MOH: Childhood friend or Adulthood friend...

Vintage2010

So when it came time to decide who should be my MOH, I had two people in mind.  One was my childhood friend I've known since before kindergarten, however in the last five years we have only seen each other a handful of times, and called each other once every three months, because she went away to college.  The other was a friend I've only known for the last five years, but we've been on multiple vacations together, text each other everyday, and she's the only one that knows all my secrets.  I ended up choosing the adulthood friend, cause I felt she knows the current me, not the fourth grade version of me.  However, I still feel guilty whenever I'm around my childhood friend, she's a bridesmaid.  Did I make the right decision, & do I owe her an explanation of my actions?   

mgietler76

You don't owe an explanation for anything, I'm sure your friend understands that you aren't as close right now. I have a friend I've known for 16yrs and we don't talk half as often as we used to because we are just busy with life, don't stress out about it, she probably is just happy to stand for you.

[Deleted User]

Only you can answer that question for yourself. We do not know all the circumstances regarding your friendships, etc. If you are concerned about one being the BM and one being the MOH, why not have 2 MOH's? That would be perfectly fine and a way to include them both.

jaimed99

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-childhood-friend-adulthood-friend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:44c97c01-42a1-43db-a0aa-f593a1b125b3Post:11302902-f11b-45c1-99e1-2b2f31f38440">Re: MOH: Childhood friend or Adulthood friend...</a>:
[QUOTE]You don't owe an explanation for anything, I'm sure your friend understands that you aren't as close right now. I have a friend I've known for 16yrs and we don't talk half as often as we used to because we are just busy with life, don't stress out about it, she probably is just happy to stand for you.
Posted by mgietler76[/QUOTE]

<div>This. I have a BFF with whom I've been friends 20 years. Since we've both been out of high school, we don't talk nearly as often as we used to...she is very busy with work and I have two children. We are now both planning our weddings, and while we are BMs in each others', neither is the other's MOH...I chose my FSIL and my DD's SM with whom I am very close as co-MOHs and my BFF chose her SIL as hers...neither of us feel slighted by it, and I'm sure your friend will understand. I assume you still plan to make her a BM? That is just as much an honor :)</div>

lalap69

Whatever you do, please don't offer her an explanation as for why you didn't pick her as MOH.  That talk is not going to lead to anything but hurt feelings.

Vintage2010

Yeah, I agree that a talk with the childhood friend would only cause more problems & be really akward... I considered the two MOH's, but I have a sister & I think it would hurt her feelings too much if I had two MOH's & she was only a BM... & I didn't want to make my sisiter the MOH cause we are the complete opposite of each other & she's sooo shy that she wouldn't be much help...  Thank you everyone