XP from my Club board: Bummed about my pro pics

megk8oz

Ok, there are some edits from my OP, but basically, I had started to feel better about this a few days ago, until DH reminded me I need to call the photog to actually order stuff from him ... and now I'm upset all over again.

Anyway, I just got my proofs back last week, and I was going through them ... and I'm feeling upset with what came back. The ceremony and the formals look great ... which are the important ones, I know ... but the reception pics are kind of a let down, and I'm really having a hard time with it.

There's tons of pics of the Best Man and his FI (You know, the girl that was going to pretty much make him miss our wedding while he drove to Ohio to get her?). Then there's like 6 pics of my BSC friend  and her DH. After that, there are absolutely no reception pics of any of our other friends or BP members. I mean, granted the photog couldn't know which friends I was close to and which ones not-so-much, but really? He couldn't get pics of anybody else the BP except for the Best Man? As you know, 3 of my siblings and DH's sister  and nephew were all in the BP. We made it a point to explain who they were to the photog ... yet for some reason, after the reception entrances, there are no pictures of any of them.

Then there's the rest of the family.  We had formals, so he knew things like who my parents were, who DH parents were and that my 91-year-old great grandmother was there ... and  like the BP, after the formals, there's literally no pictures of anybody. There's 1 shot of my grandmother dancing (Not great-grandma), and a pic of my brother dancing with my mom. But aside from that, nothing. There are no pics of my parents together ... and no pics of my dad outside of the the F/D dance.

And it's not like these Best Man & his FI pics where just ones they "just so happened to be in", like they were really pics of us or other people. These are specifically pics of them.

I know there were some things that I probably could have explained better. But I don't know, I just think that he's worked long enough to know that like, maybe, he could figure out on his own that the bride wanted pictures of her parents ... in the same shot. I'd seen his other work, I didn't have any problems with it. Apparently other brides must have explained in depth to him to photograph everybody instead of just trusting his abilities.

It's not like everybody spent the night at the table either, my family pretty much camped on the dance floor. I actually spent a good portion of the night dancing with my siblings ... and for some reason, there's not a single shot of that. It never really never occured to me that I would have to explain to the professional that's done this a million times that we would want pictures of our families and not just the best man (Who, not to be a jerk, but he's not family) and his awful prom-dress wearing, hippie love-in dancing FI. I didn't think I had to say "See the girl in the prom gown? We hate her. So 1 or 2 pics is fine for the Best Man, but otherwise, I don't want that monstrocity in my album".

I know I said when I first came back her behavior at the wedding was easily ignored, and therefore it didn't bother me ... now that pretty much all of my reception pics are of nothing but her awful behavior, I'm pretty damn bothered by it. Which may be childish on my end ... but really, I didn't care up until I found out that she's pretty much my only option for reception pics in my wedding album.

Anyway, I'm really just bummed by this  ... and I really want to blame myself ... but at the same time, I'm still not sure how this could all be my fault. We wanted to do parent albums as gifts (Not entirely unheard of) ... and we really don't have the pictures to do it. We could make a very "lovely" album for the Best Man, however.

I know need to stop being a baby about it, it's not like I can do anything about it now. I actually was a little "over it" until this morning when DH said we had to call him to order stuff. I already know that when I call, he's going to ask "what I think" ... and while I don't want to lie about it, I know that I'm not really good at expressing when I'm upset calmly and rationally ... I usually end up crying or yelling-and I hate being "that person".

Anyway, just whining. Feel free to tell me I need to grown the eff up, cuz I know it's true, lol.

SarahPLiz

I also think you should write a letter. Then it can be edited before you send it. Don't be afraid to tell him that you aren't satisfied, though. At the very least, he needs to be able to learn from this and not do it again. I know that doens't benefit you, but do it for the rest of the brides out there

megk8oz

My mom went through the proofs as well, and she's been trying to make me feel better about them (But we both did kind of emphasize to the photog during formals that "there's a reason these people are in the formals: they're important to us") ... and she's thinking that the FI is behind this.

A friend of mine told me that during dinner the FI (Who she never met before) spent like a half hour telling my friend that she's "extremely photogenic" and that her friends "constantly beg her to pose for them" ... so my mom's wondering if she just kept stalking the photog all night.

I feel like such a brat, because I know I'm pretty much like stamping my foot saying "Waaaah, she ruined my wedding album".

emilyinchile

Meg, Kyle (my photog) has had plenty of people tell her "take a picture of my kids" or "take more pictures of me" at a wedding. Part of being a professional is politely ignoring them or taking one picture and then excusing yourself to be with the bride and groom. When she shoots a wedding, she is there for the couple, not Great Aunt Nelly who thinks her grandchildren should be the focus or the best man's BSC FI who thinks it's her shot at becoming a model. Even if the FI did this, your photographer was in the wrong to do what she said. Last I checked, she wasn't the one paying him.

megk8oz

Em, you're right ... I don't think she told him to take pics of her ... I really think she just followed him around all night and just got in the way (Which, joke's on her if that was her plan, she looks horrible in most of them).

At first my mom was trying to say "Oh, it's only because she's in such a bright dress, your eye is just drawn to her" ... then she went through all of them and was like "Oh ... there really isn't a picture of me and your dad".

Even if she made it a point to do that,  it's really no excuse for the photog, because he should has just not taken the shots of her and made it a point to go find the people he was missing.

swim1011

I'm sorry Meg, that does suck.  I don't blame you for being bummed out at all.  And I'm curious, whatever did happen with the FI?  Obviously she made it.. did the best man go retrieve her, or did she find alternate transportation?

megk8oz

Swim, you know, I actually never found out how or when she got to NJ. I was so stunned that she and the Best Man showed up that it never crossed my mind to even ask who made what compromise (She and the Best Man were at my place apparently pretty early the day of the wedding, so I'm pretty sure he didn't go to get her the night before).

noodle_oo

That SUCKS!  I woudl definitely write a letter and complain.  Even if he can't do anythign to fix it for you guys, maybe he will learn for his future clients.  If he's a good guy, knowing how unhapy you are, maybe he will give you a partial refund or something.  But definitely put it in writing so that he knows how unhappy you are with his work.

megk8oz

This is not one of my proofs (Another friend took this), but this is essentially what all of my reception pics look like.

aerinpegadrak

Wow.  You weren't kidding.  She looks like a zombie.

Did you guys get a videographer?  If they got any shots of the reception, maybe they could get you some stills...

megk8oz

No videographer ... we couldn't afford it ... I wanted one for at least the ceremony, but we just couldn't spring for it ...

I'm just dreading calling this guy ... I know that I'm going to ask if there were pics he didn't send ... and he's going to wonder why I want to know that ... and then I'm going to wind up outright asking if he actually looked at what he sent me and why I have a million pics that look like the one I just posted and yet not a single picture of my parents dancing or me with my siblings outside of the formals.

I know it's totally wrong, but I wish my mom would call the guy instead. Not because I "need my mommy to fight my battles", but because my mom has a way of talking the way I write, she's not a b!tch and could actually handle it without missing a beat ... I've tried writing out my side of the conversation for other things in the past, but when it comes to things that bother me this much, I rarely "stick to the script".

Ok, I guess that means I need my mommy to fight my battles, lol.

tidetravel

Is it possible that your photographer didn't give you all of the pics that he took?  A lot of times, they filter out the pics that aren't up to their standards (people's eyes are closed, funny faces, etc), and will only send you what they consider "good" pictures.  For example, our photographer posted 400 proofs online, but when he sent the DVD, there was a folder of "the best" and "the rest," for a total of almost 900 pictures.  Some of the pictures in "the rest" I really liked, and were important parts of the wedding for me to have captured, even if they aren't up to my photographer's standards.

So, ask your photographer if the proofs that you have are ALL of the pictures he took or just selected ones.  If he has more, ask him to send you all of the pictures, even if he doesn't consider them to be good.  Having a picture of great-grandma with her eyes closed may be better than no pictures at all.

emilyinchile

Talked to my photographer friend last night. She says you should definitely explain to him that all the reception picture feature the same people and ask if he has more. She said in her case, while obviously she looks really in detail at getting ready/ceremony/formal pics, when it comes to the reception, she evaluates them in terms of how good the photo is rather than who's in it (like PPs have said). So it's entirely possible that your photographer has shots of other people that aren't quite as crisp or have a bit of someone's hand cut off or something that he hasn't showed you.

And it's fine for you to wind up explaining why you're asking for this! In fact, you should! You can do it, just make yourself notes so you stay on topic and get through it all.