Wedding Party

BM dress price

I feel like there have been a ton of posts on this recently.  I'm interested in finding out the general consensus on the WPB.
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Re: BM dress price

  • I couldn't justify spending more than $150 on a dress that I'm likely never going to wear again.  Preferably as a BM I'd like to keep it under $100, but I know that price point is a lot harder to find, so I think $150 is a good compromise.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • I'd spend between $100 and $150 on an actual BM dress.  If the bride was looking at places like J.Crew I'd consider increasing the budget depending on the dress itself.

    I've worn J.Crew dresses that they'll call "BM" dresses several times.  It'll take some work to make a BM dress actually re-wearable.
  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    First Comment
    edited February 2010
    I picked dresses that were $125 for my girls. I'm with Aerin, I would probably never spend more than $150 pre-alterations unless I just knew I could seriously "cut it and wear it again".

    When I was in BSC friend's wedding, the dress was $175, pre-alterations (And you all know I can't wear that again) ... she never asked for a budget, and DH was in the wedding as well, so between the dress, the alterations, DH's tux (Which they also never asked on a budget for), the pro-hair and the pro nails (Both that she made everybody get, but refused to pay for because she wasn't requiring that we "match") and the gifts, it was like $700 to be in her wedding. She did pay for our matching shoes ($10 sandals from Target) and jewelry ($15 neckalce/earring combo from Avon), and that was our "gift".

    This was also the summer that gas was like $4 a gallon here, and she insisted on doing everything local to her (Even though 4 out of 5 BMs lived in the same town, 45 minutes away from her) ... so it probably was closer to $1000 with all of the traveling DH and I had to do for everything.

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  • That's crazy, meg!

    Ditto aerin - I'd really prefer under $100, but from dress shopping I know it's really hard to find.  I wanted them to be the same color (not black) and length, and not shiny like satin.  And my BMs, while all about the same jean size, have completely different body shapes.  The stuff at JCrew/Ann Taylor sales and Target were not their style and my sister hated everything at DB.  Ultimately the dresses were $135 at Alfred Angelo and we got them for just under $100 at Pearl's Place.
  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    First Comment
    edited February 2010
    Gotta, her wedding put such a huge strain on our friendship. She was just such a bridezilla about everything ... which made me really want to shoot her at the RD when she was saying to us "Oh, you guys got so lucky to be in my BP, you don't know how many girls would kill to be BMs for such a laid back bride" ... The MOH and I  (Who probably caught the most flack from her out of everybody) just smiled and walked away to find the bar after that.

    Seriously, if DH and I didn't think her husband was awesome, we would have been done with her after their wedding.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • I voted for $150-$200, just because the BM dress I found is $155.  I would rather keep it in the $150/under range and as a BM I would rather spend $150 or less, but for $5 for a better fitting dress, both as a bride and a BM I think it's worth the price.
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  • I think another thing that brides really "forget" when they pick a BM dress, is that it's not just the dress the girls pay for. Like my math above, that $175 dress, really cost me almost $1,000 ... and honestly, if we took DH out of the wedding (So it would just be my expenses as a BM), it would have only knocked it down to $800, which is still an awful lot of money for a dress I'm really never wearing again.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • I think with all that, I would have insisted on doing my own hair and nails, skipped pre-wedding parties and not been able to afford a gift still.  And of course, probably been asked whether I would prefer to step down.  But that's without the clarification of her her husband being awesome.
  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    First Comment
    edited February 2010
    I'd also never been a BM before ... so I had no idea that I was allowed to "step down" ... oh, if I'd only known!

    And actually, she did kick out a BM (And replaced her!) at one point, but to this day, I don't know the real reason. She says it's because the girl (Who lived in Florida) refused to order the dress on time ... but the girl was "out" and "replaced" before the rest of us ordered dresses, and "new girl" was with us the day we ordered ... I really have no idea what happened there.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • SarahPLizSarahPLiz member
    First Comment
    edited February 2010
    I put $100-$150 because that would be my personal budget for retail. I, however, and a bargain shopper, so I would not be ordering from the shop in most cases.

    I think it depends on the formality of the wedding, but generally you can even find evening gowns in this price range if you are resourceful.

    FWIW, the most expensive piece of clothing I own is a $130 BM dress, from when I was a replacement. Alterations were $60. I also drove the bride 8 hours round trip for her b-party (horrible night), got 2 speeding tickets (one for b-party, one because she forgot her veil for her hair trial), and shuttled her family and BP around the day of. Her wedding gift was redo-ing her and her FI's prior year taxes and the current year taxes to get them better refunds and avoid another audit. It was an expensive undertaking for me, but we are still really good friends.
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  • Of the three weddings I have been in the dresses were all about $200 pre-alterations.
  • Anything over $150 would be out of my budget, and probably a stretch at that.  I always need alterations (because I'm so short) so the cost is never just the dress's price.

    I've been asked to spend upwards of $300 before.

  • Ideally under 100 but realistically under 150.

    It depends on how much say I get in the dress and how flexible the bride is.  I was in a wedding last summer and the dress was 160 and the MOH picked it out without any opinions from the other 5 BMs.  I found it online for 100 but the bride wanted to order from a local bridal shop for her "peace of mind."  I think that was ridiculous.

    If I get a say in the dress and think I will wear it again or can alter it to make it wearable, I'm willing to pay more. 
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  • Ideally for my BM's, we're getting the dresses made for them. There's plenty of seamstresses in my family who have offered to do so. Plus I want them to all be a bit different and their preferences. Besides, even if they won't wear them again, it's not a huge waste of funds. I've been in 2 weddings. First dress was $110 and the second was $160. I had alterations done out of shop, thank goodness. I found them both to be reasonable prices (haven't worn either since though). The thing with me is, my dress was $50, maybe up to $150 total after the changes I make (I'm guessing high). I can't feel right about making my BM's pay way more.
    I'd choke if someone asked me to pay over 300 for a dress.
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  • my bridemaids dresses were $40 and none of them are going to need alterations.
    I guess I got lucky.
  • I'm asking my 1 MOH to buy a dress that is $135 but we are waiting for it to go on sale and she most likely won't need alterations since it's just a simple/short dress.

    I was told by a friend that we'd be getting dresses from DavidsBridal so the BM dresses would be $125-150 range.  When it actually came down to it my dress is from a boutique, $250 pre alterations and WILL need alterations since it didnt even come in the correct length.

    Awesome huh.
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  • Courtney-where on earth did you find $40 BM dresses? I need to get my hands on those!

    I feel really bad, because I asked two of my friends to be BMs without asking a budget. I have a fairly large WP, but most of them are siblings and my parents are fronting the cost of my sister's dresses and had no problem with the $150 from DB. If anyone knows a reputable place I can find modest (my mother would die before seeing her daughters in strapless/spaghetti straps) BM dresses for less than that please let me know. 
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  • I've been in 5 weddings with BM dresses costing between $150-$280. I wish the brides would have asked me what my budget was. I don't want my BMs spending more than $120, if I can find anything cheaper, I'm going for it. A friend of mine found her BM dresses at Dillards for $35 during a sale, so I'm keeping my eyes open for deals like that.

    Meg, I hear your pain on that one. One month I was in two weddings, one in Vegas and one about 4 hours from where I lived. I paid for the dresses ($150 for one, $180 for the other), alterations, plane tickets to Vegas, hotel room, hair ($110 in Vegas - and I didn't have a choice to do my own hair), gas for driving to the wedding 4 hours away and gifts for the showers/wedding and cost to throw the bachelorette parties. I think that month I spent around $1500 on both of them. So I agree, those dresses (that I'll never wear again) cost me alot more than $150-180.
    OP, all I can advise you is to put yourselve in your WP's shoes. If you think the dress is too expensive and isn't something you'd wear again, then find something that is. Talk to your WP and see what their budgets are. Check online and see if you can find a style you like that may be cheaper than you can find at stores.
  • Kay, it was really bad with the hair and nails thing, because she insisted on mani-pedis ... but since she was giving us a "choice" between matching the dresses or French, she felt that it was our job to pay for it. The dresses were a horrible shade of orange (That we all hated), so you can guess what everybody's "choice" was. She also made everybody go to "her" place (Like booked an appointment the day before and we all had to go "or we were 'out'"), so it cost me $70 ... and my frickin' nails were chipped like 2 hours later! When they chipped (It was at the RD), she saw it and was like "Oh, it's no big deal, nobody's going to see your nails anyway" (Um why the f*** did I have to spend $70 on my nails then?)-which is where the "Oh you guys were so lucky, I could have been such a Bridezilla" comment was made.

    Same thing with the hair, since she was only requiring that it be "pro" (Same thing as the nails, she booked everybody at "her" place the morning of-and her salon is over-priced even by salon standards), she felt it was ours to pay for, since we were allowed to pick the hair style. I pretty much opted to get my hair curled and just had a few of the front strands pinned up with bobby pins ... since my hair was past my shoulders it was the cheapest style I could get, and that cost me $120.

    My friend is actually somewhat infamous on this board now for all the nightmare things she said and did as a bride (And then she tried to force her way into my own BP) ... I think a big part of why I was a good bride, was because I just made it a point to do the exact opposite of my friend, lol.

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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • Meg, I agree. Some of the girls that I was in their WP have taught me what NOT to do now that I'm planning my own wedding. While I wasn't happy spending all that money, I didn't complain because I wanted the bride to be happy because I thought that's what BMs did....was to suck it up because it wasn't our day it was her day. Reading all these posts on this site, I wish I would have known some of the things I do now. I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience. But at least it's something you have learned from and won't be repeating :)
    While I'm glad I'm not being a bridezilla, I have a bridesmaidzilla...my FSIL is one of my BMs and she insists that they need a dress over $175 (because she wants one that she found at a bridal store). I'm arguing with her that it's too much. Then she called me the other day and told me that she found a flowergirl dress (her daughter is the FG) and that she was going to buy it because it was too cute to pass up. I finally talked her out of it, because I haven't even bought my dress (we're not getting married for another 15 months). She also insists that we have fake flowers for the wedding because she's allergic to everything (and our wedding is outdoors in the summer). I'm to the point of turning the wedding planning over to her and let her do it because she's driving me crazy!!! (I'm really not going to do that, but there's times I want to tell her that)
  • I chose $100-$150, but for me, it was up to my BMs.  I gave them a length and color at Davids Bridal and they all went in when they could and picked one they liked.  All three spend about $150 for their dresses, but it was there decision - I like it better that way. Less pressure on me to make all three happy.
  • My BM dress is 125.00 but I know with accessories, shoes, and alterations, it wil be towards the 250.00 range altogether. So I am happy I found a relativly inexpensive dress for my girls. =) I couldn't imagine having them spend 300 or more on a dress and it isn't even their wedding! If that was the case, and I wanted a certain dress I would have to buy it for them. That is completely unfair to have someone buy a 300.00 dress for your wedding!
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  • I said $150-200. I would love something under $150 as a BM, but since I normally would spend up to $200 on a dress, I'm ok with it...I know I won't get as much wear out of a BM dress as I would out of one I bought for myself, but that for me is outweighed by the fact that it's doing something for a friend. If I couldn't afford that at any point, I would say so, but right now although it's not cheap I can swing it.

    That said, I do feel really bad that my shortest BM (who also ordered her dress too big somehow, despite measuring herself) spent almost $100 on alterations, bringing her cost up closer to $300. I rarely need to get stuff altered, so I never imagined it could cost so much! She didn't bat an eye though, since she said all her clothes have to at least be hemmed, so she's used to it.
  • Wow I actually feel really bad.  I picked out my bridesmaid dresses before I even knew to ask the budget.  My dresses are $168.  I am helping a couple of the girls with the cost but they will still have to pay for alterations but i'm not requiring anything else.  They can pick their own shoes. I'll have a hairstylist there if they want it.  I just wish I would have looked around some more before picking the dress.  Weddings are very expensive to be in.
  • My girls' dresses were $75 at Macys - we ended up going shopping together and they chose them.

    If I was picking the dress and making them wear it, I'd say no more than $150, although I spent over $200 pre alterations on my friend's wedding last year.

    Same as others, I was not only told I'd get a say in picking the dress, but that it it wouldn't be too expensive. A few weeks later I saw via a facebook post that she had not only chosen the (ugly fugly) dress for us to wear, but that it was from a boutique and over $200.

    To top it off, she's now divorced less than a year later.

    I promised promised promised myself I wouldn't do that to my bridesmaids. Although part of me is really jealous that I had to go through that when my girls are getting off easy :)
  • I said 100-150 because the dresses I picked are $100 but I recently paid $145 for a wedding I'll be a bridesmaid in.  All of my BMs will need some alterations, and 2 will need a huge amount done to their dresses so I tried to find the cheapest dress possible.
  • I picked $150-$200.  My dress for my girls is $159.  None of them batted an eye when I told them how much because they all love the dress.  They can pick whatever shoes they want as long as they're silver.  I'm taking care of jewelry, but they're taking care of their hair.

    As for my cousin's wedding that I'm in just 3 months before my wedding (and she's my MOH).......our dresses are $240.  Thankfully, we got a 20% discount because it's a little boutique and she got her dress there too.  But the thing that's a pain is that she wants us to have hot pink shoes.  Not fuschia...not light pink...hot pink.  There can be no hint of purple in them.  Yeah...try finding those.  It's been one headache after another trying to find these. 
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  • The only person standing up for me is my sister.  I let her choose whatever dress she wanted, just so long as it was one of the colors in the wedding (she chose aqua).  She looks beautiful no matter what she wears, so I didn't expect her to go over-board on the dress.  She chose one for $200, but got $25 off - no alterations, and she's going to dye it black after my wedding and will definitely wear it again.  I was surprised she spent so much, but she loves the dress (so do I)!  I told her to pick whatever shoes she wanted, and we're going jewelry shopping together. 
    I was in a friend's wedding, and she let us basically do the same thing.  Me, along with the 7 other BM got to pick whatever dress we wanted (from a designer the bride chose), just so long as it was a certain color.  I ended up paying $160, which I didn't think was too bad, considering it could've been a lot worse!

  • I chose between 150 and 200.  That's about how much I've spent for every wedding I've been in, and my BM's paid $143 for their dresses.  They all need alterations, so I know it will cost them about $200+ in the end.  I think if you keep all the other costs minimal, that is reasonable.  For instance, my MOH is really good friends with an hair salon owner and we are only paying $25 each for hair and $10 for makeup if they want it.  The dresses are black and long, so I told everyone they could wear whatever shoes they wanted, most are not even buying new shoes.  And I really have no opinion on nails...so if they want them done that's up to them.
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  • I tried to make it really easy on my two BMs. My request to them: apple red (David's Bridal) or similar, knee length, any style you feel comfortable in. One ordered hers from David's, the other is sewing her own because she loves to sew and can't afford to spend $100 on a dress right now. I guess it helps that we are going for a more casual feel. The girl that picked her dress from David's loves it and swears she will wear it on a date in the future.
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