Considering my FSD's bio mom in my bridal party

candiceflom

Get ready for the most unique story you'll ever hear. My FSD's bio mom (We'll call her C) and I have created a relationship in and of it's own. I have a lot of friends, but not very many that I actually hang out with. I spend more time with C than ANY of my other friends. Bottom line, I'm considering asking her to be in my bridal party. My FH is totally supportive. Since the beginning of his and my relationship, we've all grown as a family and very good friends. It would totally be a go if it wasn't for my FH's family. His brother still holds a grudge against her because of how their relationship ended, but my FH and FSD's mom have grown passed that and have since before he and I even started dating. I don't want to anger his family and start off our marriage that way, but I really want her in my bridal party, and she's going to be part of my FH's, FSD's, and my life for the rest of our lives. What do you beautiful knotties think?

SJM7538

Sorry I'm bad with all the acronyms...what is FSD?

Anyway - I think you have the right to choose your own bridal party. It should be the people you are closest with and shouldn't be anyone's decision but your own.

FH's family are presumably all adults and should be able to act like it.

Fancypantsamy

I can't think of a nicer way to express to your future stepdaughter that you're all a loving bunch of adults dedicated to her happiness than having her mother join your wedding party, since you and FI are so comfortable with it. I think it would be lovely, and if FH's family had a problem with it, he should inform them that it's none of their business and you all see this as an ideal situation. 

You sound like a class act, mazel tov!

AddieCake

I think as long as your fiance has no problem with it, then his family doesn't get a say about it. 

candiceflom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_considering-my-fsds-bio-mom-in-my-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3d11ec03-5737-48ad-b7d6-90c610dc351fPost:69198a40-c4cd-48f8-9225-98eaf6974c73">Re: Considering my FSD's bio mom in my bridal party</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry I'm bad with all the acronyms...what is FSD? Anyway - I think you have the right to choose your own bridal party. It should be the people you are closest with and shouldn't be anyone's decision but your own. FH's family are presumably all adults and should be able to act like it.
Posted by SJM7538[/QUOTE]

<div>Sorry! FSD is Future Stepdaughter, and FH is Future Husband. :)</div>

SJM7538

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_considering-my-fsds-bio-mom-in-my-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:3d11ec03-5737-48ad-b7d6-90c610dc351fPost:7e8eec69-1285-4b77-8349-0bdaee6fd55a">Re: Considering my FSD's bio mom in my bridal party</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Considering my FSD's bio mom in my bridal party : Sorry! FSD is Future Stepdaughter, and FH is Future Husband. :)
Posted by candiceflom[/QUOTE]

Thanks! ! I can usually decode them. Does the knot have a document that says what they all mean?? lol :)

candiceflom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_considering-my-fsds-bio-mom-in-my-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3d11ec03-5737-48ad-b7d6-90c610dc351fPost:b43d6d55-9eda-4607-85f9-2f7917ebad40">Re: Considering my FSD's bio mom in my bridal party</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Considering my FSD's bio mom in my bridal party : Thanks! ! I can usually decode them. Does the knot have a document that says what they all mean?? lol :)
Posted by SJM7538[/QUOTE]

<div>They do, actually. :) It's under the FAQs to the left.</div>

MyNameIsNot

If you and your FI are good with it, ask her.  Anyone who has a problem with it can shove it.  It's no one's business who you ask to be in your WP.

I agree with PP that this is a huge statement to your FSD.  So many children with split/divorced families have to grow up around animosity and constantly being caught in the middle.  It will make a huge impact on her to see that two people who couldn't make it romantically could still be mature enough and love her enough to put the history aside to be friends and parents.  

itzMS

Good for you. How awesome of all of you to create a loving environment for FSD.

I mean, so long as you aren't going to label C in your program as "FI's Babymama" or anything...

candiceflom

Haha. Thanks everyone.  Your answers mean a lot and have provided me with a backbone to go through with it. We've come so far together as a family, and I want C and my FSD to know how much I appreciate and care for her. Thanks again!