Wedding Party
Options

Help! Do I have to make my future sister in law a bridesmaid?

My future sister-in-law and I have had a VERY rough relationship. We are currently cordial to each other.  I have 3 sisters to serve as bridesmaids but also I would like to include my 4 closest friends. My girls are all very special to me ... Advice, please!

Re: Help! Do I have to make my future sister in law a bridesmaid?

  • Options
    No, as far as I know you don't HAVE to include anyone in particular, sister or friend of FSIL.  Chances are if you've had a rocky relationship, she won't really want to be in the wedding anyway.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_future-sister-law-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:230a2360-0645-4fc2-9a07-a41bb3700fbePost:27e86fe2-cabf-46bc-84c7-eb91de7e3eec">Help! Do I have to make my future sister in law a bridesmaid?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My future sister-in-law and I have had a VERY rough relationship. We are currently cordial to each other.  I have 3 sisters to serve as bridesmaids but also I would like to include my 4 closest friends. My girls are all very special to me ... Advice, please!
    Posted by missalysa326[/QUOTE]

    You should have whoever you like stand by your side as bridesmaids. Although, if you think it would cause years of drama with your in-laws if you don't ask her, it may be easier to just ask her and avoid the whole years of drama thing.
    Anniversary
    White Knot
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Options
    I included my SIL but we have an excellent relationship.  If you don't have a great relationship with her, chances are she doesn't want to be included anyway.  But, as emilykathleen said, if its going to cause drama with your ILs for years to come I'm in favor of asking her just to keep the peace.

    But no, you aren't required to have any BMs you don't want.
  • Options
    No requirement. If you don't want her in the BP, don't ask her.
    image
    Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
    My Planning Bio
    My Married Bio updated March 4
  • Options
    No, you don't have to ask anyone you don't want to. But.  Like PPs said, if you think it will cause drama, just ask her, and don't expect a lot.  My older brother and his FI didn't ask me to be in their WP, but they did ask our little brother, and I was a bit upset about that, even though we're not that close. That being said, she's not in my WP either.  In the end, it's your choice.
  • Options

    No, you don't have to. I have a great relationship with my two FSIL's and I still chose not to ask them to stand up because they're quite a bit younger and I have a lot of very close friends. I've asked them both to do a reading in the ceremony instead. I'm very happy with the decision. Do whatever YOU feel is right for you, not for your family or theirs.

  • Options
    I didn't include my FSIL.  I didn't not include because of a rocky relationship or anything.  She and I are just very different and we knew we wanted a small wedding party so I just included my close friends.  Including her didn't even occur to me until I came on here!
  • Options
    I know exactly how you feel.  I don't get along with my FSIL either.  And the crazy thing is that my FMIL has been dropping questions as far as what her (my FSIL)'s role going to be in the wedding!  I think the reason she is doing this is because she wants to "show" to everyone that our families are coming together all happily, but in truth, our families don't get along real well...ALSO my FSIL is going to have 2 young babies by the time we get married (twins), so I figured she would rather be sitting with her 2 newborns rather than standing in the front with me.  In the end the final call is up to you.  Don't let anyone else sway you because its your day...
  • Options
    She can always stand on your brother's side if she really wants to be in the wedding.  Mixed gender wedding parties are becoming more and more common.  I'm considering asking my brother to switch to my side, since he and FI don't really get along.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • Options
    Equitette would tell you yes. I really think that is a dumb thing if you two do not share some bond or closeness. I would not do that and am not just for the fact that I am not close to any woman in his family.I am not even including my sisters in this event has BP.

    If your FI wants to include her then he can add her to his side. Alot of B&G's are doing that these days. You have who has been there for you has a friend and that you could not see not having them be a part of this special moment in your life.
  • Options
    I am asking my FSIL because she's like an older sister to me.  FI is asking her husband because FI was asked to be a groomsman for their wedding, even though they are far from bromantic. 

    If you are clos(er) to your FILs, especially your FMIL, I'd ask her what she thinks.  If she knows that you two have had it rocky for a while, maybe she wouldn't mind if her daughter weren't included on your special side.  Or, as someone else suggested, if she is to be involved, she can more than readily stand for her brother (honor attendants are all the rage these days!).  But no matter what, go with your gut- but you might have to be ready to defend your decision to the future family.
    Holiday Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Options
    NOPE As pp have already mentioned-you dont have to have your FSIL in your wedding party. I'm not
  • Options
    You don't have to but sometimes it's worth it to buy some family peace.  Not having FSILs (or sisters) in the WP isn't a problem until it becomes one.  So if you foresee it being a big family drama, ask them (all they have to do is buy the dress and show up, it isn't a big deal).  

    Friends understand that family sometimes gets an automatic "in".  My sister and I don't get along, she was my MOH because in my family that's just how we do it.  None of my friends were upset, they totally understood and assumed that she was going to be MOH before I even asked them to be BMs.  So don't think that it will make their parts any less special.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards