Hi everyone. I know there was just a post about "how old is too old to be a flower girl," but my situation is slightly unique, so I thought I would ask you all for more advice.
Within a couple weeks after we got engaged, my FI and my FMIL got in a huge fight about wedding related issues. My FMIL asked my FI if "D," my FI's cousin's daughter, was going to be in our wedding. My FI replied he had no idea (because we had JUST gotten engaged). My FMIL was irate and said "All "D" has EVER wanted to do is wear a pretty dress and be in YOUR wedding." My FI said she could maybe be a flower girl (even though I wasn't planning on having one), and my FMIL got mad and said no, because "D" is 8 years old now and will turn 9 before our wedding this coming August, so she's too old and instead needs to be a Jr. Bridesmaid. I've never met "D" as she lives out of state, so I have no idea if she actually cares about being in our wedding.
Meanwhile, at my family's Thanksgiving dinner (which I was not present at), my Mom asked my cousin if his daughter, "A" would like to be a flower girl, and apparently my cousin's wife really liked that idea. The problem - "A" will only be 1 yr 7 months old at the time of my wedding, so while she's be walking on her own, she will still be very, very young. I was not planning on asking her to be a flower girl for this reason.
So, what to do? My idea, which would hopefully remedy both situations, is to have "D" hold "A's" hand and walk her down the aisle, so that "D" could feel involved and "A" would have someone helping her. There would still be an issue, in that my FMIL doesn't want "D" to be labeled a flower girl, and that's what she technically would be doing. What do you all think I should do?