How do we tell my FSIL that she's not in the wedding?

mellieg11

I was wondering if anyone has a suggestion as how to "Nicely" tell my FSIL that she will not be in the wedding?

stina93446

There's no polite way to say it. You just DON'T. If she asks, change the subject. If your FI wants her in the wedding, have her be a groomswoman. Or have her do a reading. But do NOT tell her she's NOT in the wedding. How rude!

waltzingmatilda13

Just don't mention anything about it. If she does ask you can politely explain it away by saying you wanted a small WP or you had too many people to choose from and couldn't honor everyone.

Manwaithiel

You're having a birthday party. You hand out invitations discreetly to your friends. Then you go up to someone you really don't like and say "You are NOT invited."

Doesn't that sound bad to you?

This is the same situation. You just say nothing. If she doesn't take the hint and asks you about it, say you've picked your wedding party. If she seems to be hinting at something or won't let it go, just say, "I'm not discussing this further," and leave it at that.

gottahavashorti

If she asks who the BMs are, "Sally, Jane and Susie."  Otherwise, say nothing.

banana468

Don't tell her she isn't in the WP at all.  Instead if he asks, just say, "Oh the BMs are X, Y and Z."  But as PPs said, there's no way to say, "You're not in it."

bablingbrooke

You don't.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_tell-fsil-shes-not-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:28005c03-7e8f-4b7f-8297-e96b26463439Post:250600ef-c803-4b13-a16b-4db748213657">How do we tell my FSIL that she's not in the wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I was wondering if anyone has a suggestion as how to "Nicely" tell my FSIL that she will not be in the wedding?
Posted by mellieg11[/QUOTE]

suz62984

There isn't a nice way to tell someone, esp a family member, that they aren't good enough, special enough, loved enough, and didn't make the cut to be in the wedding. Just let it go. She'll figure it out when you A) don't ask her   or doesn't get told where and when to buy a BM dress.

Trust me, you don't want to have a conversation with her about not being in the wedding. It will hurt your relationship, make you look like a huge biotch, and hurt her feelings completely.

mellieg11

Thanks for all the responses.

Lisa50

The only reason to tell her is in answer to a direct question from her.  And, really, her brother is the one to deal with it.  Definitely!

lisaandcorey

Is there another way she can help out with the wedding? Another poster suggested asking her to do a reading.  Does she have any talents that would be an asset in your wedding planning?