How to ask FI's good friend/my acquaintance to be a BM?

jesselyn&k

My FI has been friends with a girl since high school. I know how much it would mean to FI to include her in our wedding party and I would be more than happy to! But to me, she is more of an acquaintance. She is also out of town for us. All the poems and stuff I've been reading of how to ask someone to be a BM seems cheesy to me and we don't really have much of a history since I only know her through FI.

Should I just write a nice note to her on a pretty blank card saying that we would both really like her to be involved in our wedding party? What would be the best way to go about asking her?

jagore08

If she's a friend of your FI then why doesn't he ask her to stand on his side?  Sides don't have to be all girls on one side and all guys on the other.

twilight.rose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_ask-fis-good-friendmy-acquaintance-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3044628e-8da0-4943-982e-6eb7bae20cc6Post:37e90d8e-a651-4d6a-96fe-c02792e4a84d">Re: How to ask FI's good friend/my acquaintance to be a BM?</a>:
[QUOTE]If she's a friend of your FI then why doesn't he ask her to stand on his side?  Sides don't have to be all girls on one side and all guys on the other.
Posted by jagore08[/QUOTE]
This. My best friend is a guy. He stood with me, and it was awesome. I actually can't imagine getting married without him standing on my side.

JadziaDax

A poem or some grand gesture isn't really necessary. I think it's just simple: all you have to do is ask, or have your FI ask if that would make you feel more comfortable. The note idea sounds good as well.

bablingbrooke

Pick up the phone and call.  That's how I asked mine.  Ditto PPs that this gal can stand on your FI's side if you barely know her.  There's no law that says the WP sides must be same-gender.

tldh

I've been a bridesmaid many times and was never asked by any grand gestures.  In college my friend who worked in a hardware store with me asked me to be her bridesmaid between rushes of customers.  Pick up the phone and call her. 

mysticl

All of my BM asking was done via the phone.  Actually, I asked my BFF if she had any dress requirements and said "you know you're the MOH, right?"

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_ask-fis-good-friendmy-acquaintance-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:3044628e-8da0-4943-982e-6eb7bae20cc6Post:591e69f7-8648-4600-a2eb-ea52c08d7e76">Re: How to ask FI's good friend/my acquaintance to be a BM?</a>:
[QUOTE]All of my BM asking was done via the phone.  Actually, I asked my BFF if she had any dress requirements and said "you know you're the MOH, right?"
Posted by mysticl[/QUOTE]

I didn't even ask my SIL to be my MOH.  I just told her to pick a day to go shopping for her dress.  When we got to the bridal salon, I told her to pick whatever she wanted because she and my brother were going to be the only members of the WP.

CTGirl30

Sounds like it would make a lot more sense for your FI to ask her to stand on his side as a grooms' attendant since it's his good friend and more of an acquaintance to you.
As PPs have noted, sides do not need to be segregated by gender.

trix1223

I'm with your FI's good friend being in his WP.  She still can wear the same dress the BMs are wearing.  She can still carry flowers.  But she stands next to her good friend rather than her acquaintance.

BluValkyrie

I'm pretty much gonna agree with what all the PPs said; best way is to just pick up the phone and ask her, but ti should be your FI asking her to stand up for him.

Belle2Be

I'm making these for my BM's
http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/good-thing/letter-perfect

And my FI's cousin is going to stand for me, but I like her alot and if we lived closer I could see us being close