Help - I have no bridal party

melissadefelice

I have never really made any close girl friends in my life.  I have had friends over the years, many were men, but I never made a very close connection with any.  I usually have good friends for a few years then we drift apart and I meet new people.  The only women I know now are through my fiance (wives/girlfriends of his friends) and women with which I work.  None of these people are close enough to me to ask to be in my wedding.  I don't even hang out with these people outside of larger social events.

My fiance, on the other hand, has MANY guy friends (he was also in a frat) and told me he could have up to 8 groomsmen. 

I alreayd know I will not have equal numbers on both sides of the wedding party.  So far, I have asked a female cousin of mine, his second cousin, and my sister-in-law to be bridesmaids.  I am not very close with either of them.  The one girlfriend I have/had who I always thought would be my maid of honor has become very flaky, even more so when I told her I was getting married to the man she never really liked.  She belongs to a group of friends that were the closest I have had and were like family to me.  However, we all moved apart, and I seem to have been left out of group get-to-gethers over the past two years.  They only met my fiance twice in the two years we have been dating, and both times were awkward as this "group" and him are very different in personality.  I am guessing I was "dumped" by them because of this. (BTW - they are all not girls, guys too, so it's not a jealous girl thing at all)

Having a bridal party is not very important to me.   I would prefer to just have myself up there with my fiance and not worry about a bridal party or a maid of honor.  The focus of my day is to get married and I have the wedding pretty much planned and settled, so I don't need a gaggle of women helping me.  At this point, it  is too uspetting to have some girls up there that I picked out of necessity than the few friends I "use" to have that I always thought would be standing there with me.

Can I just ditch the bridal party thing - even though he will have so many men on his side?  My fiance keeps asking what my plans are so he can ask his guyfriends. 

aerinpegadrak

Have you already asked these girls?  If not, don't.  Asking people you aren't close to is a recipe for drama.  If you've already asked them, you're kind of stuck with them, because there's no way to boot them and remain friends, and if they're all family that's just way more trouble than it's worth.  (Family drama over stupid wedding stuff can literally last a lifetime; my mom has aunts and uncles she's never met or spoken to because of some stupid thing at a wedding 60 years ago.)  They don't have to be super involved, just pick out a dress (or, for even more hands off, just give them some guidelines and let them pick), and tell them when to show up on the wedding day.

You don't have to have anyone up there with you.  If you have male friends or relatives that you're close to, they can stand with you as well.  Your numbers shouldn't have any impact on his: if it's 8 and 0, that's fine.  A good photographer will figure out how to make the pictures balanced.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridal-party-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:34185cda-7068-4872-a944-3580837c794bPost:40f54951-4b16-404c-9500-c2c5b684b707">Help - I have no bridal party</a>:
[QUOTE]I have never really made any close girl friends in my life.  I have had friends over the years, many were men, but I never made a very close connection with any.  I usually have good friends for a few years then we drift apart and I meet new people.  The only women I know now are through my fiance (wives/girlfriends of his friends) and women with which I work.  None of these people are close enough to me to ask to be in my wedding.  I don't even hang out with these people outside of larger social events. My fiance, on the other hand, has MANY guy friends (he was also in a frat) and told me he could have up to 8 groomsmen.  I alreayd know I will not have equal numbers on both sides of the wedding party.  So far, I have asked a female cousin of mine, his second cousin, and my sister-in-law to be bridesmaids.  I am not very close with either of them.  The one girlfriend I have/had who I always thought would be my maid of honor has become very flaky, even more so when I told her I was getting married to the man she never really liked.  She belongs to a group of friends that were the closest I have had and were like family to me.  However, we all moved apart, and I seem to have been left out of group get-to-gethers over the past two years.  They only met my fiance twice in the two years we have been dating, and both times were awkward as this "group" and him are very different in personality.  I am guessing I was "dumped" by them because of this. (BTW - they are all not girls, guys too, so it's not a jealous girl thing at all) Having a bridal party is not very important to me.   I would prefer to just have myself up there with my fiance and not worry about a bridal party or a maid of honor.  The focus of my day is to get married and I have the wedding pretty much planned and settled, so I don't need a gaggle of women helping me.  At this point, it  is too uspetting to have some girls up there that I picked out of necessity than the few friends I "use" to have that I always thought would be standing there with me. Can I just ditch the bridal party thing - even though he will have so many men on his side?  My fiance keeps asking what my plans are so he can ask his guyfriends. 
Posted by melissadefelice[/QUOTE]

banana468

If you have asked people it's too late.  However if you haven't, it's fine to not have anyone up there or to have just one if you want.  I went to a wedding years ago where the bride had a MOH and the grom had a BM and six GM.  It was lovely. 

trix1223

You get to pick your WP.  He gets to pick his.  So if you don't want anyone, don't have any WP (your life will be very drama free!).  If he wants 8 he picks 8.

And then you enjoy your wedding.  GL

melissadefelice

Yeah, I asked my sister-in-law, my cousin, and his cousin. There won't be any drama with these girls.  They are family and are happy to be in it.  I just wouldn't have one to be a maid of honor.  Looks like I have those three - and no MOH - which is fine.  I just need someone to sign the paper.

notaprincessbride

Don't forget, you don't have to pick only women.  If there are guys, either friends or relatives, you're closer too, ask them.   Pick the people you want to stand up with you based on your relationship with them, not on their gender or how many people your FI picks.

AMWillia

Pick some guys! If your Fiancee is fine with it then have your guys friends do it.

Otherwise do you have an aunt/even mom that you could ask? Its not traditional but WHO CARES! If you're close to your mom and she's important to you have her stand up with you--that's all the MOH is.

Really, in the end, it doesn't matter if it's uneven--everyone is right, it's your day and you should get what you want :-)

Good luck!

emilykathleen511

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridal-party-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:34185cda-7068-4872-a944-3580837c794bPost:2ba231e0-4204-4811-863b-3bf1fb992891">Re: Help - I have no bridal party</a>:
[QUOTE]Pick some guys! If your Fiancee is fine with it then have your guys friends do it.
Posted by AMWillia[/QUOTE]

I don't really understand your post. What does her fiance have to do with who she picks for her attendants?

stacelace22

Don't worry about it being even....it is your day, and you want to be comfortable with who is in your wedding party.

Stick with the ones you have asked...it will be just fine!

kirtlandb

If it really bothers you, maybe you could rummage around and find one girl to be MOH? Then you could divide up your fiance's 8 and put some on your side to sort of even it out... you could even have their vests coordinate with your MOH's dress color....


I was actually toying with that idea. My fiance has tons of guys that could be his groomsmen, but I only had one lonely best friend (always closer with guys!). I thought about having my guy friends be on my side with matching vests under the jacket.

Then I realized I could also ask his groomsmen's girlfriends to be on my side.