bridesmaid help!

cmckenzie9020

Hi ladies, I'm pretty new at this but I need some help! I have picked 1 maid of honor and 3 bridesmaids. They have all been close to me ever since we were all kids. One of my maids has a 2 year old son. She is the only bridesmaid with a child. My fiance and I decided we  don't want children at our wedding. THis one paticular bridesmaid has been making comments all along about how kids aren't invited. She is almost offended he can't come . I've told her that there will only be two children there, my fiance's godson who is the ring bearer and our flowergirl. And honestly, she is so protective over him she's already made it clear she doesn't know who will watch him the day of our wedding which isn't till December 1, 2012. I need help what do i doooo!

kaitlyn&henry

There is nothing wrong with no children at the wedding....we did the same thing A) for budget reasons and our reception was in a historical house.

With your wedding being so far out, she has plenty of time to find someone to babysit or to figure out a plan on what to do. I would ignore the comments and If she directly asks you just politely hold your ground. (We had some people do the same thing).

Good luck!

MyNameIsNot

Stop talking to her about it.  

If she brings it up again, say "I'm sure you'll figure it out" and change the subject.  If she says she can't make it without him, say you're sorry she feels that way and that she'll be missed.  

cmckenzie9020

Thank you! I'm not sure what i'm gonna do. We went bridesmaid dress shopping a month ago I had told her at least a month prior that we were going. She asked me a week before we went if it was ok to bring him. I just said she would have to call the bridal store we were going to. Sure enough.. she brought him. He was running out of the dressing room, knocking things over. I'm just so nervous she's gonna show up to the wedding with him or have to leave in the middle of pictures or something! Part of me just wants to tell her to forget it but I don't want to turn "bridezilla" on her! LOL

Ashleigh828

Is she making these comments to you or to others in your WP? I would honestly just let her know that you and FI have decided to have a kid-free wedding and end it at that. I wouldn't offer any other explanation. It's your wedding and she needs to respect the fact that it'll be adults-only. If she comes right out and asks if he can come, then let her know that no, unfortunately, he cannot come. She has plenty of time to figure out a baby-sitter situation. I wouldn't get into it with her but just keep letting her know (only when provoked) that your wedding is adults-only. End of story.

slgirl21

This is kinda hard, because if you say no kids, but then you have your flower girl and ring bearer and then you tell her no about bringing her son, she might feel a little offended and have a come back, such as" well if its a no kids allowed, they why are your niece and godson coming", its a little touchy and by you describing how is acting in the dressing rooms I wouldn't want him at my wedding either, is this maybe why your not inviting him, if he was well mannered would it make a difference?? I'm playing devils advocated here so and trying to see both view points.

It is your wedding and if you decide to have no children that is your choice because a lot of people do that, my friend who just got married hired a babysitter to watch all the kids and they were not part of the wedding AT All..not even during the ceremony. So think about the comment I said above . Good Luck!

mbcdefg

"We're not inviting kids. Let me know if you need help finding a sitter." Change the subject or walk away after that. Say it once and then don't keep discussing it, because she will just try to wear you down.

If she brings him to the wedding, then you either deal with it, or you tell her there's no seat or meal for him. Or you have the maitre d' escort them out of the reception hall for bringing in uninvited guest.
 
I'm not saying to cave into her (because if you do it for her then you have to do it for everyone), but if she winds up bringing the kid it won't be a big deal. I had two uninvited kids show up to my wedding and they were as good as gold. The kid probably won't be a bother if you don't make it a point to focus on him and be mad at them. If he starts running around like a nut, have a staff member go up to her and tell her to get her kid under control before they're asked to leave.

cmckenzie9020

Well, it's really complicated lol. A lot of her sisters have young kids that age too and if I make any type of exception for her I'll have a huge list of kids that will be attending our wedding. We wanted to include my fiance's  godson and our flowergirl is actually my very young sisiter... long story! LOL So I did explain to her that they will be the youngest kids there. The ring bearer is actually that best man's son, and they have said they're finding a sitter he will probably just stay for the ceremony and part of the reception. And yes if maybe a lot of the kdis are well mannered maybe I would of invited them, but a lot of them would be very disruptive. But thank you for all your input! We still got time to figure things out!

mbcdefg

You don't need to explain it to her. "These two kids are coming because they're in the bridal party and because one is my sister" is MORE than enough. Because when you start explaining things to a stubborn person, they're just going to present a counter-argument to everything you say.

"We're doing XYZ. End of story" is all you need to say. She can either suck it up and follow your wishes, or she can decline attending the wedding/leave early. Her loss.

ajmom2two

In Response to Re:bridesmaid help!:[QUOTE]You don't need to explain it to her. "These two kids are coming because they're in the bridal party and because one is my sister" is MORE than enough. Because when you start explaining things to a stubborn person, they're just going to present a counterargument to everything you say. "We're doing XYZ. End of story" is all you need to say. She can either suck it up and follow your wishes, or she can decline attending the wedding/leave early. Her loss. Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

This exactly!

graysquirrel

Six months is way more than enough time to find a babysitter. That is a piss poor excuse on her part. I would stick to my guns on this if I were you. Like pps said, just flat out tell her that you are not inviting children and move on. Don't have a seat for him and only write the names of those invited on her invitation. If she is a good friend then she will respect your guestlist.

cmckenzie9020

thanks everyone