.

franticbride2

.

Beachy730

Ditto both PPs exactly.  If I was asked to be a brides personal assistant or attendant I would wonder what lottery in hell I won. 

bablingbrooke

Personal Attendant is a crap job, not an honor.  Ask the twin you're closest to.  They're not six anymore--they're adults.  One can handle the other being included in something without them.  If not, that's a bigger issue she has that you don't need to worry about.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_split-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:34dd64d3-7993-4a77-a20f-237d6c4ecc6fPost:d99de059-cf57-428f-a129-f9306dcc2fea">Split them up?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have two friends who are twins, but am better friends with one than the other. The one I get along with great, and the other one so-so. I would rather have the one who I am not as close with as a PA. Is it ok to split up twins, or should I just suck it up and have them both?
Posted by franticbride2[/QUOTE]
Unless they are conjoined, I'm sure it would be fine to split them up. :)

lalap69

You don't need to have them both just because they are twins.  They're twins, not clones.  Ask the one you're closest to to be a bm, and let the other retain some dignity and attend as a guest.  You don't have to give her b**** work.

HKD817

Just because they are twins does not mean they have to be together for everything. I am sure it will be fine if you split them

jaimed99

My BFF is a twin, and she is a BM...her sister will be lucky if she's invited, since she's usually pretty crappy toward me...point-treat them as separate people

FWIW, BFF isn't even having her twin as a BM in her own wedding...

aerinpegadrak

I've known a lot of twins in my life, including my siblings.  They hate hate HATE being treated as one entity.  They're two separate people with separate interests, treat them as such.

TheCranberry

What is a personal attendant?  I never heard of this (as a non-paid position) until I got on The Knot.

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_split-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:34dd64d3-7993-4a77-a20f-237d6c4ecc6fPost:21b7783b-9dbf-435b-92b6-9a9c02085a52">Re: Split them up?</a>:
[QUOTE]What is a personal attendant?  I never heard of this (as a non-paid position) until I got on The Knot.
Posted by TheCranberry[/QUOTE]
It's the paid position, only not paid.  For some reason some brides think it's an honor to bestow upon someone who didn't make the cut for the WP.  It's also very useless--you don't need THAT much help getting dressed on your wedding day.

megk8oz

Ditto Aerin. Every twin I know actually finds it pretty insulting when people just assume they should be treated exactly the same as their other sibling just because they happen to have the exact same birthday. They are individual people, they have separate personalities, separate interests and separate friends ... it's really not any different then if they were siblings born on separate days.

How are you dealing with your other BMs who have sisters they don't share a birthday with? Are you scrounging to find positions for them? Are you even thinking about inviting them to the wedding? If not, then why should this girl be treated any different?

Have the girl you want as a BM ... you do not need to find a pity job or "suck it up" or include the other one on some level if you don't want to.

franticbride2

Wow, how ruthless can people really be? Well, just go to theknot.com wedding boards and you will see! I ask a simple question and get freaked out on. First of all, I have NEVER been to a wedding in which the bride did not have a personal attendent. How would I know it is a crap job if I have only known it to be an honor? I have friends who have been personal attendents and were honored to be in that position. Apparently, to you people, you are a nobody if you aren't a bridesmaid. Second, these girls are attached at the hip. There would be HUGE jealousy issues if I chose one and not the other. So, unfortunately I cannot thank you for the CRAP advice I just got, so lets leave it at that.

tidetravel

Lucky dawg.

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_split-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:34dd64d3-7993-4a77-a20f-237d6c4ecc6fPost:54c79328-8ed9-4c98-bf23-aa52f169043e">Re: Split them up?</a>:
[QUOTE]Lucky dawg.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]
Signs point to yes.

megk8oz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_split-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:34dd64d3-7993-4a77-a20f-237d6c4ecc6fPost:dcb7235a-103f-40fb-a5b0-f90566432bff">Re: Split them up?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Split them up? : How is that your problem?  They're adults.  They should probably get used to the fact that life isn't going to always treat them equally.  But, you don't really care what we say, anyway.  Also, riddle me this; if PA was truly an honored position, why do you want the twin that you only get along with "so-so" to do it?  Why not your BFF twin?  Because it's a crap job, and you know it.  Don't let the door hit ya where the lord split ya.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

I couldn't agree more.

It's not like these girls are 7 years-old ... they have to have learned by now that they are not a "packaged deal" everywhere they go. When one of them gets a boyfriend, does that automatically mean the other one has to start dating the guy, too, and get equal affection from him? If they work together, when one of them gets promoted at their job, does the other one automatically assume that they're entitled to one as well? I can wrap my head around them having a close relationship, but I really find it hard to believe that it runs so deep that they must be treated <strong>exactly</strong> the same <strong>100%</strong> of the time.

And if by some chance, they really have <strong>never</strong> done anything differently in their entire lives up until your wedding: it's <strong>still</strong> not your problem. That's something they, as adults, need to work on. They aren't going to last 5 minutes in the real world if they truly expect everybody they ever encounter to love them equally and treat them exactly the same ... it would actually be quite unhealthy if one or both of them truly felt that way by this point in their lives.

And if PA <strong>really</strong> was such an "honor", why <strong>were</strong> you planning on bestowing the position on a girl you really don't like that much? Yeah, I don't buy it. You know it's not an honor, otherwise you'd ask somebody you actually <strong>liked</strong> and wanted to really honor to do the job.

P.S. You were quoted. Both times. So your words didn't magically disappear just because you got all huffy that we didn't blow sunshine up your butt.

lalap69

Awww, she didn't get validated so she took her (quoted) posts and ran away!  Are you sure you're not protecting your own delicate flower disposition onto the twins?

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_split-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:34dd64d3-7993-4a77-a20f-237d6c4ecc6fPost:dcb7235a-103f-40fb-a5b0-f90566432bff">Re: Split them up?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Split them up? : How is that your problem?  They're adults.  They should probably get used to the fact that life isn't going to always treat them equally.  But, you don't really care what we say, anyway.  <strong>Also, riddle me this; if PA was truly an honored position, why do you want the twin that you only get along with "so-so" to do it?  Why not your BFF twin?  Because it's a crap job, and you know it. </strong> Don't let the door hit ya where the lord split ya.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]
This.  Tide makes a most excellent point.

banana468

OP, please don't delete your posts.  It's rude to those who gave advice.

The advice is blunt but I have to agree - if being a PA is an honor then why doesn't it go to the one you're closer to?

Remember, being a GUEST is an honor too - and then you don't need to do anything.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_split-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:34dd64d3-7993-4a77-a20f-237d6c4ecc6fPost:c63196ba-f9bb-49b0-9c51-c7aba0112a55">Re: Split them up?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, how ruthless can people really be? Well, just go to theknot.com wedding boards and you will see! I ask a simple question and get freaked out on. First of all, <strong>I have NEVER been to a wedding in which the bride did not have a personal attendent.</strong> How would I know it is a crap job if I have only known it to be an honor? I have friends who have been personal attendents and were honored to be in that position. Apparently, to you people, you are a nobody if you aren't a bridesmaid. Second, these girls are attached at the hip. There would be HUGE jealousy issues if I chose one and not the other. So, unfortunately I cannot thank you for the CRAP advice I just got, so lets leave it at that.
Posted by franticbride2[/QUOTE]

<div>Everyone you know treats their friends like crap, so you should too?</div><div>
</div><div>Honestly, if you need help realizing that asking someone to do all your bitchwork all day is not an honor, you need more help than you're going to get from a message board.
<div>
</div></div>