8 year old Godson as the BM

lilikas23

My FI is unsure as to whom to invite as his BM.  He had mentioned that he would put his 3 brother's names into a hat and pick one.  Then again, he mentioned that one of his brothers was his BM in his 1st marriage, so he wouldn't want to pick him again.  I personally, think he is not very close to his brothers and would prefer to see him choose a BFF instead.  However, it is not my decision, and have kept my mouth shut. 

I, on the other end, have chosen a MOH, but have not invited her yet due to FI's procrastination.  So, after his sister brought up the subject and gave her own 2 cents on her thoughts of the names out of a hat situation, I've come to the conclusion that maybe in fact, his brothers are not the ideal BM for FI.  Still, I remain quiet...

As our New Year's Eve wedding date approaches, I've been giving this topic much thought.  And...I'm itching to ask my MOH already!  Given the circumstances of this wedding...untraditional, backwards, 2nd marriage for both, etc., last night at dinner, I suggested to FI his 8 year old Godson, Nathan, as his BM.  He had a smile from ear to ear.  Nathan is FI little prodigy and would be HONORED (not to mention he had a major crush on me when I met him at the age of 5..it was cute and he is completely over it now...I think) He was very pensive throughout he rest of the meal and every time he spoke of Nathan he had this little smurk on his face.  Based on his reaction, I would have to say, he LOVED the idea...his only concern is Nathan's age.  He is under the impression that the "witness" should be 18 years of age.  MOH is 32...wouldn't that be good enough to sign a marriage cert?  The cermony will be witnessed by numerous people anyway.  Really, in my opinion, the only thing Nathan will not be able to carry out is planning the bachelor party.lol.

Does anyone know of any obstacles that would keep from making this happening

stina93446

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_8-year-old-godson-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:34c08a2c-b278-402e-97a6-493491ba66ecPost:3f685df2-1b4b-499e-b2d4-1b67c09b1de3">8 year old Godson as the BM</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI is unsure as to whom to invite as his BM.  He had mentioned that he would put his 3 brother's names into a hat and pick one.  Then again, he mentioned that one of his brothers was his BM in his 1st marriage, so he wouldn't want to pick him again.  I personally, think he is not very close to his brothers and would prefer to see him choose a BFF instead.  However, it is not my decision, and have kept my mouth shut.  I, on the other end, have chosen a MOH, but have not invited her yet due to FI's procrastination.  So, after his sister brought up the subject and gave her own 2 cents on her thoughts of the names out of a hat situation, I've come to the conclusion that maybe in fact, his brothers are not the ideal BM for FI.  Still, I remain quiet... As our New Year's Eve wedding date approaches, I've been giving this topic much thought.  And...I'm itching to ask my MOH already!  Given the circumstances of this wedding...untraditional, backwards, 2nd marriage for both, etc., last night at dinner, I suggested to FI his 8 year old Godson, Nathan, as his BM.  He had a smile from ear to ear.  Nathan is FI little prodigy and would be HONORED (not to mention he had a major crush on me when I met him at the age of 5..it was cute and he is completely over it now...I think) He was very pensive throughout he rest of the meal and every time he spoke of Nathan he had this little smurk on his face.  Based on his reaction, I would have to say, he LOVED the idea...his only concern is Nathan's age.  He is under the impression that the "witness" should be 18 years of age.  MOH is 32...wouldn't that be good enough to sign a marriage cert?  The cermony will be witnessed by numerous people anyway.  Really, in my opinion, the only thing Nathan will not be able to carry out is planning the bachelor party.lol. Does anyone know of any obstacles that would keep from making this happening
Posted by lilikas23[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>The bm does not have to plan the B party. Obviously as a child, he would not be responsible for this, nor would anyone expect him to. The other gm will plan it if they want, and if they don't, then FI does not get a party. It's a gift, not a requirement.

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mbcdefg

Anyone who wants to throw a bachelor party will volunteer to do so. It's not automatically the Best Man's job. USUALLY it's the Best Man, but that's because he is typically the groom's dearest friend. Not because it's his obligation and he has to do it. Because your dearest friend is typically the person who would WANT to do something nice for you.
 
If someone can wear the tux and stand quietly for the ceremony, he's fulfilled the obligations of the Best Man. If a minor winds up being Best Man, just ask an adult to sign as the official witness if it's needed.

It's also O.K. not to have a Best Man at all. You can have a Maid of Honor without a Best Man, so there's no reason why your decision has to wait until your FI has made up his mind.

Leave it up to your FI entirely.

CTGirl30

It's really your FI's decision - you also don't have to wait until he asks his BM / GMs to ask your MOH. Go ahead and ask her if you want.
You don't need one to have the other. (Case in point - my FI has a Best Man but I do not have a MOH - I simply have 4 BMs b/c I couldn't choose amongst them).

And like pps said, anyone can throw the Bach party for your FI if they so decide to do that. But...it's not a given. It's tradition, yes, but not every guy gets one or even wants one.  [Another case in point - my FI is not having one. My girls are taking me out for a nice dinner and to spend the night having a girls' sleepover type thing - even though we're in our 30's....guess you're never too old for that ;-) ].  Obvs nobody would expect an 8 yr old to take that on so if someone else steps up to organize that, great. If not...it doesn't happen. Also, itg varies by state how many witnesses you need to have to sign the marriage license so if you only need one, MOH can certainly do it. Or your parents, or anyone who was there for the ceremony really.

lilikas23

I apologize for being unclear.  Our concern is not whether there would be a bach. party planned out by the BM or not.  I was merely making a joke.  We are more-so concerned with the legallity of a minor taking over the important role of Best Man.  I've read elsewhere that couples with children from previous marriages have their sons/daughters stand as MOH & BM based on the simple fact that they are important people in the bride and groom's lives.  Neither of us have children.  we were just wondering if anyone has seen or heard of another wedding like this?  Or anything that would impede a minor's ability to be FI's BM?

stina93446

Just have someone else sign the marriage license. Your god son will still get the honor of being the bm, but since he can't do the license signing, have a gm do it.

trix1223

Anyone of legal age who witnesses the ceremony can sign the license.  When my sister and BIL were married, they didn't have any WP.  Our mom and his dad signed the license as witnesses.

There is NO legal obligation for any member of the WP.  It is a completely honorary "position".

spenet1

I think it is a wonderful idea to have the 8 yr old as BM! It will obviously be more a title thing than responsibility, but it sounds like FI has his fair share of groomsmen to pick up the slack. You can have anyone sign the certificate, and would be a very nice - and very adorable! - gesture