Bridesmaid's Question

DMD29

Hi all, my cousin just got engaged a couple of weeks ago & is in high planning mode. She's picked out a pricey reception hall and bridesmaid dress ($400!), which is fine by me as long as she's happy (it doesn't hurt that the dress is pretty). She's exhibiting really Bridezilla-like behavior, which doesn't bother me because I'm willing to ignore it. However, what DOES bother me is that she asked me if my young niece will lose weight for her wedding. I understand that she wants everyone to look nice for her wedding, but I feel her comment is really inappropriate. How should I handle this?

banana468

You could always say something like, "It's great that you didn't ask me to lose weight because you wouldn't have liked the response."

But that's really passive-aggressive.

I'd honestly take her out for coffee and tell her that you absolutely love her but some of the things she's doing can be taken as not being a great FRIEND to her BMs.

And while you may be OK with a $400 price tag on a dress, you may want to remind her that if the other BMs weren't consulted, you may all need to start brainstorming unless she's planning to purchase said gold-plated couture dream.

MyNameIsNot

Wow, she's gone nuts.  I'm sure she didn't ask you about your price points before choosing the dress.  That's ridiculous!

I agree that you need to sit her down and explain to her that she's going too far, and that if she keeps up this behavior, she's not going to have any friends left after the wedding.

Or send her a link to the bridezillas casting call. 

aerinpegadrak

It's time for a "come to Jesus" talk.

"Bride, your wedding is one day.  It's ultimately just a party that lasts four hours.  In the name of a four hour party, you're starting to alienate the people closest to you, the people you'll want to have around throughout your marriage.  A lot of women completely destroy their friendships when they go nuts during wedding planning, and I'd hate to see that happen to you.  Yes, it's your day, but if you're not careful, no one's going to want to talk to you when it's done."

Be gentle, but firm.  She may not realize that her behavior is objectionable if no one is objecting, and our society would be much improved if people were forced to face the consequences of their actions.  The consequences of being a 'zilla are having pretty, pretty pictures full of people who are visibly seething at you; just look at the gallery for the show Bridezillas.  Telling someone, particularly a young girl who is likely to be especially fragile, that they need to lose weight for her wedding is way over the line.

stina93446

I think that she is being a huge bridezilla. First off, she should have asked what your price range for the dress was. Secondly, she shouldn't be asking anyone to lose weight. These ideas she has are ridiculous and someone should say something. Just because she gets ONE pretty princess day does not mean that she can demand these things.

saisongbird

The weight issue is pretty terrible.  I've had weight issues all my life, and when my best friend asked me to be a bridesmaid, I said yes right away, and then realized I didn't want to be the fat bridesmaid, so I started dieting.  But it was something I did for MYSELF, not something that I did for HER pictures.  She never mentioned it once, and if I had gained weight, she would still have loved me and wanted me to be there because of who I am to her and our relationship.

When my parents forced me to diet when I was a teenager, what happened?  I gained weight.  A LOT of it.  And it hasn't ever come off - it's just starting to now, 25-30 lbs into the diet that I CHOSE for MYSELF.

Ditto aerin.  It's time this witch, who is giving brides around the world a bad name, gets knocked down a few pegs.

stina93446

Since you're her cousin, it may be good for you to actually say something. You're family. 

ButtonsPepper

This reminds me of a zilla show... only the bride was large, and she had a minimum weight requirement for her BM's.... and one wanted to wear spanx to look better in the dress and the bride told her no...

stina93446

Buttons, I remember that episode. Her name was Christina and she demanded that the girls weigh more than her. She even brought a scale to the salon and had them all weigh in. It was really sad because her biggest bm stood on the scale and then said "I'm off the charts."