Fiance has 7 siblings!

Delta2783

My fiance has 2 siblings and 5 younger half siblings (ages 3-10).  We are going to have his brother and sister as wedding attendants.  What should I do about his younger half siblings?  It seems so expensive to have 3 flower girls/jr. bridesmaids, a ring bearer, and a jr. groomsman.  I don't want to hurt their feelings, please help.

adriennevazquez

Find other jobs for them to do...Explain to them they all cant be in the wedding party but you really care about them and want them involved.  Try to find little things they can do throughout the wedding to make them feel special like passing out programs at the ceremony, helping people find there seat at the reception, passing out favors, things like that.  They probably arent excited about being flower girls...thats boring.  They just want to feel like they matter.

Whippet8

DH has 8 siblings...and 11 nieces and nephews...All of his brothers (3) were in the wedding, and I asked 2 out of his 5 sisters to be my bridesmaids. As far as I know, no one was hurt about not being in the wedding. We also only chose 2 of his nieces for our flower girls (out of 8)...they were the two nieces that we are closest with.

With such a large family, everyone understood, and we made sure to take a huge family picture directly after the ceremony.

If it's really causing drama about the flower girls...dont have any...they arent necessary, just cute.

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fiance-7-siblings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:2ec7e8d3-faaf-423e-b1dd-258d0caad070Post:046be945-ba6a-431b-b4a9-92d66480dafe">Re: Fiance has 7 siblings!</a>:
[QUOTE]Find other jobs for them to do...Explain to them they all cant be in the wedding party but you really care about them and want them involved.  Try to find little things they can do throughout the wedding to make them feel special like passing out programs at the ceremony, helping people find there seat at the reception, passing out favors, things like that.  They probably arent excited about being flower girls...thats boring.  They just want to feel like they matter.
Posted by adriennevazquez[/QUOTE]

I disagree with this advice. A 3 year old is not going to be able to do a job, and while some 10 year olds might feel really important if they get to help, others will be bored and cranky. In general, people don't want to work at your wedding for free, and jobs are not honors. And passing out programs is not more interesting than being a flower girl.

Just let the kids be guests, as PPs have said. You could get them each a flower or have them process in with families if you want to do something to distinguish them from other guests.

CTGirl30

I ditto Emily on that - giving people who are not your paid vendors "jobs" at weddings is never really a great idea...and especially for kids who may get overwhelmed aroudn a lot of people they don't know or tried or cranky or may just want to be kids and run around at the reception. Kids don't need to pass out favors to know they matter.

OP - if you and your FI decide you want to skip having a FG &  RB that is perfectly fine and it's up to you. They're by no means a necessity. Just be sure to tell FI's dad that once you two make the decision so he'll stop mentioning the possibiilty to the kids and getting them all worked up about it. I'm betting the kids' parents will probably even be relieved not to have to go out and buy their children a special dress or little RB outfit....

CA2MT4EveR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fiance-7-siblings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:2ec7e8d3-faaf-423e-b1dd-258d0caad070Post:590a7f38-4515-4b12-82e5-774b95b8081b">Re: Fiance has 7 siblings!</a>:
[QUOTE]Well my fiance's dad already commented that there are a lot of kids excited to be flower girls...
Posted by Delta2783[/QUOTE]


So whoever is putting these ideas in their minds can be the ones to tell them it's for big kids and adults.

kimandjim74

It seems that there is this immediate assumption that if there are small children in the family, you will have a RB and FG.  If there are so many of them, I think it is hard to choose.  If you include them all, it becomes a bit ridiculous. 

I don't think that giving the kids 'work' to do is a bad thing; if they don't mind.  Generally speaking, kids 6 and over (School-aged, developmentally speaking) are into things like this.  It makes them feel important.  I know my daughter would hve felt that way a couple of years ago.  You have to know the kids involved.  Ask thier parents (your sibs) what they think would be a good job for them, explaining that you really didn't envision the whole group of kids in teh wedding party, but still want them to play a special role on that day.