Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other?

PrettyGirlLost

Hi Brides!

I have a large bridal party. . . 10 Bridesmaids.  Yep, it's a lot, but I have 2 sisters, 3 SIL's, and 5 close friends from highschool and college.

I'm trying to think of a creative, fun way to help all my lovely ladies get to know each other, especially because two are living out of town from the rest of us.

I was thinking of sending them all a silly questionairre and then mailing a copy of their answers and some pictures to each BM, but I don't want to bombard them with too much crap to do related to this wedding.

Any ideas?

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-fun-ways-to-help-bms-get-to-know-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:458b8bfd-bf24-421f-bc03-a46bf5234a34Post:261c7952-7d49-41ef-98cc-242b16d3e918">Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi Brides! I have a large bridal party. . . 10 Bridesmaids.  Yep, it's a lot, but I have 2 sisters, 3 SIL's, and 5 close friends from highschool and college. I'm trying to think of a creative, fun way to help all my lovely ladies get to know each other, especially because two are living out of town from the rest of us. I was thinking of sending them all a silly questionairre and then mailing a copy of their answers and some pictures to each BM, but I don't want to bombard them with too much crap to do related to this wedding. Any ideas?
Posted by cmsciulli[/QUOTE]

Don't.  Oh for the love of all that is holy, please don't.  These girls don't have to know or even like eachother.  If they happen to get to know eachother during the engagement, great but forcing things like this is just a bad idea.

Also, they don't have to do a single thing for your wedding other than wear a dress chosen within their budget limits, show up sober to the wedding venue, carry some flowers down the aisle and smile for the photographer.  That. is. it.  If you need help with anything your FI needs to share the burden.  If it is too much for the two of you then you need to hire some help.

girl4182

Could you create a facebook group and add them all as members that way you can post stuff like that there oppose to mailing them stuff? 

I'd also wait a little while before doing anything bridesmaid related since you're still so far out from your weding date. 

Congrats on your engagement!!!

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-fun-ways-to-help-bms-get-to-know-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:458b8bfd-bf24-421f-bc03-a46bf5234a34Post:aea2455c-66d4-4e93-917e-004f27a3ac3e">Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other? : Don't.  Oh for the love of all that is holy, please don't.  These girls don't have to know or even like eachother.  If they happen to get to know eachother during the engagement, great but forcing things like this is just a bad idea. Also, they don't have to do a single thing for your wedding other than wear a dress chosen within their budget limits, show up sober to the wedding venue, carry some flowers down the aisle and smile for the photographer.  That. is. it.  If you need help with anything your FI needs to share the burden.  If it is too much for the two of you then you need to hire some help.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

<div>This. Why do they need to get to know each other?  They will spend very little time together, and like GLB said, if they click naturally when they ARE around each other, great. If not, it doesn't matter. Nobody likes forced interaction and getting- to -know -you activities. </div>

PrettyGirlLost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-fun-ways-to-help-bms-get-to-know-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:458b8bfd-bf24-421f-bc03-a46bf5234a34Post:aea2455c-66d4-4e93-917e-004f27a3ac3e">Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other? : Don't.  Oh for the love of all that is holy, please don't.  These girls don't have to know or even like eachother.  If they happen to get to know eachother during the engagement, great but forcing things like this is just a bad idea. Also, they don't have to do a single thing for your wedding other than wear a dress chosen within their budget limits, show up sober to the wedding venue, carry some flowers down the aisle and smile for the photographer.  That. is. it.  If you need help with anything your FI needs to share the burden.  If it is too much for the two of you then you need to hire some help.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

I'm not suggesting trying to get everyone all together and do something, but several of the BM's have expressed a desire to get to know a little bit about the other BM's they don't know.  Especially since they are going to be working together to help plan some things. . . like the bridal shower.

So I was trying to come up with a fun little way to help facilitate that.

I'm not sure what experience you may have had with your wedding, but my BM's want to plan the bridal shower and the bachlorette activity, I'm not making anyone do anything!  My FI and I are planning and doing most of the heavy lfting for the wedding, with my parents.  But there are some things the BM's want to do as well.

AddieCake

Then I suggest they take it upon themselves to friend each other on Facebook (if they are active). Honestly, if you want to get to know someone, that would be the best way. One of my friends just had a baby shower, and a couple of the ladies I met there liked me and wanted to get to know me better and so they friended me. I still don't think you need to facilitate anything. 

PrettyGirlLost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-fun-ways-to-help-bms-get-to-know-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:458b8bfd-bf24-421f-bc03-a46bf5234a34Post:556faddd-99c9-441e-a57e-b7b32a36a9f7">Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other?</a>:
[QUOTE]Could you create a facebook group and add them all as members that way you can post stuff like that there oppose to mailing them stuff?  I'd also wait a little while before doing anything bridesmaid related since you're still so far out from your weding date.  Congrats on your engagement!!!
Posted by girl4182[/QUOTE]

Several don't do FB, which is why I was trying to think of something else.

No one expects or wants the bridal party to become BFFs, I sure don't.  And most of them already know each other.

However my SIL  hasn't met some of the other BM's and wanted to know a little bit about the other BM's before the day of the shower or wedding.  She is excited for the wedding and wants to help with the planning, but is afraid to step on ppl's toes she doesn't know.

So I was just curious what other ppl did in this situation, but it sounds like you guys didn't do anything and just let the BM's figure it out ;-)

Thanks!

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-fun-ways-to-help-bms-get-to-know-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:458b8bfd-bf24-421f-bc03-a46bf5234a34Post:555de695-b518-43b9-8d42-511ccab46c94">Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other?</a>:
[QUOTE]Then I suggest they take it upon themselves to friend each other on Facebook (if they are active). Honestly, if you want to get to know someone, that would be the best way. One of my friends just had a baby shower, and a couple of the ladies I met there liked me and wanted to get to know me better and so they friended me. I still don't think you need to facilitate anything. 
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

This. OR I think the most facilitating you should do would maybe be to send everyone each others email addresses in case some of your friends aren't big facebookers. If they want to go further, they can do it themselves. Going any further than that could very quickly become overzealous, annoying, or stressful.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-fun-ways-to-help-bms-get-to-know-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:458b8bfd-bf24-421f-bc03-a46bf5234a34Post:a4aa4eb5-6f1b-4772-b244-10714f46e4ed">Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other? : Several don't do FB, which is why I was trying to think of something else. No one expects or wants the bridal party to become BFFs, I sure don't.  And most of them already know each other. However my SIL  hasn't met some of the other BM's and wanted to know a little bit about the other BM's before the day of the shower or wedding.  She is excited for the wedding and wants to help with the planning, but is afraid to step on ppl's toes she doesn't know. So I was just curious what other ppl did in this situation, but it sounds like you guys didn't do anything and just let the BM's figure it out ;-) Thanks!
Posted by cmsciulli[/QUOTE]

If it is just your SIL wanting to know about the other girls, why can't you give her some background about each of your BMs?

She could also email the other girls as well to introduce herself.

Really, this isn't difficult.

PrettyGirlLost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-fun-ways-to-help-bms-get-to-know-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:458b8bfd-bf24-421f-bc03-a46bf5234a34Post:4ad103be-9138-4313-9201-5b9d0e785234">Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other? : If it is just your SIL wanting to know about the other girls, why can't you give her some background about each of your BMs? She could also email the other girls as well to introduce herself. Really, this isn't difficult.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

Yep, she should have just stayed on FB!

PrettyGirlLost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-fun-ways-to-help-bms-get-to-know-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:458b8bfd-bf24-421f-bc03-a46bf5234a34Post:d848b940-00ff-41d9-9c12-191156a305b8">Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other? : Assuming the other BMs are okay with sharing their contact info, I would just send an email to all 10 of them with the women's emails and phone numbers.  I would definitely check first to make sure your other women are okay with sharing their email addresses.
Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

Yep, it's important not to share info w/o ppl's permission.

Thanks, and congrats on Newlywed status.

mattycam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-fun-ways-to-help-bms-get-to-know-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:458b8bfd-bf24-421f-bc03-a46bf5234a34Post:556faddd-99c9-441e-a57e-b7b32a36a9f7">Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Could you create a facebook group and add them all as members that way you can post stuff like that there oppose to mailing them stuff?</strong>  I'd also wait a little while before doing anything bridesmaid related since you're still so far out from your weding date.  Congrats on your engagement!!!
Posted by girl4182[/QUOTE]

I am currently in a wedding party and that is how we are communicating (planning bridal party, bachelorette etc.) Another option, what about hosting a get together? I did that with my bridesmaids and the WP I am currently in, the bride did that as well. We had a good time.

Sierra524

Do not force anything upon them get to know one another. Sending out a questionnaire is not a good idea. I would just throw it away if I got it. Only 2 of my BMs knew each other prior to this (bc they are both my FSIL) but other than that, nobody knew anything about one another. I took two of the girls out to lunch when I first got engaged, just because they wanted to meet each other. Those are the two that also went dress shopping with me. Other than that, all the BMs have only met each other twice...once at my engagement party & just this past weekend when I got them all together for dress shopping. They keep in contact via text, fb or email to discuss anything wedding related. They were all okay with me giving out their contact info to each other when I first got engaged. But, thats all I did. I left it up to them to get to know one another.

PrettyGirlLost

Hey Sierra524,

Where are you getting married in PGH?  Having a cookie table :-P

harper0813

Three of my bridesmaids knew each other and one didn't know any of them, but she really wanted to. I just sent a mass email to the four of them saying thank you for agreeing to be my BMs and I named an interesting fact, which I already knew, about each of them. They met when we were looking at BM dresses. Simple!

Sierra524

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-fun-ways-to-help-bms-get-to-know-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:458b8bfd-bf24-421f-bc03-a46bf5234a34Post:82535dfd-ff1a-4792-8571-5350a3d8acc3">Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey Sierra524, Where are you getting married in PGH?  Having a cookie table :-P
Posted by cmsciulli[/QUOTE]

Im not from PGH, Im from Erie. I just put PGH bc its the closest city to Erie I could find on here. lol

PrettyGirlLost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-fun-ways-to-help-bms-get-to-know-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:458b8bfd-bf24-421f-bc03-a46bf5234a34Post:834e40a8-ec91-4973-8eb0-1a0f70eec905">Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other? : Im not from PGH, Im from Erie. I just put PGH bc its the closest city to Erie I could find on here. lol
Posted by Sierra524[/QUOTE]

Oh, well pffft on theknot.

I went to college up near Erie, and we often went up to Erie on the weekends to go shopping or hang out along the lake if the weather was nice.  I like the area a lot. . . there are some nice wineries up that way, right?

Sierra524

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-fun-ways-to-help-bms-get-to-know-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:458b8bfd-bf24-421f-bc03-a46bf5234a34Post:bad2dfe9-17d1-4c16-925c-fcfa83e8242c">Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other? : Oh, well pffft on theknot. I went to college up near Erie, and we often went up to Erie on the weekends to go shopping or hang out along the lake if the weather was nice.  I like the area a lot. . . there are some nice wineries up that way, right?
Posted by cmsciulli[/QUOTE]

There are a ton of wineries up here. Its so nice. There is actually this big event in a few weeks called Wine on the Lake. All these diff wineries from all over PA & NY & OH come to Erie and you pay $35 and get to sample all the wine you want. They also bring a ton more incase you want to buy some. Its awesome.

PrettyGirlLost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-fun-ways-to-help-bms-get-to-know-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:458b8bfd-bf24-421f-bc03-a46bf5234a34Post:ba3a4db4-90ff-4c82-9cf4-0024ad7dc509">Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other? : There are a ton of wineries up here. Its so nice. There is actually this big event in a few weeks called Wine on the Lake. All these diff wineries from all over PA & NY & OH come to Erie and you pay $35 and get to sample all the wine you want. They also bring a ton more incase you want to buy some. Its awesome.
Posted by Sierra524[/QUOTE]

That sounds like a lot of fun and a great place to find new, local wines.

girl4182

Just wondering if you're wanting advice or for someone to say yes, your idea is great, run with it!

I assumed you were looking for advice, you were given advice and now you're fighting everyone on the advice you've been given. At the end of the day you can do what ever you want. There are no wedding police who will break down your door in the middle of the night and cart you off. 

With that said though I would advise you not to mail out info and pictures of people. In addition to my own wedding I will be a bridesmaid in my sisters this coming May and in my Maid of honours wedding next summer. I would feel incredibly awkward if I had recieved pictures written bios on each of the girls and even more awkward about that same info about me being sent out. 

If you're that keen on having them get to know each other why not have a girls night? My friends and I get together every couple months at someones house and drink wine, watch movies, eat junk food and chat. Mind you my entire bridal party isn't included in every girls night and most of us are already friends, but a gathering of girls and hang out and watch movies would be ok as long as your wedding is not the focus of this gathering. 

Other than that I would just leave it up to them. If your maid of honour says hey, i was thinking about hosting a shower. thought i might ask the other girls if they wanted to help do you have their contact info you can ask them if they are ok with passing on their number or e-mail. 

They're big girls, no worries

PrettyGirlLost

Hi Girl,

Not looking for validation, just looking to see what other people had done, if anything.

I didn't mean to sound defensive, I wanted to better explain what my intentions were, because based on the posts I think ppl thought I wanted the WP to all meet and become BFF's or force them to do some sorority mixer event, which isn't the case, lol!

The basic gist is that my 3 SIL's don't know the other BM's, and one SIL had expressed a desire to get to know them better for the sake of planning, and to be social too I think.

A get together might be fun, and like you my non-SIL BM's and I get together pretty often.  If we can do something with the one SIL, great, if not no biggie.

Sierra524

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-fun-ways-to-help-bms-get-to-know-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:458b8bfd-bf24-421f-bc03-a46bf5234a34Post:d8380854-2d35-44a5-8fb7-edbf41ba2606">Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other? : That sounds like a lot of fun and a great place to find new, local wines.
Posted by cmsciulli[/QUOTE]

It really is! I found this wine there that I am obsessed with. Its from Allegheny Wine Cellars in Sheffield PA. Its called Bigfoot Shadows. BEST WINE EVER! Anyway, you cant get it anywhere in Erie & they dont ship it from Sheffield. Its a 2 hour drive from Erie, and Ive made the trip multiple times because the wine is so good.

PrettyGirlLost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-fun-ways-to-help-bms-get-to-know-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:458b8bfd-bf24-421f-bc03-a46bf5234a34Post:7af782bf-f5fc-4012-beea-7592f84655da">Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other? : It really is! I found this wine there that I am obsessed with. Its from Allegheny Wine Cellars in Sheffield PA. Its called Bigfoot Shadows. BEST WINE EVER! Anyway, you cant get it anywhere in Erie & they dont ship it from Sheffield. Its a 2 hour drive from Erie, and Ive made the trip multiple times because the wine is so good.
Posted by Sierra524[/QUOTE]

Oh, great tip!  One of my BM's is obsessed with Bigfoot. . . loooooooooong story.  Sounds like I might have to make a trip up to Erie next year for the event (oh darn :-P ) to try Bigfoot Shadows and maybe buy a few bottles for her. 

Our states stores down here might have it or be able to order it in, but it would be more fun to go up there with my fiance.  There are some nice hotels and B&B's along the lake.

PrettyGirlLost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-fun-ways-to-help-bms-get-to-know-each-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:458b8bfd-bf24-421f-bc03-a46bf5234a34Post:b150796d-4097-4129-b441-aaecc4acaf7b">Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Creative, Fun Ways to Help BM's Get to KNow Each Other? : Thanks!  Enjoy your engagement, and good luck with the wedding planning!!
Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

Thanks!  So far so good on engagement ;-)

Jessa617

I just asked my bridesmaids if they wanted to get together for a BBQ and bring the kids etc. It wasn't something they had to do, but I thought it would be nice to host a little cookout. There was nothing extravagant, we just chatted and ate burgers etc.

allychase

I'm not a fan of the FB group idea. My FSIL just added me to one to "communicate about wedding details" but really the only thing I need to communicate about is the shower, whenever we get around the planning that... she doesn't even have a date picked yet. And she shouldn't be a part of that discussion. I have no interest in being BFFs with whoever else she picked out. I am doing just well sending texts to my girls about BM dresses and hair and makeup, which I've only had to mention like twice. 

I can't stand overhyper and overbearing brides. Bridesmaids aren't barbie dolls that the bride keeps smashing against eachother in attempts to be best friends.