Why Not To Ask Friends To Be In Wedding Party....

PhoneCardLady

....as least when you haven't been engaged long or set a date.

Recently FI and I had our first fight, which lasted a month. (FYI, we have been together 18 months).  I spoke about it with my two BFF (who I wanted to stand up for me) and due to misunderstandings, things have blown up.  The last emails from them left me wondering if they wanted to give up on the problem or our relationship (of 40 years).

I thank God I did not ask them to be in my WP as soon as I got engaged!  Also, some things were said by one friend before I had the fight with FI that made me wonder if I should even ask her.

So ladies, think long and hard before asking your friends to stand up for you, and I agree, you really shouldn't ask until six months before the wedding.  Sh!t happens!

GoodLuckBear14

This should also be a lesson to you to keep your arguments with your FI to yourself.  Once you bring friends into it, they are going to see the a-hole that you were b*tching about and not see how or why you and this wonderful man made up. 

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_why-not-to-ask-friends-to-be-in-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:3497c263-cb65-43ac-a245-abdc9c7eadffPost:989d13c7-9951-4001-8566-9a5bfbb3c5cb">Re: Why Not To Ask Friends To Be In Wedding Party....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why Not To Ask Friends To Be In Wedding Party.... : This.   The only people I ever complain about DH to is a group of closeknit online friends who don't really have any interaction with him aside from some FB and who are brutally honest with me when I'm wrong or overreacting.  I never complain to people that share our lives together for exactly this reason.  It is very easy to taint someone's opinion of your SO and very difficult to repair it once that happens.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Yep.  because of my BFF's constant b*tching about her husband the first year of their marriage (including being pressured into having kids right away and giving up an in-house counsel job at a big software firm to be a SAHM and promote his dental practice) I still cannot understand how she stays married to the guy.  There has to be something there that I just cannot see though.

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_why-not-to-ask-friends-to-be-in-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:3497c263-cb65-43ac-a245-abdc9c7eadffPost:928eb3b5-ef58-44c9-a04d-12c71dd36a30">Re: Why Not To Ask Friends To Be In Wedding Party....</a>:
[QUOTE]This should also be a lesson to you to keep your arguments with your FI to yourself.  Once you bring friends into it, they are going to see the a-hole that you were b*tching about and not see how or why you and this wonderful man made up. 
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

My thoughts exactly

bonge

\i try not to talk about many problems we have. I have done it in the past & it majorly clouds judgement.

I don't understand how you guys could have a fight that lasts a month though. That just totally blows my mind.

I also learned my lesson the hard way abotu asking ppl too soon.