no wedding party - thoughts?

buckeyesweetz

Hi all,

My fiance and I are trying to decide what we want to do as far as a wedding party is concerned. My fiance moved to a new area about a year ago, and while he casually keeps in touch with old friends they don't see each other much. He doesn't want to ask people to be in the WP "just for the sake of having people" and he is a fan of not having a wedding party whatsover.

I don't really mind either way, I have friends I would ask, but we are having a catholic wedding so there are many other ways to inclyde people in the ceremony besides BMs and GMs. We need readers, gift bearers, etc so I'm okay with including my close friends that way.

I guess my question is.... would it be weird to not have ANYONE? My fiance says the day should be about us and this idea would just simplify things. I agree but am not as sure about it. Would it be weird? Is anyone else doing that... or have you been to a wedding with no wedding party? We are inviting about 130, so we expect about 100 or so. I figure we'd still take pictures with family, cousins, and with any friends we want in between ceremony/reception. It just wouldn't be color matching etc.

Thoughts/comments appreciated and welcome

bablingbrooke

You're just as married without a WP as you are with one.  If you don't want one, have at it. 

emilyinchile

Not weird. My cousin and his wife didn't have one - yes, I noticed because I've traditionally seen one, but I didn't think it was strange at all.

heyimbren

Nope, not weird at all. Lots of people don't have WPs.

trix1223

Not weird at all.  My sister and BIL didn't have a WP, and I loved it.  Had I not already been married, I would have given strong consideration to it as well.  I thought it was very romantic~just the two of them in the front of the church.

Our mom and his dad served as witnesses, and I don't completely remember what she did with her flowers during the ceremony.  Maybe handed them to our mom in the front pew?

lalap69

You don't need a wedding party at all.  As long as you have someone to witness (and any adult can do this), you're good!

jerseydevil

If that's what you and FI want and it fits you, then you don't have to have one!

eshaufle

Totally fine.  I think it will look great no matter what.

You will need to pick the witnesses to sign the marriage certificate though (usually done by the MOH and BM).

ehathewa

That's fine.  But when I read your post it sounded like your FI didn't want a WP... but you kind of do.  It would also be OK for your FI not to have anyone stand up with him and to have a BM or two.

eshaufle

I didn't know the witness laws vary by state but that makes sense since the laws to get one are different too (how far in advance, days valid before wedding, etc).  I was thinking about having 2 MOH's and my pastor said that it was fine but only one could sign the license (assuming my FI's BM was the other witness) so in Wisconsin it must be 2 witnesses.

jaimed99

Your fiance is wise

I agree with PPs...if you don't feel that you need a WP, don't have one. At this point I'm really ready to not have one, and I'm not even getting married for 11 months...

Lisa50

I don't think it would be weird at all.  It seems much more intimate, really.  Go for it!

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1c2dba91-a02a-4096-89d9-69bbbefac6afPost:58554dd3-68c1-414f-a6e1-ed7ba4e1af7b">Re: no wedding party - thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks everyone! I guess I could kind of go either way as far as choosing BMs for myself. It is nice to know it wouldn't be "weird" to not have one at all though as an option. We also thought about just asking our sisters to stand up with us. I have one sister, and he has 2, but I that might be another idea we're throwing around :)
Posted by buckeyesweetz[/QUOTE]

That sounds nice, too.  You have one attendant, he has two.  All sisters.  NICE!!!

jess9802

My FI and I are also not having a wedding party. Most of my friends seem thankful to not have to deal with the hassle and expense of matching dresses and all that goes along with being a BM. I just want them to be there and enjoy the day. As long as you have people at your wedding it won't be hard to find witnesses if necessary.

Rae0729

We're not having a WP!

I attended a wedding last year where there was no WP and it was lovely.  It was one of the most beautful and genuine weddings that I have ever been to.

Good luck to you!

BluValkyrie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1c2dba91-a02a-4096-89d9-69bbbefac6afPost:38be9b2d-2d88-45f9-80be-32ffeea25d34">Re: no wedding party - thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]Totally fine.  I think it will look great no matter what. You will need to pick the witnesses to sign the marriage certificate though (usually done by the MOH and BM).
Posted by eshaufle[/QUOTE]

Unless you're area doesn't require witnesses; you'll want to look into that.  I know different areas have different requirements; like Oregon needs witnesses, but Massachusetts does not.

Check you're area and plan accordingly, but no, you don't need to have a wedding party if you don't want one.

526SadieSadie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1c2dba91-a02a-4096-89d9-69bbbefac6afPost:2286df8d-b7aa-4223-aa78-3f4f91e8fde5">Re: no wedding party - thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong><u>You're just as married without a WP as you are with one.</u></strong>  If you don't want one, have at it. 
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

Agreed.  I will say that you need to earmark two people at your ceremony to sign your marriage license, but they don't have to be attendants, it can be anyone over 18 who witnesses the ceremony.