How to include brother in the wedding

leduxiemerenard

I'm not quite sure that this is the appropriate board for my question, but here goes anyway:

FI is an only child and I have a college-aged brother whom I love dearly and really want to involve/include in the wedding.  But we decided early on that FI doesn't feel close enough to my brother to make him a groomsmen, and I felt (and confirmed with my brother) that he'd be uncomfortable being my guy of honor, or a bridesman, or whatever.  He is also pretty strongly anti-religion, so I don't think he'd be comfortable doing a reading.  Is there anything else he could do in the wedding, in addition to or instead of being an usher, to make a point of the fact that he's my only sibling and is special to me?  He is going to be my witness on the marriage certificate, but that's not exactly a very visible position.  

aerinpegadrak

Can he do a non-religious reading?  The only reading at our wedding was a sonnet from Shakespeare. 

mgietler76

I would just let him be a guest, I would normally say have him stand on your side (both my brothers are but we're not calling them bridesmen just attendants) or to have him do a reading. But since you've covered those two I have no other ideas. What about getting him a boutonniere and maybe say a speech like a MOH would do?

frogurt814

The only reading we had at our wedding was non-religious.  There are plenty of non-religious readings out there.

Since you already said that your bro would be uncomfortable being one of your attendants, I'd say ask him to do a non-religious reading, or just get him a boutonniere and have him sit in the front row with your parents.

balasj

He can escort your mom or a grandmother/aunt etc down the aisle perhaps?  If he doesn't want to do a reading at the ceremony - religious or otherwise - I also like the idea of having him give an additional little speech at the reception.  And you can always have him announced with the rest of the parents and bridal party when they enter the reception - maybe pair him with another close family member for that or have him and dad both on one of mom's arms. 

Beachy730

I was in the same situation for the WP as my brother.  He wouldn't be comfortable being on my side, and him and H weren't close enough for H to have him.  I got him a bout, he walked my mom down the aisle and he did a reading.  We had a Catholic ceremony so it was religious reading, but we also had non-Catholics who participated in our wedding, either through readings or carrying the gifts up.  Don't assume he wouldn't do a reading just because he isn't religious. 

leduxiemerenard

Thanks all!  I don't know why, but I hadn't even considered a non-religious reading.  I will certainly look into that.  We're definitely planning on getting him a boutonniere and having him escort my mom, but I also like the idea of introducing him with my parents and maybe having him do a speech.

mbcdefg

Does your church allow secular readings? If not, there are some Biblical readings that aren't too religion-heavy (one of the ones we used was Ecc 4:9-12, and that was basically focusing on friendship and helping each other, I don't even think God was mentioned in it).

sister2groom

Play a song that's special to both of you and dance with (I wouldn't do a special spotlight brother-sister dance, but it might be nice).