Overly helpful bridesmaid dilemma

PMC910

One of my bridesmaids (who I love dearly) has been over-stepping her bounds a little.  She LOVES talking to me about the wedding and is ready to do anything I might ask of her, which is wonderful, and I appreciate that very much.  But, for seemingly every tiny detail relating to the wedding/bachelorette party (and she is often the one to bring it up) she has a suggestion or solution.  While I love that she is so willing to help, she is stepping on my sister/MOH's toes.  My sister feels that she should be the one taking this key role, and I agree, which is why I chose my sis in the first place.  My sister does not live in town and winds up feeling left out because this bridesmaid is taking over.  How do I let this bridesmaid know she needs to back off a little without hurting her?  She is very sensitive when it comes to these things and she is only trying to help, but I'm feeling a need to protect my sister and her role.

Thanks!  Any input is appreciated.

aerinpegadrak

Mel, I don't use the term lol often for reasons outlined in the Cracked article, but I think it might be warranted here.

I also think that they need to sort this out among themselves.  If the MOH feels like she's not being given enough say and wants to take the lead, it's up to her to express that.  However, as brooke pointed out, this bridesmaid absolutely should get a say in anything she's expected to pay for.  Maybe not final say, but her money should not be spent without her consent.

PMC910

Honestly it's not so much a turf war, BM has no idea MOH feels this way.  My sister just feels that her role (which she treasures) is slipping away from her.  Perhaps I just need to spend more time assuring her that she's my MOH for a reason.

PMC910

Thanks everyone.  Much appreciated.  Just gonna leave it be.

garcias1

I was seriously just going to post the same thing as immediately above.  Weird.  But my other advice is the following:  if BM asks questions about things that MOH wants to be in charge of, then just defer to MOH.  Say something like "that's a great question, why don't you talk to MOH, because I know she has some ideas and would be interested in hearing your input."  That way you imply that MOH will be taking a leadership role in regards to the issue-at-hand.  In addition, maybe if BM and MOH have more of an open dialogue, MOH won't feel so self conscious of her role in the whole process.

PMC910

Great idea Garcias, I will do just that.  Thanks.