Other roles besides BP?

carinmarice

We are planning a fairly casual destination wedding.  Much like the girls of Sex and the City, I was born without the wedding gene; I am happy with things being as simple as possible.  To that end, I wanted to have a MOH and Best Man, and assumed my FI would be happy with this, too.  Turns out he wants 4 GM, and would like me to have 3 or 4 bridesmaids.  Keep in mind, this would be half of the people attending the wedding!  I think we  could compromise if I could offer some suggestions for other meaningful roles for his (our) 2 or 3 good friends.  Biblical passages are out -- neither of us is especially religious.  Any other ideas?  Thanks!

Carin

mbcdefg

Secular readings - poems, excerpts from classic literature, excerpts from children's literature (Dr. Seuss, The Giving Tree, The Velveteen Rabbit). Google for "wedding readings" and you will find a ton. Or ask a friend to write something meaningful for you and then read it aloud at your ceremony.

If anyone can sing or play an instrument well, ask them to perform.

Have a friend ordained online (if that is legal at your destination) and they can be the one to actually marry you.

They can usher the relatives to their seats during the processional.

Another compromise is that he could have his four groomsmen and you can just have the Maid of Honor. Your sides need not match.

MyNameIsNot

You could have them do non-religious readings, such as favorite poems or excepts from favorite books or even song lyrics.  Or if they are musically inclined, they could sing or play an instrument.

Other than that, guest is really the only option.  

But there's nothing wrong with having 3-4 BMs at a small DW.  The important part is honoring the closest friends in your life, not getting some perfect BM to GM to guest ratio.  

gottahavashorti

He can have 4 GM even if you only have a MOH.  If you're concerned about having half of the guests standing at the altar, the WP can be seated for the ceremony.

emilykathleen511

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_other-roles-besides-bp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1d0c72bd-9184-4ad5-9cb0-c05252db8599Post:55748aae-c2d4-4185-84fd-c2ef33a61583">Other roles besides BP?</a>:
[QUOTE]We are planning a fairly casual destination wedding.  Much like the girls of Sex and the City, I was born without the wedding gene; I am happy with things being as simple as possible.  To that end, I wanted to have a MOH and Best Man, and assumed my FI would be happy with this, too.  Turns out he wants 4 GM, and would like me to have 3 or 4 bridesmaids.  Keep in mind, this would be half of the people attending the wedding!  I think we  could compromise if I could offer some suggestions for other meaningful roles for his (our) 2 or 3 good friends.  Biblical passages are out -- neither of us is especially religious.  Any other ideas?  Thanks! Carin
Posted by carinmarice[/QUOTE]

<div>You get to pick your side, he gets to pick his. Therefore, if you end up with 1 MOH, 1 BM, and 3 GM that will be how it goes. If you want you could have the 3 groomsman walk in the processional, and then sit down and just have the MOH and BM stand in front with you two. But you two don't get to dictate the others attendants.</div>

emilyinchile

If you're so untraditional, it shouldn't bug you too much to have even sides or have a larger percentage of guests than usual participating in the wedding, right? I don't think it's very fair to say that your FI can't have his 4 best friends standing next to him as GMs, but it's also not fair of him to say that you have to up your number because of what he wants. Do the 4 GMs and 1 MOH.

carinmarice

Just to clarify, no one is forcing anyone to do anything.  My FI is open to coming up with other roles for our friends, as he doesn't like uneven sides.  The suggestions so far have been really helpful.  If there are any others, I'd love to hear them.  Thanks!

emilyinchile

Honestly, I'd show your FI some pictures of weddings with uneven sides (I think Tide's bio has some, can't remember who else). I'm borderline OCD and at first wanted even sides, but I reconsidered. I realized that it wasn't ok to tell my then-FI that he couldn't ask his 4th best friend to be a GM for such a lame reason.

If you both are happy with his 2 or 3 additional friends doing readings or something instead of being GMs then great, but otherwise I think it might be an idea for him to think about the meaning of GMs rather than the look of it all. In 20 years, uneven sides won't bug you, but not having his best friends up there might.