Bridal Party

KellyGo0525

I am planning a destination ceremony in St. Lucia.  2 of my good friends are planning on attending.  We are having a reception about a month after the ceremony back home.  What is the ettiquitte on having a bridal party for the reception? Can I include people that weren't able to make it to the ceremony?  One of my best friends will probably not be attending the ceremony and I would love for her to be included on the reception day.  What should I do??

frogurt814

If someone is not a part of your wedding party at your wedding, then they are not a part of your WP. 

suz62984

I can't say that i've been to a destination wedding reception. Are you planning to announce the WP? There aren't programs so i'm just wondering what your thoughts were for having them stand out?

I'd say that since she couldn't come she isn't a BM; however if you feel strongly about it maybe she could be an honorary BM.

mbcdefg

The only real purpose of bridesmaids is to stand up at your ceremony, so I don't see a point in having additional bridesmaids for an at-home reception.

I would just be sure to hug them and thank them for being there, and for their friendship. That is plenty.

trix1223

A WP's role is during the ceremony, not the reception.  Someone who is not at the ceremony would not, then, be in a WP for an AHR  a month later.

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridal-party-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:24d0fc43-e115-449d-9fdb-c7c7e6be2abbPost:4b86aa64-e394-43cd-97bd-5fb62718eecf">Bridal Party</a>:
[QUOTE]I am planning a destination ceremony in St. Lucia.  2 of my good friends are planning on attending.  We are having a reception about a month after the ceremony back home.  What is the ettiquitte on having a bridal party for the reception? Can I include people that weren't able to make it to the ceremony?  <strong>One of my best friends will probably not be attending the ceremony and I would love for her to be included on the reception day.</strong>  What should I do??
Posted by KellyGo0525[/QUOTE]


Included in what, exactly?  The WP doesn't have anything to do during the reception.  I certainly hope you're not making people wear matching dresses for your AHR?

bablingbrooke

WP don't have a role at the reception.  They're off-duty after the ceremony.

aerinpegadrak

WP's duties begin and end with the ceremony. 

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridal-party-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:24d0fc43-e115-449d-9fdb-c7c7e6be2abbPost:4b86aa64-e394-43cd-97bd-5fb62718eecf">Bridal Party</a>:
[QUOTE]I am planning a destination ceremony in St. Lucia.  2 of my good friends are planning on attending.  We are having a reception about a month after the ceremony back home.  What is the ettiquitte on having a bridal party for the reception? Can I include people that weren't able to make it to the ceremony?  One of my best friends will probably not be attending the ceremony and <strong>I would love for her to be included on the reception day.</strong>  What should I do??
Posted by KellyGo0525[/QUOTE]

If you are inviting her to the reception, you ARE including her.

KellyGo0525

What we have planned so far is to just have the ceremony be in St. Lucia @ Sandals.  Everyone who we would want in our wedding party has been invited and plans to attend as long as it is financially feasable for them when it comes time to book the trip.  We would have no reception in St. Lucia, our reception back home is going to be just as big an event as it would have been if we were to have the ceremony here.  My main reason for wanting a wedding party is for all of our friends to be included in our big day, even the ones that can't make it to the ceremony if it turns out that they cannot go.  This includes the pictures before and at the reception, eating with us at the head table, the bridal party dance, etc.  
I don't agree that the ONLY role of the WP is to be witness of the ceremony.  These girls are like sisters to me and will be my right hand through helping me to plan my wedding.  So just because one of my girls can't afford to go on the vacation, I shouldn't honor her by asking her to be by my side at the reception? 

bablingbrooke

What "side" at the reception?  What on earth would they have to do?  BMs don't have jobs at the reception, even if the ceremony happened at the same venue.  The reception is a party.  You're not re-enacting the ceremony and saying vows (I hope).

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridal-party-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:24d0fc43-e115-449d-9fdb-c7c7e6be2abbPost:d7aaf9d0-f639-4606-9368-46609a758b3e">Re: Bridal Party</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know how many weddings that you have been to or stood up in, but in my experience the bridesmaids are an important part of the reception.  I wonder if your bridesmaids know just how important they are to you...And yes, the reception is a party, and NO we will not be "reenacting our vows".  However we will be having a slideshow of the ceremony played at the reception so our guests that didn't go on the vacation can see the pictures.  Perhaps I should have posted this board under the destination weddings section so at least I could get feedback from brides who understand where I am coming from,and not just coming up with snarky comments.
Posted by KellyGo0525[/QUOTE]
Wow, that was uncalled for.  I hope you don't react this way every time someone tells you that your idea isn't appropriate.<div>
</div><div>I guess I just don't know what "role" these girls play at the reception.  My BMs did what all other guests did, they just did so in their outfits.  </div><div>
</div><div>I get the feeling you want both a small DW and a big white wedding.  I'm sorry to say you don't get both.  If you want the big wedding with the WP and everyone, have that then HM in St. Lucia, like banana suggested.  Otherwise, you give things up to have a small DW, like a big WP.</div>

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridal-party-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:24d0fc43-e115-449d-9fdb-c7c7e6be2abbPost:d7aaf9d0-f639-4606-9368-46609a758b3e">Re: Bridal Party</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know how many weddings that you have been to or stood up in, but in my experience the bridesmaids are an important part of the reception.  I wonder if your bridesmaids know just how important they are to you...And yes, the reception is a party, and NO we will not be "reenacting our vows".  However we will be having a slideshow of the ceremony played at the reception so our guests that didn't go on the vacation can see the pictures.  Perhaps I should have posted this board under the destination weddings section so at least I could get feedback from brides who understand where I am coming from,and not just coming up with snarky comments.
Posted by KellyGo0525[/QUOTE]

Well, keep in mind that some of the above post does come across as rather condescending.  I haven't seen a lot of snark in this thread but you need to be snark free if you want to help contribute to an atmosphere that is.

The BMs may do things at the reception but remember, the reception is FOR the guests.  And if your post was directed to me, I've been to tons of weddings and I've been married for three years.  The only things my BMs did at the reception was walk in and some held my dress when I needed to use the bathroom.   There were no "duties" for them at all other than to enjoy themselves.

aerinpegadrak

I've also never been to a wedding where the BMs had anything to do at the reception.  I had a destination wedding (followed by a light reception, because not offering any sort of hospitality to the people who witnessed the ceremony is one of the biggest faux pas you can commit), and while I did have a WP, none of them actually attended the AHR.  They were all invited, but none of them could make it.  But had they attended, they wouldn't have been doing anything differently than any of the other guests.