Too many kids!!!

BCWAY85

My Fiancée has 6 nieces and 3 nephews and I have 1 niece, ages range from 2 months to 14 years. My niece who will be 1 by our wedding day will be one of my flower girls, I would like to have 2 more flower girls to help my niece down the aisle if she is up for it. My Fiancée has chosen to pick the 2 youngest girls who will be 7 and 5, but he wants to include all of the kids so no one feels left out or gets hurt feelings, since all 9 kids are siblings and we are close with all of them. Jr Bridesmaids are out of the question since the WP is already at 16 and I don't want it to get any bigger. Does anyone know of roles that the other kids could have? 

Manwaithiel

Guests.

I don't agree with having a one year old as a flower girl. Is she even going to be able to walk down the aisle? And have you asked her mother if she feels comfortable letting two more CHILDREN walking with her. It that was my baby, I'm sorry, but I'd say "hell no" if someone told me that a couple of other kids were going to be carrying my child down the aisle. Not happening.

Including all those kids is going to give you a headache. I would honestly just invite the kids as guests and avoid child attendants to dodge hurt feelings.

And I don't know of any 14 year olds that would want to be anything except maybe a BM. Flower girl/Ring bearer would probably seem a little young for them.

mbcdefg

If you haven't already asked the kids to participate, then I honestly wouldn't ask any of them. This sounds like a circus waiting to happen.

Take a nice photo with the group and that's plenty.

Beachy730

I honestly think you just have way too many kids to include.  If you aren't able to pick only 2, then I would just skip all of them.  Also, if your WP is already at 16, thats going to be crazy long processional, and waiting for 10 little kids to slowly make it down the aisle is going to be painstakingly long for your guests.  Do them a favor and either select 2 kids, or don't have any of them.

lilianne22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_many-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:3ba3f92b-503a-42f8-a4a4-64b5de2c8642Post:84819aba-e302-4b9f-afbb-45ef16e65c65">Re: Too many kids!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]If you haven't already asked the kids to participate, then I honestly wouldn't ask any of them. This sounds like a circus waiting to happen. Take a nice photo with the group and that's plenty.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

This.

BCWAY85

I wanted to ask just the youngest girl to be flower girl since all of the other kids were in their parents wedding 2 years ago, she was the only one who was not because of her age. Fiancée feels like we have to use all of the kids to avoid hurt feelings. I like the idea of a group family photo to include all of the kids in.  

tldh

I prefer the weddings without the kids in them.  Too many times they are screaming at the thought of going down the big scary aisle.  What you are proposing isn't a wedding party, it's a school play.

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_many-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3ba3f92b-503a-42f8-a4a4-64b5de2c8642Post:65180eca-8059-481e-92a1-bd9d1ac25739">Re: Too many kids!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I wanted to ask just the youngest girl to be flower girl since all of the other kids were in their parents wedding 2 years ago, she was the only one who was not because of her age. Fiancée feels like we have to use all of the kids to avoid hurt feelings. I like the idea of a group family photo to include all of the kids in.  
Posted by BCWAY85[/QUOTE]

Do you really think this girl really remembers not being able to participate in a wedding that was 2 years ago? Do you really think she's going to remember participating in your wedding in another 10 years? I was a flower girl for my godmother and I was maybe 6 and I barely remember that, at all. I think you're headed to disaster if you attempt to include all of these kids. Choose a FG ad RB and leave it at that, or don't include any of them. Unfortunately, kids need to learn the lesson that they won't always get to do special things that their siblings do, that's life. If their feelings are hurt, trust me, they'll forget about them by the time you serve cake.

ETA: Correction, there NO WAY your niece remembers not being part of the wedding two years ago, because she wasn't even born two years ago. If she can't verbally tell you what her role is in the wedding, then she's too young.

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_many-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:3ba3f92b-503a-42f8-a4a4-64b5de2c8642Post:7d506fca-4a83-445f-88b6-4d5f6b19cefb">Re: Too many kids!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Too many kids!!! : Do you really think this girl really remembers not being able to participate in a wedding that was 2 years ago? Do you really think she's going to remember participating in your wedding in another 10 years? <strong>I was a flower girl for my godmother and I was maybe 6 and I barely remember that, at all.</strong>I think you're headed to disaster if you attempt to include all of these kids. Choose a FG ad RB and leave it at that, or don't include any of them. Unfortunately, kids need to learn the lesson that they won't always get to do special things that their siblings do, that's life. If their feelings are hurt, trust me, they'll forget about them by the time you serve cake. ETA: Correction, there NO WAY your niece remembers not being part of the wedding two years ago, because she wasn't even born two years ago. If she can't verbally tell you what her role is in the wedding, then she's too young.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

I was flower girl at 18 months for my godmother.  My grandma didn't put my diaper on tight enough and it was apparently loose and uncomfortable on me so I wiggled my little butt out of it about halfway down the aisle.  I just left it there and kept on walking.  Of course, I don't remember any of this but everyone else who was there certainly does, more then three decades later.

trix1223

Don't put anyone into the WP.  Have some fabulous and fun family photos taken with the kids.  Let them dance to their hearts' content at the reception. 

Remember, as retread said, the only reason to have children in the wedding is for the cute factor.  And they'll be cute whether they're in the WP or not.

This is just way too many children to be manageable.  Make it easier on yourself.

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_many-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3ba3f92b-503a-42f8-a4a4-64b5de2c8642Post:65180eca-8059-481e-92a1-bd9d1ac25739">Re: Too many kids!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I wanted to ask just the youngest girl to be flower girl since all of the other kids were in their parents wedding 2 years ago, she was the only one who was not because of her age. <strong>Fiancée feels like we have to use all of the kids to avoid hurt feelings.</strong> I like the idea of a group family photo to include all of the kids in.  
Posted by BCWAY85[/QUOTE]
Disappointment is part of growing up.  Sometimes, not everyone gets chosen to play.

LD1970

Wow, 10 kids sounds like a one-room schoolhouse.

Seriously, you'll have an absolute mess if you try to include 10 kids in your wedding.  Don't attempt this.

aerinpegadrak

My only niece was 5 months old at my wedding.  We broke our no-kids rule for her (as well as MOH's infant daughter), my sister dressed her up all cute, and the photographer got several nice pictures of all of us.  That was it, everyone was happy.

At 2 months old, the kid is still mastering "hold up my head on my own".  Expecting her to get from one end of the aisle to the other is about as reasonable as expecting the average person to troubleshoot a nuclear reactor.

balasj

I don't even find it that cute when kids are in weddings because inevitably they end up crying/screaming.  Not the right event for them.  You're looking for trouble x10. 

Noellesmama

I guess I'm going against the grain here. But I love kids at weddings!

My daughter will be 1 of 4 kids in the WP.

My aunt who was married 14 years ago had solely children as BM & GM (her friend and FH friend were MOH & Best Man). And guess what not a single thing went un-hitched! It turned out GREAT! No tears, no screaming & no whining!

So it can be done...but I do understand what ppl are saying.

BeeBee22

How much of your life do you remember before you were 8 years old?  I guarantee, a ONE-YEAR-OLD will not be upset she's not your flower girl.  Unless you've all made some big deal about this in front of these little kids, it's a complete non-issue.  

If you have made it a big deal, tide's comment about disappointment is very wise and important.

I agree with the PPs - no kid attendants is the way to go in this situation.  Make a point of having photos of the sibling groups and a various group photos with them all dressed up.  They'll enjoy it, and your wedding won't be a circus.  Being invited as a guest, wearing fancy clothes, dancing to loud music, running around with their cousins in their fancy clothes, taking pictures, this will be more than enough.

deb84

I didn't read the other responses so sorry if I repeat anything.  Will she be 1 at the time of the wedding or is she 1 now?  I personally feel that 1 is too young to be a flower girl.  I was a flowergirl in my brother's wedding when I was 3 and I don't remember ANYTHING about that day.  I've seen pictures but that is it, no memory of it what-so-ever. 

As for including ALL of them-NOT POSSIBLE.  Between FI and I we have 10 nieces and nephews ranging in age from 2-22-I feel your pain, we are VERY close to them.  But not everyone can or should be in your wedding party. 

LD1970

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_many-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3ba3f92b-503a-42f8-a4a4-64b5de2c8642Post:7da0c537-7d9e-4f39-ad74-52e1c8d76af5">Re: Too many kids!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I'm going against the grain here. But I love kids at weddings! My daughter will be 1 of 4 kids in the WP. My aunt who was married 14 years ago had solely children as BM & GM (her friend and FH friend were MOH & Best Man). And guess what not a single thing went un-hitched! It turned out GREAT! No tears, no screaming & no whining! So it can be done...but I do understand what ppl are saying.
Posted by Noellesmama[/QUOTE]
That's cool, but 4 =/= 10 kids starting at age ONE.

bablingbrooke

I would leave them all out and have them come as guests.  The last thing you want to do on your wedding day is corral a bunch of kids into order.  They won't miss being in the wedding, and the parents will thank you for not making them buy special outfits.  Take special pictures and dance with them, but don't include them in the wedding.  

Noellesmama

Yea, I completely get it! It puts the most stress on the little ones, most freak when they see the aisle!