There is a really long back story to the reason why I want to fire her, but it all started with the moment I asked her to be my maid of honor. I asked her in haste, in the middle of the excitement of just getting engaged and I regretted it almost right away. She is one of my best friends from high school (I'm 29) so we've been friends for a long time, but just haven't been as close in the last few years. Anyhow, my wedding is March 26th and at the beginning of January my FSIL (my matron of honor) came to me and said that since MOH has not made any effort to reach out to her and the other girls about a bridal shower and bachelorette party that she and I needed to talk about dates and she would get the ball rolling. Apparently this made MOH feel like her toes were stepped on and that she was out of the loop. To try and rectify this she and I got together and discussed dates and bachelorette party ideas, but she still never got in contact with the other girls, so again FSIL sends out email about location, time, who was helping with what, etc. At this point MOH emails FSIL and tells her that I'm not doing a good job communicating with her, she doesn't feel included, and she wishes I would do a better job. Ooook. I had already sent out an email about having a wine night at my house in an attempt to get all of the girls (I am having 5 bridesmaids) together to hang out and get to know each other(those that don't), I invite all of them as well as a couple of other friends who will be involved in the wedding. MOH never replies and doesn't come. I send out an evite for my son's birthday party, MOH never replies and doesn't come. I text her about something random, no reply. 3 days later (Sunday) she txts back but just to say sorry she missed my son's birthday. Apparently that Monday she called me but it went straight to VM so I did not know she was trying to reach me. Tuesday she writes something rude on my FB wall (how old are we?) Wednesday morning I receive an email from her telling me that she got a promotion and will be traveling so much for work that she will not be able to attend any wedding events only the wedding and that she really needed me the last 2 weeks and that I had not been there for her as she is always there for me and that our friendship is one sided, that I've done a horrible job communicating with her and on and on. Basically she bashed the sh.. out of me. I emailed her back a very calm, and kind response basically telling her I am sorry she feels that way, I had no idea she was trying to reach me or needed me, and that I completely understood if she was no longer able to or wanted to keep up with MOH duties. Later that night we talk and I ask her about her promotion and I tell her not to worry about not being able to attend events, that I understand this is important to her career. She says, "I feel bad that I won't be able to be the MOH you deserve, so I understand if you want to take away my title. I really don't want to lose it, but I will understand if you do."
WHAT? Since when has being in someone's wedding been about a title? It's about being there for your friend/loved one on one of the biggest days of their life. I was so floored I couldn't even get out what I wanted to say which was If I'm such a crappy friend why do you want to be in my wedding anyway?
It's not that she can't be at events that makes me want to kick her out, it's the juvenile behavior she has displayed. It's the fact that she bashed me in an email and didn't even aknowledge the fact that she was nasty. It's the fact that she is the only person in my bridal party causing any drama. I just don't want it, and I don't want her to be the person standing nearest to me on my wedding day when she clearly isn't that person in my life, which I must say was my mistake in the first place.
What do I do? I wish she would bow out gracefully, and I gave her that opportunity. I know if I kick her out she will make herself out to be the victim- "She kicked me out because I got a promotion."
Advice please!