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I thought I knew who my MOH would be, but I'm torn!!

maryannaltawilmaryannaltawil member
Sixth Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Party
I have three girls who are all so dear to me that I cannot choose between them.  Forgive me if I get too wordy. 

#1 is someone who I always imagined would be my MOH and I have so much history with her.  Yet, every since I started dating my fiance, she often calls me out on not being as available.  I feel that she is too harsh sometimes and feel that we have grown distant.

#2 is someone that I have developed a very close relationship and bond and who always listens and offers her advice or guidance without judging, like #1 would do.  But, I feel if I didn't choose #2, she would be understanding.

#3 is someone that I have grown extremely close to and feel like I owe it to her because she's the one who introduced me to my fiance AND her husband is the BM.

Help.Surprised
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Re: I thought I knew who my MOH would be, but I'm torn!!

  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I'd just say "I love you all equally, I won't have a MOH."  Definitely one of the good problems in life :)

    You can divvy up the "duties" if you want--one can hold your bouquet during the ceremony, one can sign the license, one can give the toast, or whatever.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Can you identify one of those people as your best or closest friend?  If not, it's fine to not choose a MOH. 
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  • maryannaltawilmaryannaltawil member
    Sixth Anniversary First Comment
    Is it ok to have all three?  And if so, who do I place where??
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I had my BMs line up in a random order that they picked themselves.  It really doesn't matter.  If you want to sort them, do it by something arbitrary: height, birthday, alphabetical order, etc. 

    And yes, it's absolutely okay!  I promise the wedding police won't burst in and disrupt the ceremony because you are doing something a little non-traditional :)
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • emilyinchileemilyinchile member
    5000 Comments
    You don't owe MOH to anyone, be it your oldest friend or the person who introduced you and FI. And if 2 is really your best friend, don't not pick her just because you think she'd be most understanding about it!

    Pick whoever is truly your closest friend - if that's more than one person that's fine, or if you'd rather not choose and have no MOH, that's fine too.
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  • I-am-meI-am-me
    10 Comments
    I'm in almost the exact same predicament (oldest, dearest friend from whom I have grown apart in the past few years and who doesn't get along well with Fi; close friend I met a few years ago who is most likely to listen and give non-judgemental advice and who adores Fi; and my younger sister). I still haven't decided; so far I've asked them all to be bridesmaids. If I decide to have an MOH I will "upgrade" one at that time.

    As far as having 3 MOHs, I say it depends. There is definitely nothing wrong with having more than one, but I would ask you - are these the only 3 girls in the bridal party, or are there any other bridesmaids who you aren't considering for MOH? If they are the only 3 then there's not much difference if they're all BMs or all MOHs, either way you would divide up the "duties" (1 stands next to you, 1 gives a toast, 1 signs marriage license, or something). If, like I do, you have 1 or 2 other girls who are bridesmaids then I think having 3 MOHs would be kind of rude - it's one thing to tell the bridesmaids they aren't #1, but to tell them they're not even in the top 3? I'm not so sure about that.

    Good Luck!!! And let us know how you make out - like I said I'm still stuck on this issue to!
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  • pinkie16587pinkie16587 member
    10 Comments
    I think it's okay to have 2 MOHs but 3 is a little much. Are you planning on having a large bridal party? I'd say either #1 or #2 because they seem like they are closer friends. Do you have a sister you would like to have as a MOH or a cousin you are close to? The other girls can't say anything negative or go jealous fit if a family member is you MOH. I would say do whatever feels right for you. It is YOUR day and if they are your REAL friends than they will understand. Let them know that you love them all and they all are important to you. I'm sure they will be happy with being your bridesmaids. Good luck :)
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