

30 year old women are perfectly able to handle not being BMs like mature adults.  If you want to have them read or bring up gifts if you're having a Catholic mass that's fine.  Otherwise they may just be fine being guests--don't underestimate the fun in that!

CandiceJoy18

Thanks ladies.  Sometimes I give the people in this world too much credit, thinking that everyone is good.  And I just a couple months ago had fraud problems with my bank account that hurt me pretty good.. you'd think I'd learn..  :-/

As for the comments about readers, what do you mean?  Our wedding is going to be outside at a farm/bed and breakfast.  There won't be a lot to set up for decoations because there is so much natural beauty, so it's going to be very informal.  I thought of the guestbook sign in thing but I feel like that's just a crap job. 

We're thinking of having our older boys (8 yrs old) be ushers to seat the family an such, and I imagined having the sisters seated up front with my parents.  One of my sisters sang at the other's wedding and I don't wanna make her do it again for mine b/c she has stagefright. 

So what's this readings thing?

bablingbrooke

Many weddings have readings during the ceremony--religious passages, poems, etc.  DH's uncle read a passage out of the Bible in Arabic at our wedding, for example.  So if you had readings in your ceremony they could perform those.  If you don't have readings, then you don't have readings or readers.  

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

We are having our siblings be ushers or readers.

mbcdefg

I agree with you about guest book attendant being a crap job.

Readings are passages read during the ceremony (although they're optional ... you don't HAVE to have them). Many people have family members or friends come up and read a passage from the Bible, a literary text, a children's book, a famous poem or a personally composed poem, movie quotes or song lyrics, etc.

If you're having a religious ceremony, check with your minister to see what is allowed (for example, Catholics can only have Biblical readings). If it's a secular ceremony, pick whatever you'd like. Or, again, skip readings if they're not your thing.

If your sisters are musically inclined, perhaps they could sing a song or play an instrument.

If you want to do something like a unity candle, a sand ceremony, a handfasting, etc., they could read the text or help perform the ritual.