The mother of the bride has not been included in this shower at all. When we asked the MOH if she was keeping her in the loop she responded that "it was in her hands." When the MOB found out the group gift was a computer she asked the groom to talk to his sister and decide on something else, as it was not appropriate for a bridal shower.
After asking three times, we were not sent a link to the invitation she ordered. Each time she only replied with a color, or that it would be sent out soon. So I asked a fourth time, asking if it was floral and girly, modern and streamlined, or classic..may we please see the link?
In the same email, I suggested ideas for the wishing well, favors, and games.
She responds that the invites will go out later this week. Again, no link. She also ordered the favors (without anyone's opinions). Shot down my idea for the wishing well, which was baking since the bride loves baking. Now we're going with wine. The bride barely drinks.
Then she says she wants to stick to a "girly/pink/princessy" theme, which would be perfect for the bride, and so the bridesmaids will wear a black pencil skirt and white or pink top. Huh?
She closed it off by saying to email her in a separate email (she really bolded and underlined it) if we have any more suggestions.
So let me lay this out:
The shower will be hosted at an upscale pizza place with very dark decor. (The bride hasn't eaten pizza in 6 years and she loves very light decor).
The favor will be a LOVE cookie cutter. (This is actually right up the bride's alley as she loves to bake. Too bad nothing else is baking related, making the favor completely random).
The wishing well will be wine bottles, with the bridesmaids' contributions decorated by month. (The bride very rarely drinks, especially not a bottle of wine a month. The month theme is also completely random).
The bridesmaids will be wearing black. (The bride's mother believes that to wear black is to be in mourning. Not to mention, we'll look like servers).
I feel bad that the shower will be not be personalized to the bride's taste at all, but at this point there is nothing I can do except not wear black and not contribute money as a host. The computer gift wwas finally nixed by the bride's mother. Written in the email was "it has been brought to my attention that a few of you have spoken to my brother about the gift idea." So now the gift will be luggage, which is more appropriate but they're not registered for it, which leads me to believe they have luggage. My other FSIL and I have decided to not go in on the gift and will say that the bride's brothers (FSIL's husband and my fiance) would like to do our own gift. We'll also blow her out of the water with the "mini" bachelorette party (the MOH calls it mini because it's not in Miami, but we will have twice as many guests).