I dropped out - will we stay friends?

8daysaweek

I was supposed to be a BM in my friend's upcoming wedding. She was just my MOH in May.

We have had a few snags over the months that made me feel bad but weren't the end of the world (choosing a dress that is very flattering to the other two BMs and very unflattering to me, telling me why I wasn't chosen as MOH, etc.) After I agreed to be in the wedding, my husband lost his job. We were notfied a couple weeks ago that his unemployment would be significantly less than originally estimated and it goes through December. I know there are extensions but we both feel we can't count on that so we're trying to be careful about money.

Over the last week or two, the problems have just been piling up: She set her rehearsal for 4 p.m. on Friday and because she lives out of town, that means I'd have to take the afternoon at least off work. Then she uninvited children, including our daughter, so we would have to make arrangements for her for two nights (they are still inviting a few children, her FI's siblings and nieces and nephews). Then she told me that I had to get my hair done in an updo and it would be $40-50 (replying to an email that said that we were really trying to save as much as possible right now because of  H's unemployment and our daughter's medical bills piling up).

The last straw was last night when she told me that my husband is not invited to her rehearsal, she really needs me at the rehearsal and if that affects my ability to be in the wedding, to let her know as soon as possible.

I feel like I was a good bridesmaid. I ordered the dress when asked, I offered to do her invitations for her and she accepted and I tried to help with the bach party until I realized that they were planning a very expensive one and I just couldn't afford to do everything.

After a lot of tears and trying to come up with a solution, I realized there was just no way I could guarantee I could be at the rehearsal and told her so and explained how much finances were hurting us right now. I guess technically I dropped out but I feel like I didn't have much of a choice. I'm really hurt and devastated and feel like a terrible friend.

My question is: Can friendships survive this kind of thing? I feel like she is going to hate me and never want to be my friend again. She has been a wonderful friend to me over the years and I think this was just wedding brain (or maybe I'm the one in the wrong here).